There’s a quiet ache that comes from living out of alignment with who you really are. It’s subtle, like a tag in the back of your shirt that you almost forget is there until it starts to itch. And in your finances, that itch can turn into full-blown discomfort.

We often think of authenticity as something reserved for journaling retreats, identity crises, or the kind of self-help books you buy with good intentions and never finish. But authenticity can also be deeply financial. It’s not just about how you feel it’s about how you spend, save, and stress.

Because if we’re honest, a lot of people are budgeting for a life they don’t even like.

Think about it. How many purchases have you made for the version of you that only exists in your imagination? The one who always looks put together, never repeats outfits, and somehow has a fridge full of green juices that don’t expire? That version of you is expensive. And slightly exhausting.

We’re not just buying things—we’re buying belonging. A curated lifestyle. A story we hope people believe. The upgraded car. The “dream” apartment with more square footage than friends to invite over. The business wardrobe for a job that mostly happens over Zoom.

This isn’t judgment, it’s a gentle nudge. What’s the honest answer if we ask ourselves how many of our financial choices are less about needs and more about narratives? We spend to feel enough. We say yes to things we don’t want to attend. We avoid our bank account like it’s judging us. (It’s not. But the notification that says “Your balance is low” does feel oddly personal.)

The more out of alignment we are with our real selves, the more chaotic our money becomes. Being real with ourselves clears the fog. It’s like finally putting on your glasses and realizing that plant you’ve been watering for three months is fake. Clarity can be funny that way.

When you start aligning your spending with your actual values—not the values your friends or social media feed told you to have—things change. You stop buying out of guilt or comparison. You stop chasing trends that don’t match your life. You give yourself permission to be weirdly specific in your budget, like prioritizing concert tickets over cable or saving for a tiny house instead of a mortgage in the suburbs.

Authenticity also means accepting the truth, especially the uncomfortable kind. Like admitting that you’re still paying off a trip that didn’t even go that well. Or that you have no idea how investing works, and your current strategy is “gut feelings and Google searches.”

In business, authenticity can be just as freeing. Stop trying to sell like someone else. Your clients don’t need a guru, they need a guide who knows who they are and isn’t afraid to sound like themselves. If you’re quirky, be quirky. If you’re straightforward, don’t fake the fluff. People can smell performance, and they usually don’t like it…unless it’s on Broadway.

Living and spending authentically doesn’t mean you never treat yourself or go after big dreams. It just means you do it with a sense of peace instead of pressure. It means your budget starts feeling like a mirror instead of a mask.

So, if you’re feeling stuck financially, maybe the next step isn’t another app or spreadsheet. Maybe it’s asking yourself: Am I spending money to be myself or to escape myself? Because the best financial plan starts with telling the truth. To ourselves. And maybe making peace with the fact that your “dream life” might actually involve fewer brunches and more naps.