What Affordability Really Means After Divorce

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There’s a moment after divorce or a major life reset when things finally settle down and everything gets quiet.

The paperwork is signed.
The adrenaline fades.
And you’re standing in your kitchen at 9:30 p.m., eating cereal for dinner, wondering how this became your life.

That’s usually when the question shows up:

Can I buy a home or keep the one I’m in on my own?

Not to prove anything.
Not to “win” the divorce.
Not to impress anyone who doesn’t pay your bills.

Just to build something steady again.

If that’s where you are, let me say this gently: buying a home after divorce is different. Not impossible. Just different. And God’s not surprised you’re here.

I know this season well. I’ve lived it. And I’ve watched God meet people right in the middle of it, sometimes with provision, sometimes with redirection, and occasionally with a sense of humor that feels almost rude at first.

Buying on one income changes everything.

There’s no “we’ll figure it out later.”
No second paycheck as a safety net in the background.
No shared “oops” fund when the water heater decides to retire early.

It can feel scary… and oddly freeing.

You stop asking:
“What can we qualify for?”

And start asking:
“What can I afford and still sleep at night?”

That question is wisdom.

After divorce, many people go one of two ways:

They either tell themselves,
“I guess I don’t get to want much anymore.”

Or they swing hard in the other direction, like,
“I’ve been through enough. I deserve this house.”

Both reactions make sense. Neither one makes great financial decisions.

Budgeting on one income isn’t God telling you to live small forever. It’s Him inviting you into stability.

It’s knowing:

  • What your income supports without constant stress
  • How much margin you need to feel safe
  • What makes your nervous system calm, not clenched

Here’s where people get tripped up.

They focus on:
“Can I make the payment?”

But forget:

  • Repairs don’t care that you’re newly single
  • Utility bills don’t accept emotional coupons
  • Maintenance doesn’t show mercy just because you’re tired

Owning a home should not require prayer every time the fridge makes a noise.

Your home should support your life, not consume it.

God is a provider. But, He’s not asking you to ignore math.

Emotional buying is very real after divorce

Let’s be honest.

After loss, people shop with feelings.

They buy the house that quietly says:
“I’m okay.”
“I made it.”
“I didn’t lose everything.”

Or the house that whispers:
“I shouldn’t want much.”
“I’ll stay small.”
“I don’t trust good things anymore.”

Neither extreme is sinful. Both are human. But finding stable middle ground is best.

Your house doesn’t need to heal your heart. God does that work. Your house just needs to be a safe place to land.

One of the most freeing thoughts rebuilding buyers can have is this:

“My home doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to work.”

Work for your income.
Work for your peace.
Work for the life God is rebuilding, not the one you’re grieving.

Sometimes that means:

  • Less square footage
  • A longer timeline
  • A simpler layout
  • A different plan than the one you had before

And sometimes it means letting yourself want something nice again without guilt. God is not offended by your desire for beauty or comfort.

Why I Specialize in This Season

I work with divorced, newly single, and rebuilding homebuyers because I understand the layers.

The financial reset.
The emotional exhaustion.
The quiet prayers that sound like, “Please don’t let me mess this up.”

Buying a home after divorce isn’t just a transaction. It’s a moment of direction.

And when done thoughtfully, with wisdom, numbers, prayer, and a little grace for yourself, it can be one of the most stabilizing decisions you make.

Not because it fixes everything.
But because it gives you a place to breathe while God continues to rebuild the rest.

And yes, you might still eat cereal for dinner sometimes.

That’s okay too.

The Fastest Way To Make Buying A Home A Reality

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A new year always brings that itch for something different.
A fresh start.
A new chapter.
A place that finally feels like yours.

If buying a home is on your heart this year, the best place to start isn’t Zillow, a drive through your favorite neighborhood, or a chat with a realtor.

The first step lives in one place:

Your credit report.

It’s not flashy.
It’s not exciting.
But it’s the foundation that decides whether your homebuying journey feels peaceful… or stressful.

Let’s walk through why credit is so important and how to get it ready before you step into the homebuying world.

Why Credit Comes First

Your credit score affects everything about your mortgage:

  • What loan programs you qualify for
  • Your interest rate
  • Your monthly payment
  • The amount you pay over the life of the loan
  • Your mortgage insurance
  • Your level of bargaining power

People hear that FHA will approve scores as low as 580 and think, “Great, I only need to hit the number.”
Not quite.

A lower score may get you approved,
but a higher score gives you a more affordable and comfortable mortgage.

You’re not just buying a house, you’re borrowing money to borrow money.
That’s the part your credit score controls.

In a high-rate market, this matters more than ever.

A higher score can lower your rate, reduce your payments, and open the door to cheaper, better loan options.

Start the Year With a Credit Deep Dive

If you’ve avoided looking at your credit report, you aren’t alone.
Most people only check it when something goes wrong.

But checking your credit is not about judgment, it’s about seeing the path forward.

Here’s where to begin:

1. Pull all three credit reports

Experian, Equifax, TransUnion.
Not the score your bank gives you — you need the full reports.

2. Go line by line

Look for:

  • Mistakes
  • Accounts that aren’t yours
  • Old items past the reporting period
  • Duplicate accounts
  • Late payments
  • High balances

You can’t fix what you can’t see.

3. Highlight the things hurting your score

Late payments and high utilization are the biggest score killers.
This is where many people get discouraged, but this is exactly where the opportunity sits.

4. Create a simple plan

Not a complicated spreadsheet.
Not a promise you can’t keep.
Just a realistic plan that helps you move forward one step at a time.

Here are practical steps that help most buyers to raise their score before house shopping:

Lower your credit card balances

Aim to get each card to a healthier range.
Even small changes here can move your score quickly.

Set every bill on automatic payments

Late payments are sneaky and damaging.
This stops that cycle.

Dispute errors

If something is wrong with your report, fix it now, not when you’re sitting in a lender’s office feeling stressed.

Add positive credit

A secured card or credit builder loan can add healthy activity if your credit is thin.

Stop applying for anything

No store cards.
No “pre-qualified” offers.
Protect your score while you’re preparing.

Why This Matters So Much in Today’s Market

Rates may shift throughout the year, but your credit score is one thing you can control.

When your score goes up:

  • Your loan options increase
  • Your rate can drop
  • Your payment becomes more comfortable
  • Your total cost of ownership goes down

This isn’t about chasing a perfect number. It’s about putting yourself in the best financial position possible before you commit to the biggest purchase of your life.

Give Yourself Time, Not Pressure

Many people wait until they want a house right now and then rush to fix years of credit habits in 30 days. That creates panic and disappointment.

Starting early makes the entire experience steady and manageable.

Think of it this way:

Fixing your credit isn’t just a step in the homebuying process; it’s part of becoming the future homeowner you want to be.

If You Want to Buy a Home This Year, Start Here

Before:

  • Shopping
  • Touring
  • Getting pre-approved
  • Choosing a lender
  • Talking interest rates

Start with your credit.

It’s the first step to a home you can afford, enjoy, and comfortably maintain.

If you want support with reviewing your credit, creating a simple plan, or preparing for a lender conversation, I can help you build a clear path to get ready for homeownership this year.

You’re not alone in this, and you’re not behind.
You’re just getting started on the right foot.

Why Are You Holding Yourself There?

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I’m going to say what you’ve probably been thinking:

You’re worn out.

Not in the “I should go to bed earlier” way. More in the “I’m carrying ten different worries and pretending I’m fine” way.

Trying to figure out how you’ll ever buy a home when everything feels overpriced.
Trying to rebuild financially after a divorce that flipped your life inside out.
Trying to stop the money disagreements with your partner because you both look at dollars and bills through completely different lenses.

It adds up.
And it weighs on you in ways people don’t always see.

But you’re not just tired of the situation.
You’re tired of feeling like you’re doing everything you can… and still not getting anywhere.

And deep down, you might be waiting.

Waiting for the “right time.”
Waiting until life settles.
Waiting until you’re less stressed, less busy, less overwhelmed.

But think about it… when was the last time life slowed down for any of us?

You might be telling yourself you’ll start once things calm down.
But somehow, every week comes with a new fire to put out.

And while you’re waiting?

Time keeps moving.

The next six months are coming whether you’re ready or not.
The next year is still going to show up, even if you spend the whole time in pause mode.
Life isn’t going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Okay, now’s a good moment.”

Life is going to happen, with or without you.

And I’m saying this with love:

If you keep waiting for life to feel peaceful, you’ll be waiting forever.

I’m not judging you. I’ve lived this.
I’ve stalled.
I’ve told myself, “I’ll start once things slow down.”
Meanwhile, life kept tossing curveballs, and I was still trying to figure out how to make a dollar behave.

And somewhere in all this, there’s a steady nudge from God that says:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3)

It doesn’t say after you fix everything.
It doesn’t say once everything is organized, clean, and predictable.
It just says: Commit.

Show up as you are.
In the mess.
With the fear.
With the busy schedule.
With the long list of worries.

Because God doesn’t need perfect timing. He just needs willingness.

You might feel like you have too much going on to start fixing your finances.

But imagine how heavy things will feel six months from now if nothing changes.

Imagine being in the exact same spot or even further behind a year from today:
Still overwhelmed, still guessing, still exhausted.

That’s the part we don’t think about enough.

Waiting isn’t neutral.
It costs you peace.
It costs you progress.
It costs you time you can’t get back.

And look, you’re not asking for a yacht.
You’re not trying to impress anybody.
You just want stability.
A future that feels steady.
A home that doesn’t stretch every part of you thin.
A bank account that doesn’t give you heartburn.

You deserve that.
Not someday.
Not “when things settle.”
Now.

And you can get there by starting with small, doable steps that don’t require your whole life to be perfect first.

So if you’re sitting there thinking:

“I’m drowning in decisions.”
or
“I can’t focus on this right now. I have too much going on.”

Let me gently ask:

Isn’t that the exact reason to start now?

Life won’t magically get easier.
But you can get stronger, clearer, and more prepared, one step at a time.

Imagine where you could be next year if you started today.
Imagine looking back thinking, “I’m glad I didn’t wait again.”

And when you’re ready, I’ll walk with you.
We’ll get your finances steadier.
We’ll get your credit where it needs to be.
We’ll get you prepared to buy a home without losing your mind.

Because you’re not too late.
You’re just at a turning point, and it’s time to move forward, not keep waiting for permission from a moment that may never come.

You Didn’t Struggle For Nothing

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Some of the challenges this year felt more like “Lord, are You sure I’m built for this?” moments than “I’m so thankful” moments.
This year might’ve handed you a few struggles you didn’t see coming.
Bills, surprises, decisions, mistakes, lessons — the whole package.

Even so… you’re here. And that says something.

I won’t pretend the tough moments were pleasant. Nobody sits there saying, “Wow, this financial setback is really blessing my spirit today.”
But those same moments changed you in ways comfort never could.

Because it grows you.

As much as we don’t like it, the hard seasons teach us more about money and ourselves than the easy ones ever will.
Nobody learns discipline when the paycheck is overflowing.
No character is built when the bills are light.
And nobody cries out to God for guidance when everything is smooth and easy.

It’s in the struggle that we learn things we wouldn’t have learned any other way.

Being thankful for the lessons doesn’t mean you enjoyed the struggle.

It just means you refused to let it break you.

Maybe this year forced you to take budgeting seriously.
Maybe a financial surprise pushed you to rethink your priorities.
Maybe you had to let go of something you weren’t ready to release.
Or maybe you finally realized you were tired of repeating the same cycle repeatedly.

Whatever your story is, every challenge added something to you: strength, clarity, or courage.

James 1:2–4 says to “count it all joy” when we face trials because those trials shape endurance.
Endurance isn’t pretty, but it will carry you financially further than any “perfect plan” ever will.

The hard stuff teaches:

1. Discipline over impulse

When money is tight, you learn the difference between needs, wants, and “maybe I’ll just walk away before I talk myself into this.”

2. Patience while you wait for better

Waiting for progress teaches you to stop comparing your life to everyone else’s highlight reel.

3. Courage to face your numbers even when they scare you

You learned to open the banking app and check that balance more regularly.
(Yes, your heart raced, but you did it.)

4. Wisdom that keeps you from repeating old mistakes

Nothing will make you wiser than a financial lesson that slapped you once.
You don’t need it slapping you twice.

There’s nothing like a hard-hitting mistake to make you say, “Oh, I’m never doing that again.”

5. Gratitude for the progress you have made

Small wins count.
Tiny steps count.
And survival counts too.

Maybe you didn’t hit every goal, but you’re not where you used to be.
Small steps still move you forward.

As Thanksgiving gets close, take a moment to be thankful, if not for the struggle itself, maybe for the strength it produced.

You’re more aware of your habits.
Your boundaries are clearer.
Your goals make more sense.
And the person you’re becoming is stronger than the person who started this year.

Sometimes God lets us walk through the hard places so we can finally see what we’re capable of and so we stop thinking about money the same old way. Sometimes the struggle is what finally pushes us into real financial change – the kind that lasts, not the kind that fades after three weeks of motivation.

So if this year stretched you… good! Be thankful you’re not who you used to be.
Be thankful for what you learned.
Be thankful that the next version of your life is being built on solid ground.

Be thankful you’re heading into the new year with sharper skills, better habits, and a whole new level of confidence.

Let the credit go to God for carrying you, and let the credit card stay in your wallet while you build on everything you gained.

That’s something to be thankful for.

And if you feel like you’re not quite there yet but would like to be, start the new year strong by scheduling a call with me. It’s free! It’s never too late to get on the right path.

Schedule Here

Are You Throwing the Big Fish Back?

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You’ve probably heard the story about a man fishing by the river. He was catching more fish than anyone else, so people started gathering to see what he was doing differently. But when they watched closely, they got confused. Every time he caught a fish, he pulled out a tape measure. If the fish was smaller than eight inches, he kept it. If it was bigger, he tossed it back into the water.

Someone finally asked him, “Why in the world are you throwing back the big ones?”
The man replied, “Because my frying pan is only eight inches wide.”

Now, most of us would laugh at that, right? But a lot of us are doing the exact same thing with our finances.

We pray for financial blessings. We talk about wanting to save more, earn more, or get out of debt. Yet when opportunity knocks, we throw it right back because it doesn’t fit the size of our current “frying pan.”

Maybe you’ve said things like:

  • “I could never make that much money.”
  • “I’ll always be bad with budgeting.”
  • “People like me don’t get ahead financially.”
  • “I don’t deserve more.”

That’s not reality. That’s our own limiting belief.

You might be asking God to bless your finances, but He’s waiting for you to expand your capacity to receive it. It reminds me of Matthew 25:29, where Jesus says:

“For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

That verse isn’t saying God plays favorites; it’s about stewardship. When we handle what we have well, more comes. But when we let fear or disbelief call the shots, we end up tossing big opportunities back because they don’t fit our comfort zone.

And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not even about lack of opportunity — it’s about our habits. You can’t pray for financial peace and then let Amazon talk you into buying a 3 a.m. “emergency candle holder” because it was on sale.

If that stings a little, I get it. I’ve been there too. We’ve all made financial decisions that made us shake our heads later. But awareness is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • What’s really keeping me from saving more or paying off debt?
  • When did I start believing I wasn’t “good with money”?
  • Who told me I couldn’t have more?

Those thoughts didn’t appear out of nowhere. They came from experiences, family patterns, and sometimes fear. But Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That includes how you think about money.

When you change your beliefs, your behavior follows. Replace “I’ll never get ahead” with “I’m learning how to build stability.” Replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I plan for it?”

The truth is, God can bless you with bigger fish, but you’ve got to be ready to receive them.

So maybe it’s time to stop throwing back the blessings because they don’t fit your current situation. Stretch your faith, adjust your mindset, and grab yourself a bigger frying pan.

Because when you do, you’ll realize the abundance you’ve been praying for has been swimming right in front of you the whole time.

The Hidden Lesson Behind Those Gifts on the Porch

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I remember being a little kid, maybe five or six, coming home one cold winter night with my sister and parents to our tiny house heated by a coal burning stove. It was around Christmas, and we’d been gone all day. When we got back, there were gifts sitting on the back doorstep, one for every single person in the family.

And in my little kid brain, I thought, Wow, Santa really outdid himself this year! I remember feeling so happy, so excited. It felt magical.

What I didn’t understand then, and what hit me a lot later, was that those gifts weren’t from Santa. They were from people in town who knew we didn’t have much that year. People who quietly showed up to make sure we still had a Christmas.

And I’ll be honest, when I figured that out as an adult, it hit hard. Because that’s when I realized… we were probably the poorest family in town.

Now, as a kid, you don’t think much about money. You just know what you have and what you don’t. But growing up with that kind of experience, it stuck with me. It planted this belief deep down that not having money meant something about me. That if I wasn’t doing well financially, I was somehow “less than.”

And for a long time, I carried that into adulthood.

If I wasn’t making enough money, I felt embarrassed. If someone asked how much I made or what I did for work, I’d tense up a little. Even when I started doing okay, there was still this fear in the back of my mind that it could all disappear, that I might end up back on that porch, being the family that needed someone else to show up for them.

That kind of shame can run deep. It shows up in the way you spend, the way you save, even in the way you talk about money. You might feel guilty for having it, or guilty for not having enough of it. And the truth is, neither one feels good.

It took me years to unlearn that. To realize that my worth has nothing to do with my income. That money isn’t good or bad. It’s just a tool. And when you know how to use it, it can give you options, peace, and the freedom to help others the way someone once helped my family.

That night, those mystery gifts on the doorstep, they taught me a lot more than I realized at the time. They taught me about kindness, about quiet generosity, and about what it feels like to be on the receiving end of grace.

Now, when I think about money, I think about that balance between giving and receiving, between being smart with what you have and being grateful for what you’ve been given.

And I think maybe that’s something we all need to remember. You can grow up poor, make mistakes, feel shame, and still learn how to create a healthy relationship with money.

We need to learn being broke isn’t permanent. But the lessons it teaches you about resilience, about gratitude, about empathy – those can change your life forever.

If you’d like some tips and tricks on dealing with holiday spending or personal finance all year round, follow me on any social media platform.

https://www.instagram.com/tulinc_coaching/

https://www.facebook.com/TuLincU/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvonneclark/

TikTok @tulinc_coaching

(YouTube channel coming soon)

And if you’d like to schedule a free call with me, go here– https://tulincu.com/

The Great Generational Money Feud: Who Really Had It Easier?

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Let’s get controversial. Arguments about money between generations have become intense. Online, Boomers might say, “If you’d stop buying $7 lattes, you could afford a house!” while Millennials or Gen Z reply, “Yeah, when homes didn’t cost 14 times your salary!”

It’s easy to roll your eyes at either side. But, like most arguments, the truth isn’t black and white; it’s somewhere in the middle.

The Older Generation’s Side: “We Worked for It.”

The older generation loves to remind everyone that they worked hard for what they have, and they’re not wrong. Many of them came up during a time when you landed a job and stayed there for 30 years, maybe even retired with a pension.

They dealt with sky-high interest rates, sometimes as high as 15% or more in the late ’70s and ’80s. So yes, homes were cheaper, but financing them was a whole different kind of painful. A single percentage point (or even a quarter of one) can mean hundreds of dollars a month, and they felt that sting.

They didn’t have credit cards on every corner or “buy now, pay later” buttons tempting them daily. Vacations (if they took them) were road trips, dinners out were rare, and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant mowing your yard, not competing with Instagram influencers.

So when they look at today’s spending habits, subscription services, daily coffee runs, and designer side hustles, they see indulgence, not inflation.

And from their view, they’re right. They learned to live on less because they had to.

The Younger Generation’s Side: “You Don’t Get It.”

But the younger generation isn’t imagining things either; the math really is different now.

Yes, Boomers had higher interest rates, but they were also borrowing a lot less. A $60,000 house at 12% is a whole different beast than a $400,000 home at 7%. And that’s if you can even get approved for a mortgage with today’s debt-to-income ratios.

Millennials and Gen Z aren’t just battling home prices. They’re buried under student loans, rising healthcare costs, childcare that costs more than rent, and stagnant wages that haven’t kept up with inflation. Many of them are working two jobs or side hustles just to break even.

And while many Boomers had company pensions and affordable healthcare through their employers, younger workers are often piecing together gig income, freelance work, and 401(k)s that depend entirely on their own contributions.

Add in things like skyrocketing rent, insurance premiums, and the constant cost of staying “connected”, internet, cell phone, streaming, and apps, and it’s no wonder so many feel like they’re sprinting just to stay in place.

The Truth in the Middle

Here’s where both sides are right and wrong.

The older generation worked hard and faced real financial challenges, but they also lived in an economy that rewarded stability and consistency. The younger generation is facing costs that didn’t exist back then, but they also live in a time with more access to information, flexibility, and opportunity than ever before.

Boomers had to sacrifice convenience; Millennials and Gen Z have to sacrifice comfort. Both are valid forms of struggle.

The truth is, both generations want the same thing: financial freedom, peace of mind, and the ability to enjoy life without worrying about the next bill. They just had to play the game under completely different rules.

What We Can Learn From Each Other

Maybe the older generation could acknowledge that times really have changed and the math doesn’t add up the same way it used to.
And maybe the younger generation could recognize that some of the financial frustration isn’t just systemic, it’s also behavioral.

Discipline, patience, and delayed gratification still matter. But so does adaptability, creativity, and learning to navigate a world that moves faster than ever.

If we stopped arguing over who had it worse and started learning from each other, we might actually meet in the middle: old-school sacrifice with modern strategy.

Because financial success isn’t just about the decade you were born in, it’s about how you manage the one you’re living in.

You Know What to Do. So Why Aren’t You Doing It?

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Let’s cut straight to it.
You probably already know how to fix your money problems.

You’ve read the blogs. You’ve watched the videos.
You know how to budget, how to save, and what not to buy on impulse.
So if knowledge was the answer, you’d already be good.

But you’re not stuck because you don’t know. You’re stuck because you don’t trust yourself to follow through.

And that’s a different kind of problem.

It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the stories.

Every money habit you have; the overspending, the procrastination, the avoidance, is connected to a story you’ve told yourself for years.
Maybe it’s:
“I’ve never been good with money.”
“I’ll never have enough.”
“I’ll start once I make more.”

And every time you act in a way that fits that story, it reinforces it.
Not because you want to stay stuck, but because it feels familiar.

Familiar feels safe, even when it’s expensive.

So you keep living on autopilot, repeating the same behaviors you swore you’d stop doing… because doing something different requires a new identity, not just new information.

Let’s get real for a second.

You don’t need another budget app.
You don’t need a color-coded spreadsheet.
You don’t even need another “money challenge.”

What you do need is a better understanding of why you don’t believe yourself when you say you’ll change.

Because if you’ve broken a promise to yourself enough times, you stop trusting your own word.
And without trust, motivation doesn’t matter.

So what can you actually do?

Let’s shake things up a little. Not with more rules, but with real moves.

1. Stop setting “perfect world” goals.
You don’t live in a perfect world. Stop making plans for one.
If your budget only works when nothing goes wrong, it’s not realistic, it’s fantasy. Build in real life. Build in the unexpected. Build in grace.

2. Change your environment before you change your behavior.
If your phone is full of shopping apps, delete them.
If you always overspend with certain friends, start suggesting hangouts that don’t cost money.
You can’t keep your same habits and expect your money to behave differently.

3. Make your progress visible.
We love seeing “wins,” but most financial change happens quietly like paying $200 more than the minimum payment regularly, saying no to dinner out, skipping the sale. Track it somewhere you can see it. Progress you can see becomes progress you protect.

4. Create small discomfort on purpose.
Change never happens in your comfort zone. Set up small challenges that stretch you; a no-spend weekend, a savings goal that feels slightly out of reach, a conversation with someone about debt that you’ve been avoiding.
You don’t need chaos. You need tension that teaches you self-control.

5. Ask better questions.
Instead of “Why can’t I stick to this?” ask, “What do I gain by not changing?”
Because if you’re holding onto a habit, even a bad one, it’s doing something for you; giving you comfort, control, or distraction. When you find that reason, you can finally replace it with something healthier.

Here’s the truth no one likes to hear:
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t have a plan.
They stay stuck because they’re addicted to the version of themselves that’s used to struggling.

Change costs identity.
And until you’re willing to let go of who you’ve been with money, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns, just with better excuses.

So maybe the question isn’t “Why am I not doing what I know I should do?”
Maybe it’s “What part of me is afraid of what happens if I actually do it?”

Because sometimes it’s not fear of failure holding you back — it’s fear of finally succeeding.

When Money Decisions Feel Like a Game of Whack-a-Mole

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Ever feel like every time you handle one money issue, three more pop up like a bad round of Whack-a-Mole? You finally pay off one credit card, and boom; the car needs tires, your kid’s field trip fee is due, and someone forgot about that “automatic renewal” you swore you canceled last year.

It’s exhausting.

And if you’ve ever stood in the grocery aisle staring at forty-seven kinds of peanut butter, wondering if “organic,” “crunchy,” or the one with the yellow lid is the “right” choice, you know the feeling. Now multiply that by a mortgage, retirement plans, student loans, and maybe a business decision or two. That’s financial decision paralysis.

We live in a time that’s overflowing with options; apps that track your spending, influencers promising overnight wealth, and “exclusive” credit card offers that show up like uninvited party guests. It’s no wonder people freeze. We’re not just afraid of picking wrong. We’re afraid of failing, of wasting money, of being judged.

And so, we do nothing.
The problem with that is that doing nothing is a decision. And often, it’s the most expensive one.

Why We Freeze Up

It’s not really about money. It’s about fear.
Fear of making the wrong move. Fear of regret. Fear that one bad choice will mess everything up.

We’ve been taught to chase the perfect plan, have the perfect budget, the perfect investment, the perfect system when we all know there’s no such thing. Personal finance isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal.

God never asked us to be perfect planners. He asked us to be faithful stewards. That means doing the best we can with what we have and trusting Him with the rest. He’s not grading us on flawless execution. He’s looking for obedience, wisdom, and a little faith in the middle of the mess.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

Avoiding financial decisions feels safe in the moment, but it’s like putting your money in time-out and hoping it grows while it’s sitting there. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

When you avoid rolling over that old 401(k) or skip setting up a spending plan because it’s overwhelming, that’s progress on pause. And that pause has a price.

Then there’s the stress. That constant mental weight of “I should probably deal with that…” Stress steals your sleep, your joy, and your peace. But remember, God never meant for you to carry all that alone. He said, “Cast your cares on Me,” not “juggle them until you drop.”

How to Break Free from the Freeze

So how do you stop spinning in circles and start moving forward?

  1. Shrink the decision.
    Stop asking, “What’s the perfect plan for retirement?” and start asking, “Can I move 2% more into savings this month?” Small moves create big momentum.
  2. Set boundaries.
    You don’t need every podcast, influencer, and newsletter in your head. Mute the noise. Choose trusted sources, and protect your peace.
  3. Pray before you pay.
    God may not drop your investment strategy into your DMs, but prayer slows the panic. It shifts your heart from fear to faith.
  4. Pick something.
    Almost any forward step beats standing still. Even if you have to adjust later, you’re learning and growing.
  5. Ask for help.
    God wired us for community. Sometimes the breakthrough comes after talking it out with someone who’s not tangled up in your emotions; a friend, a mentor, or yes… a coach.

If you’ve been stuck in that place of financial overwhelm, just pause and breathe for a second. You’re human and you’ve had a lot on your plate.

God’s not looking at your credit score; He’s looking at your heart. He’s not waiting for you to have it all figured out. He’s just waiting for you to take one faithful step forward.

So pick one thing. Just one. Maybe it’s setting up automatic savings. Maybe it’s finally opening that envelope that’s been sitting on your counter giving you the side-eye. Or maybe it’s reaching out for a little guidance and support.

Progress doesn’t come from having all the answers today. It comes from small steps, a little faith, and a good sense of humor when life gets messy.

And listen… if you still can’t decide between crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Buy both. God gives us room for a little grace — and a little variety.

The Addiction No One Talks About

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I saw this quote recently, and I swear it leapt off the screen and side-eyed me:
“If you don’t think you’re addicted to something, try fasting from it.”

Well… that felt a little personal.

Because my first thought was, Oh, I could give up anything if I had to.
And then I imagined going a week without coffee, Amazon, or that little thrill I get when I see “Your order has shipped.”
Suddenly, I realized, yeah, maybe I am a little addicted.

Financial Fasting Hits Different

Now, before you think I’m suggesting a wilderness fast with no water and locusts, calm down. I’m talking about a financial fast; no unnecessary spending for a set time.

No takeout. No “just one quick Target run.” No late-night scrolling on Etsy, convincing yourself you need another candle that smells like “Peaceful Rainforest Serenity.”

If you want to know what’s got a grip on you, try saying no to it for seven days.
The first day, you’ll feel strong. Day two, you’ll justify everything. By day three, you’ll be eyeing your debit card like it’s the last donut in the box.

The moment you tell yourself no, you start to see what’s really driving the yes. But that’s where the learning happens.

What God Showed Me

When I went through my divorce, I didn’t just lose a marriage; I lost my sense of safety. And without realizing it, I tried to buy that feeling back. New clothes, dinners out, little treats “to cheer myself up.”

And I remember God nudging me one day: “You’re trying to fill an emotional hole with financial band-aids.”

Ouch again.

Because He was right. What I really needed was peace. Not another Amazon box on my porch.

Money wasn’t my problem. My need for comfort was.
And only God could really meet that need.

The Real Addiction

It’s not always the spending we’re hooked on.
It’s the feeling it gives us. The comfort, control, or distraction.
And when those feelings fade, we’re right back where we started, wallet lighter and heart still hungry.

That’s why fasting, financial or otherwise, can be such a powerful reset. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about revelation.

When we stop feeding the habit, we start hearing from God in the quiet.
And He has this funny way of showing us what we’ve been running from… and what we actually need.

Let’s Dig a Little Deeper

Here’s where the life coach in me steps in:
If you find yourself overspending, ask what need you’re really trying to meet.

Are you buying to feel seen?
To escape stress?
To reward yourself because no one else is clapping for your effort?
Or maybe, you’re trying to create a sense of control in a life that feels unpredictable.

When you can name the feeling behind the behavior, you start to break the pattern.
And when you bring that awareness to God, He can actually heal the part of you that’s reaching for something temporary to soothe something deeper.

Try It

Pick one thing to fast from financially. It might be DoorDash, Amazon, Starbucks, or online browsing when you’re bored.

Every time the urge hits, stop and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What am I hoping this purchase will fix?
  • Is there another way I can meet that need, spiritually, emotionally, or practically?

Then invite God into that space.
Pray. Take a walk. Journal. Call a friend.
You’ll start to see what’s been running your money (and maybe your peace) without your permission.

Sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough money.
It’s that we’re spending to fill a void only God and a little self-honesty can heal.

And when you fast from what controls you, you finally make room for what frees you.

And hey, if you make it all seven days without an Amazon relapse, reward yourself with… well, prayer. Or maybe a walk. But not another candle, okay? (And no—adding just one thing to your Amazon cart “for later” doesn’t count as fasting. Nice try.)