The Most Frustrating Part of Fixing Your Finances (That No One Talks About)

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There’s a stage of financial growth that doesn’t get celebrated, posted, or talked about much.

It’s the season where you’re trying. Really trying. You’re more aware, more careful, more intentional… but the results feel small and slow. You keep showing up, yet the big changes still seem just out of reach.

That’s the season where patience starts to wear thin.

It’s the waiting.

Not the soothing, inspirational poster with rocks perfectly balanced in a stack next to a flowing river, talking about patience, kind of waiting. I’m talking about the kind where you check your bank app again even though you already know what it says. The kind where you’ve been “doing better” for months and your life still doesn’t look like a money makeover show.

Working on your finances asks for a level of patience that feels almost rude.

You start out motivated. New budget. Fresh goals. Maybe even a color-coded spreadsheet that makes you feel like the CEO of your own life. You’re ready. You’re focused. You’re finally dealing with the stuff you used to avoid.

Then reality strolls in like, “Oh, you wanted progress? That’ll be delivered in small, unimpressive installments over a long period of time.”

Rude.

The hard part is that financial change doesn’t usually come with fireworks. It comes with tiny decisions that feel boring and repetitive. Packing lunch. Logging into your account. Saying “not this time” to something you really want. Moving a little money to savings and trying not to laugh at how small the number looks.

You’re doing the right things, but your feelings are over there tapping their foot like, “Are we rich yet or what?”

This is where patience starts to feel less like a virtue and more like a test of character.

There’s a scripture that comes to mind in Galatians 6:9 about not getting tired of doing good, because in the right season you’ll reap a harvest if you don’t give up. That sounds lovely stitched on a pillow. In real life, it feels more like, “Lord, I am doing the good. I would now like the harvest. Preferably by Friday.”

But money growth follows seasons, not moods. And seasons don’t rush because we’re uncomfortable.

One of the sneakiest things that makes patience harder is comparison. You’re over here, proud that you didn’t overdraft this month, and someone else is posting closing photos in front of a new house with a giant bow on the door. You’re celebrating a paid-off credit card, and somebody else is on a beach talking about “soft life.”

It can make your steady progress feel small, even when it’s taking real effort and courage. You don’t see their backstory, their help, their debt, their stress, or their timing. You just see the highlight reel while you’re in the middle of your training montage.

And let’s be honest, the middle is not glamorous.

The middle is where you’re tired of thinking about money but still have to. It’s where an unexpected car repair shows up like an uninvited guest and eats the money you just saved. It’s where you wonder how you can be trying this hard and still feel like you’re only inching forward.

That’s usually when the old thoughts creep in. “I should have figured this out sooner.” “Why does this feel so hard?” “I’m never going to get where I want to be.”

That spiral can make you want to quit, not because you don’t care, but because you care so much and you’re worn out. Patience feels impossible when you’re emotionally tired.

This is where grace and grit have to team up.

Grace says you’re allowed to be learning. Grit says you’re still getting up tomorrow and making the next wise decision anyway. Even if that decision is small. Even if it’s just paying one bill on time, skipping one impulse buy, or looking at what you owe with honesty instead of pushing the thought away.

Small faithfulness doesn’t feel impressive, but it builds a life that feels steady.

Another verse that fits here is from Proverbs 21:5 about how steady plodding brings prosperity. Plodding is not a glamorous word. Nobody ever says, “I’m just out here plodding my way to financial peace!” But that’s exactly what it often looks like. Slow steps. Repeated choices. Not dramatic. But very effective.

And somewhere in the middle of all that plodding, something starts to change.

You notice you pause before spending. You feel a little less panic when a bill hits. You actually know what’s in your account. You recover from setbacks a bit faster than you used to. Your numbers may not be where you want them yet, but your relationship with money is changing. That’s huge.

Patience with money isn’t about pretending the wait is easy. It’s about deciding the future you’re building is worth the slow, sometimes frustrating process of getting there.

So if you’re in the thick of it, doing the unglamorous work, wishing progress would hurry up already, remind yourself that you’re in the part that builds strength, wisdom, and staying power.

And one day, you’ll look at your life and realize the season that felt the longest was the one that laid the strongest foundation.

Also, when that day comes, you have full permission to look at your bank account, smile, and say, “See? I told you we were getting somewhere.”

Your Money Habits Are Older Than You Think

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Last week we talked about how money isn’t just math, it’s emotional.

This week, we go a layer deeper.

Those emotions around money?
Most of them were formed before you ever had a bank account, a job, or a credit score.

Your money habits are older than your financial knowledge.
And they were shaped when you were little and just trying to make sense of the world.

You Learned About Money Before You Learned Multiplication

Nobody sat you down at age seven and said,
“Today we will form your lifelong beliefs about spending, saving, and self-worth.”

And yet… that’s exactly what happened.

You learned by watching how adults talked about bills. Whether money conversations sounded calm or tense. If asking for things felt safe or shameful. Whether money meant freedom… or fear.

Kids are meaning-making machines.
You didn’t just see what was happening — you decided what it meant.

And those beliefs didn’t stay in childhood.
They quietly followed you into adulthood and now they’re hanging out in your checking account.

Some of Your “Money Problems” Are Old Survival Skills

Here’s where it gets interesting.

A lot of the habits you’re frustrated with today started as ways to feel safe, loved, or in control when you were younger.

Overspending might be: “Buying things makes me feel better when life feels shaky.”

Under-earning might have roots in: “If I don’t outshine people, I won’t make anyone uncomfortable.”

Avoiding bills could trace back to: “Money talk leads to conflict, so it’s safer to ignore it.”

None of those started because you’re irresponsible. They came from emotional learning.

Your nervous system learned what money felt like long before you understood how money worked.

“I’m Bad With Money” Is Usually a Story, Not a Fact

One of the most damaging money beliefs people carry is this:

“I’m just bad with money.”

That belief rarely starts with an adult financial mistake.
It usually starts with a moment when you felt small, embarrassed, or powerless around money.

Maybe you grew up hearing “we can’t afford that” said with stress or anger and you felt guilty for needing something. Maybe you watched someone else control all the money. Or you saw money cause arguments, silence, or distance.

So your brain built a story:

“Money is stressful.”
“Money causes problems.”
“I shouldn’t want too much.”
“I don’t know how to handle money.”

And that story can run your financial life for decades, quietly influencing choices you think are purely logical.

Adult You Is Trying to Budget…

While Inner Kid You Is Trying to Feel Safe.

This is why knowing what to do doesn’t always mean you’ll do it.

You can understand that you should spend less, save more, pay down debt, stick to a plan, and still feel resistance you can’t explain.

Because part of you isn’t making decisions from a calculator.
It’s making decisions from old emotional programming.

When your bank balance drops, you may not just see a number.
You might feel the same fear you felt hearing adults whisper about money in the kitchen.

When you treat yourself to something nice, you may not just feel enjoyment.
You might also feel guilt that traces back to being told “that’s too expensive”.

The situation is current, but the emotional reaction might be decades old.

Tiny Bit of Truth That Might Sting (In a Good Way)

Some people don’t have a spending problem.

They have a comfort problem.
Or a self-worth problem.
Or a fear-of-conflict problem.

Money just ends up being the place where all that shows up.

You’re not just managing dollars. You’re navigating emotions that formed long before you had adult responsibilities.

And here’s the beautiful part — God isn’t surprised by any of this.
He sees the whole story. The little-kid moments. The adult struggles. The parts you feel embarrassed about.

There’s grace in this process. You’re learning, not failing.

How to Start Rewriting Your Money Story

You don’t need to dig up every childhood memory. This isn’t a therapy session on your couch with dramatic music playing.

But a little awareness goes a long way.

Try this:

Ask: “What did money feel like growing up?”

Was it tense? Scarce? Secretive? Generous? Chaotic? Calm?

Notice your emotional reactions now

When do you feel the most stress around money?
Spending? Checking your balance? Talking about finances?

That reaction may be connected to an old emotional imprint.

Separate past from present

You’re not that kid anymore.
You have more choices, more knowledge, and more power than you did back then.

You can invite God into this area too, not just for provision, but for healing the fear, shame, or pressure attached to money.

Your financial life today doesn’t have to follow emotional rules written years ago.

This Is Where Change Gets Real

Last week, we said money is emotional.

This week, we name where many of those emotions were born.

Not to blame the past. Not to stay stuck in it. But to understand yourself with more compassion and less shame. Because when you realize, “Oh… this isn’t just about money,” you finally get space to respond differently.

And that’s where new habits and a new financial story begin.

If this stirred something up for you, that’s a good sign. Awareness is the first step toward change that actually sticks. So sit with it a bit. Pray about it. Journal on it. Pay attention to your reactions this week. When you understand the emotional roots, the habits finally start to make sense, and that changes how you move forward.

Why Your Money Reset Keeps Resetting

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

You want to stop living paycheck to paycheck.

You want to stop spending like your debit card is sponsored by Target.
You want to open your bank app without preparing for emotional impact.

You’ve tried the things.
The budgets. The cash envelopes. The “no-spend weekend.” The new spreadsheet. The cute app with the motivational quotes.

And for a little while… it works.

Then life shows up.
Groceries cost more. The car makes a noise. Someone has a birthday. You’re tired. You deserve a treat. The budget quietly fades into the background like a gym membership in February.

And now you’re back in the same place, wondering, “Why can’t I make this stick?”

Let’s talk about that.

The Emotional Side Nobody Warned You About

We don’t just spend money.
We spend for comfort.
We spend for stress relief.
We spend in celebration.
We spend to escape

Money is tied to emotions, whether we admit it or not.

You don’t buy coffee because you’re thirsty.
You buy it because you’re looking to perk up.

You don’t use Amazon because you need something.
You use it because it’s effortless.

And you’re left wondering why the new budget isn’t working.

Scripture reminds us:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Your spending is showing you what your heart is craving.

Why Simple Changes Don’t Stick

Here’s the part nobody loves to hear:
Small changes fail when they’re sitting on top of big patterns.

You change the budget…
…but keep the same habits.

You cut subscriptions…
…but keep the same stress responses.

You track expenses…
…but keep the same money story.

A few common reasons your resets keep resetting:

1. You’re treating money like math, not behavior.

Money looks like numbers, but it moves like emotions.

2. You’re fixing tools, not identity.

You’re saying, “I need a better system,” instead of, “I need a new relationship with money.”

3. You’re trying to restrict instead of redirect.

Restriction feels like punishment. Redirection feels like power.

4. You’re aiming for perfection instead of progress.

One mistake and the whole plan feels ruined, so you quit.

5. You’re trying to build discipline without building peace.

Discipline without peace always burns out.

The Quiet Frustration Nobody Talks About

You’ve carried hope into every new plan.
And you’ve carried disappointment out of most of them.

You’re tired of starting over.

You’re tired of hoping this plan will be different.

You’re tired of watching your future goals get eaten by present stress.

Scripture speaks straight to that weariness:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

If willpower alone worked, patterns wouldn’t repeat and we wouldn’t need second chances.

Your money habits don’t need another promise you can’t keep.

They need more honesty and better support.

The Spiritual Layer We Skip Too Often

God doesn’t want you stressed, ashamed, or stuck.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

Peace doesn’t mean being rich.
Peace means steady.
Peace means clear.
Peace means you stop expecting everything to fall apart.

And Proverbs reminds us:

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” — Proverbs 21:5

Not overnight abundance.
Not lottery abundance.
Steady, built, grown abundance.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Stop asking:
“How do I fix my spending?”

Start asking:
“How do I build a life I don’t need to escape from with spending?”

That question changes everything.

Because now money isn’t just about stopping.
It’s about building.

Where This Leaves You

You can stop living paycheck to paycheck.
Not by trying harder.
But by looking deeper and building differently.

And when you stumble, because you will, remember:

“The righteous may fall seven times, but they rise again.” — Proverbs 24:16

Not because they’re perfect.
Because they don’t quit.

Show Me Your Bank Account, and I’ll Show You Your Priorities

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We all have a list in our heads.

Family. Faith. Freedom. Health. Peace. Security. Growth. Legacy.

If I asked you what matters most to you, you wouldn’t hesitate. You’d answer with confidence from the heart. And I would believe you.

But if you slid your bank statement across the table…
I’d learn something else too.

Not because you’re lying.

But because money keeps a record of what we actually choose.

Your bank account isn’t trying to teach you a lesson.
It simply tells the truth.

And sometimes, that truth is uncomfortable.

The Gap Between Values and Behavior

Most people don’t struggle with values.
They struggle with alignment.

We say we value:

  • Financial peace, but live paycheck to paycheck..
  • Family time, but buy convenience instead.
  • Freedom, yet finance everything.
  • Health, but ignore our own care.
  • Growth, but we rarely invest in learning or getting help.

Again, this isn’t about shame.
It’s about awareness.

Because money follows behavior.
And behavior follows habits.
And habits often operate without permission from our values.

Your bank account is a mirror.

It reflects what felt urgent.
What felt comforting.
What felt necessary in the moment.

And what felt easier than sitting with discomfort.

Spending Is Emotional, Not Logical

We like to pretend we are rational with money.

We are not.

We spend when we are tired.
We spend when we are bored.
We spend when we are stressed.
We spend when we are trying to feel something.

Sometimes we spend to celebrate.
Sometimes we spend to numb.
Sometimes we spend to belong.
Sometimes we spend to escape.

Your bank statement doesn’t just show transactions.
It shows emotional patterns.

It shows where you run for relief.
It shows what makes you feel safe.
It shows what you use to cope.

And once you see that, you can’t unsee it.

The Story Money Is Telling About You

Imagine your bank account could talk.

It might say:

“I value convenience more than rest.”
“I value comfort more than margin.”
“I value appearances more than peace.”
“I value quick relief more than long-term stability.”
“I value survival over strategy.”

Or it might say:

“I value preparation.”
“I value choice.”
“I value future me.”
“I value flexibility.”
“I value alignment.”

Neither story makes you a good or bad person.

But one story gives you options.
The other quietly removes them.

Priorities Aren’t What You Claim — They’re What You Fund

If something truly matters to you, it shows up in one of three places:

  1. Your calendar
  2. Your energy
  3. Your money

When all three agree, life feels grounded.

When they don’t, life feels heavy.

You can say you want financial freedom, but if every dollar is assigned to comfort, distraction, and reaction, freedom stays theoretical.

You can say you want peace, but if your spending creates pressure, peace stays distant.

You can say you want growth, but if nothing is invested in learning, growth becomes wishful thinking.

This isn’t about cutting joy.

It’s about deciding what kind of joy you want later.

Why This Feels Personal

Money touches everything:

  • How you sleep
  • How you argue
  • How you dream
  • How you choose
  • How you feel about yourself

That’s why conversations about money often feel like conversations about worth, security, control, and identity.

You aren’t just managing numbers.

You are managing your relationship with safety.

So when I say, “Show me your bank account,” what I’m really saying is:

Show me what you protect.
Show me what you fear.
Show me what you trust.
Show me what you avoid.
Show me what you believe about yourself.

The Quiet Power of Alignment

Alignment doesn’t require perfection.

It requires honesty.

Alignment is when your money begins to reflect who you are becoming, not just who you have been.

It’s when you pause before spending and ask,
“Does this support the life I say I want?”

It’s when you stop treating future-you like a stranger.

It’s when your values stop living only in words and start living in the numbers.

Alignment is peaceful.

Even when the numbers are small.

Even when progress is slow.

Because direction matters more than speed.

The Hardest Truth

If your bank account doesn’t match your values, it doesn’t mean you lack discipline.

It often means you lack clarity.

Most people were never taught how to connect values to spending.

They were taught how to earn.
They were taught how to swipe.
They were taught how to survive.

They were rarely taught how to choose.

You Don’t Need a New Budget. You Need a New Conversation.

Not a spreadsheet conversation.

A values conversation.

A “what kind of life do I actually want to fund” conversation.

A “what am I willing to delay for something better” conversation.

A “what am I tired of pretending doesn’t matter” conversation.

Because once your values are clear, the numbers become easier.

Not easy.

But clearer.

A Gentle Challenge

Pull up your last 30 days of spending.

Don’t judge it.
Don’t explain it.
Don’t justify it.

Just observe it.

Then ask:

What does this say I care about?
What does this say I avoid?
What does this say I protect?
What does this say I prioritize?

You may discover that your money isn’t betraying you.

It’s just telling you where you’ve been living on autopilot.

And autopilot can be changed.

This Is Where Real Financial Peace Starts

Not with restriction.

Not with guilt.

Not with comparison.

But with awareness.

When you see your money clearly, you gain choice.

And choice is where peace begins.

Final Thought

Your bank account is not your enemy.

It is your most honest feedback partner.

It shows you where your life is currently funded.

And it quietly invites you to decide if that still fits who you are becoming.

Reflection Question:
If your bank account had to explain your priorities to someone who’s never met you, would you feel proud of the story it tells or want to rewrite it?

If you’re ready to rewrite it, start with one small, honest shift. One choice that supports the life you actually want to live. And let that be enough for today.

If you’d like help making your money match the life you actually want, I’d love to support you. You can schedule a conversation with me when you’re ready.

You can even do a one time jump start session to get you going in the right direction dhttps://meetings.tulincu.com/public/693db1c6538dba003187eb5d

What Affordability Really Means After Divorce

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There’s a moment after divorce or a major life reset when things finally settle down and everything gets quiet.

The paperwork is signed.
The adrenaline fades.
And you’re standing in your kitchen at 9:30 p.m., eating cereal for dinner, wondering how this became your life.

That’s usually when the question shows up:

Can I buy a home or keep the one I’m in on my own?

Not to prove anything.
Not to “win” the divorce.
Not to impress anyone who doesn’t pay your bills.

Just to build something steady again.

If that’s where you are, let me say this gently: buying a home after divorce is different. Not impossible. Just different. And God’s not surprised you’re here.

I know this season well. I’ve lived it. And I’ve watched God meet people right in the middle of it, sometimes with provision, sometimes with redirection, and occasionally with a sense of humor that feels almost rude at first.

Buying on one income changes everything.

There’s no “we’ll figure it out later.”
No second paycheck as a safety net in the background.
No shared “oops” fund when the water heater decides to retire early.

It can feel scary… and oddly freeing.

You stop asking:
“What can we qualify for?”

And start asking:
“What can I afford and still sleep at night?”

That question is wisdom.

After divorce, many people go one of two ways:

They either tell themselves,
“I guess I don’t get to want much anymore.”

Or they swing hard in the other direction, like,
“I’ve been through enough. I deserve this house.”

Both reactions make sense. Neither one makes great financial decisions.

Budgeting on one income isn’t God telling you to live small forever. It’s Him inviting you into stability.

It’s knowing:

  • What your income supports without constant stress
  • How much margin you need to feel safe
  • What makes your nervous system calm, not clenched

Here’s where people get tripped up.

They focus on:
“Can I make the payment?”

But forget:

  • Repairs don’t care that you’re newly single
  • Utility bills don’t accept emotional coupons
  • Maintenance doesn’t show mercy just because you’re tired

Owning a home should not require prayer every time the fridge makes a noise.

Your home should support your life, not consume it.

God is a provider. But, He’s not asking you to ignore math.

Emotional buying is very real after divorce

Let’s be honest.

After loss, people shop with feelings.

They buy the house that quietly says:
“I’m okay.”
“I made it.”
“I didn’t lose everything.”

Or the house that whispers:
“I shouldn’t want much.”
“I’ll stay small.”
“I don’t trust good things anymore.”

Neither extreme is sinful. Both are human. But finding stable middle ground is best.

Your house doesn’t need to heal your heart. God does that work. Your house just needs to be a safe place to land.

One of the most freeing thoughts rebuilding buyers can have is this:

“My home doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to work.”

Work for your income.
Work for your peace.
Work for the life God is rebuilding, not the one you’re grieving.

Sometimes that means:

  • Less square footage
  • A longer timeline
  • A simpler layout
  • A different plan than the one you had before

And sometimes it means letting yourself want something nice again without guilt. God is not offended by your desire for beauty or comfort.

Why I Specialize in This Season

I work with divorced, newly single, and rebuilding homebuyers because I understand the layers.

The financial reset.
The emotional exhaustion.
The quiet prayers that sound like, “Please don’t let me mess this up.”

Buying a home after divorce isn’t just a transaction. It’s a moment of direction.

And when done thoughtfully, with wisdom, numbers, prayer, and a little grace for yourself, it can be one of the most stabilizing decisions you make.

Not because it fixes everything.
But because it gives you a place to breathe while God continues to rebuild the rest.

And yes, you might still eat cereal for dinner sometimes.

That’s okay too.

The Fastest Way To Make Buying A Home A Reality

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

A new year always brings that itch for something different.
A fresh start.
A new chapter.
A place that finally feels like yours.

If buying a home is on your heart this year, the best place to start isn’t Zillow, a drive through your favorite neighborhood, or a chat with a realtor.

The first step lives in one place:

Your credit report.

It’s not flashy.
It’s not exciting.
But it’s the foundation that decides whether your homebuying journey feels peaceful… or stressful.

Let’s walk through why credit is so important and how to get it ready before you step into the homebuying world.

Why Credit Comes First

Your credit score affects everything about your mortgage:

  • What loan programs you qualify for
  • Your interest rate
  • Your monthly payment
  • The amount you pay over the life of the loan
  • Your mortgage insurance
  • Your level of bargaining power

People hear that FHA will approve scores as low as 580 and think, “Great, I only need to hit the number.”
Not quite.

A lower score may get you approved,
but a higher score gives you a more affordable and comfortable mortgage.

You’re not just buying a house, you’re borrowing money to borrow money.
That’s the part your credit score controls.

In a high-rate market, this matters more than ever.

A higher score can lower your rate, reduce your payments, and open the door to cheaper, better loan options.

Start the Year With a Credit Deep Dive

If you’ve avoided looking at your credit report, you aren’t alone.
Most people only check it when something goes wrong.

But checking your credit is not about judgment, it’s about seeing the path forward.

Here’s where to begin:

1. Pull all three credit reports

Experian, Equifax, TransUnion.
Not the score your bank gives you — you need the full reports.

2. Go line by line

Look for:

  • Mistakes
  • Accounts that aren’t yours
  • Old items past the reporting period
  • Duplicate accounts
  • Late payments
  • High balances

You can’t fix what you can’t see.

3. Highlight the things hurting your score

Late payments and high utilization are the biggest score killers.
This is where many people get discouraged, but this is exactly where the opportunity sits.

4. Create a simple plan

Not a complicated spreadsheet.
Not a promise you can’t keep.
Just a realistic plan that helps you move forward one step at a time.

Here are practical steps that help most buyers to raise their score before house shopping:

Lower your credit card balances

Aim to get each card to a healthier range.
Even small changes here can move your score quickly.

Set every bill on automatic payments

Late payments are sneaky and damaging.
This stops that cycle.

Dispute errors

If something is wrong with your report, fix it now, not when you’re sitting in a lender’s office feeling stressed.

Add positive credit

A secured card or credit builder loan can add healthy activity if your credit is thin.

Stop applying for anything

No store cards.
No “pre-qualified” offers.
Protect your score while you’re preparing.

Why This Matters So Much in Today’s Market

Rates may shift throughout the year, but your credit score is one thing you can control.

When your score goes up:

  • Your loan options increase
  • Your rate can drop
  • Your payment becomes more comfortable
  • Your total cost of ownership goes down

This isn’t about chasing a perfect number. It’s about putting yourself in the best financial position possible before you commit to the biggest purchase of your life.

Give Yourself Time, Not Pressure

Many people wait until they want a house right now and then rush to fix years of credit habits in 30 days. That creates panic and disappointment.

Starting early makes the entire experience steady and manageable.

Think of it this way:

Fixing your credit isn’t just a step in the homebuying process; it’s part of becoming the future homeowner you want to be.

If You Want to Buy a Home This Year, Start Here

Before:

  • Shopping
  • Touring
  • Getting pre-approved
  • Choosing a lender
  • Talking interest rates

Start with your credit.

It’s the first step to a home you can afford, enjoy, and comfortably maintain.

If you want support with reviewing your credit, creating a simple plan, or preparing for a lender conversation, I can help you build a clear path to get ready for homeownership this year.

You’re not alone in this, and you’re not behind.
You’re just getting started on the right foot.

Why Are You Holding Yourself There?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I’m going to say what you’ve probably been thinking:

You’re worn out.

Not in the “I should go to bed earlier” way. More in the “I’m carrying ten different worries and pretending I’m fine” way.

Trying to figure out how you’ll ever buy a home when everything feels overpriced.
Trying to rebuild financially after a divorce that flipped your life inside out.
Trying to stop the money disagreements with your partner because you both look at dollars and bills through completely different lenses.

It adds up.
And it weighs on you in ways people don’t always see.

But you’re not just tired of the situation.
You’re tired of feeling like you’re doing everything you can… and still not getting anywhere.

And deep down, you might be waiting.

Waiting for the “right time.”
Waiting until life settles.
Waiting until you’re less stressed, less busy, less overwhelmed.

But think about it… when was the last time life slowed down for any of us?

You might be telling yourself you’ll start once things calm down.
But somehow, every week comes with a new fire to put out.

And while you’re waiting?

Time keeps moving.

The next six months are coming whether you’re ready or not.
The next year is still going to show up, even if you spend the whole time in pause mode.
Life isn’t going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Okay, now’s a good moment.”

Life is going to happen, with or without you.

And I’m saying this with love:

If you keep waiting for life to feel peaceful, you’ll be waiting forever.

I’m not judging you. I’ve lived this.
I’ve stalled.
I’ve told myself, “I’ll start once things slow down.”
Meanwhile, life kept tossing curveballs, and I was still trying to figure out how to make a dollar behave.

And somewhere in all this, there’s a steady nudge from God that says:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3)

It doesn’t say after you fix everything.
It doesn’t say once everything is organized, clean, and predictable.
It just says: Commit.

Show up as you are.
In the mess.
With the fear.
With the busy schedule.
With the long list of worries.

Because God doesn’t need perfect timing. He just needs willingness.

You might feel like you have too much going on to start fixing your finances.

But imagine how heavy things will feel six months from now if nothing changes.

Imagine being in the exact same spot or even further behind a year from today:
Still overwhelmed, still guessing, still exhausted.

That’s the part we don’t think about enough.

Waiting isn’t neutral.
It costs you peace.
It costs you progress.
It costs you time you can’t get back.

And look, you’re not asking for a yacht.
You’re not trying to impress anybody.
You just want stability.
A future that feels steady.
A home that doesn’t stretch every part of you thin.
A bank account that doesn’t give you heartburn.

You deserve that.
Not someday.
Not “when things settle.”
Now.

And you can get there by starting with small, doable steps that don’t require your whole life to be perfect first.

So if you’re sitting there thinking:

“I’m drowning in decisions.”
or
“I can’t focus on this right now. I have too much going on.”

Let me gently ask:

Isn’t that the exact reason to start now?

Life won’t magically get easier.
But you can get stronger, clearer, and more prepared, one step at a time.

Imagine where you could be next year if you started today.
Imagine looking back thinking, “I’m glad I didn’t wait again.”

And when you’re ready, I’ll walk with you.
We’ll get your finances steadier.
We’ll get your credit where it needs to be.
We’ll get you prepared to buy a home without losing your mind.

Because you’re not too late.
You’re just at a turning point, and it’s time to move forward, not keep waiting for permission from a moment that may never come.

You Didn’t Struggle For Nothing

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Some of the challenges this year felt more like “Lord, are You sure I’m built for this?” moments than “I’m so thankful” moments.
This year might’ve handed you a few struggles you didn’t see coming.
Bills, surprises, decisions, mistakes, lessons — the whole package.

Even so… you’re here. And that says something.

I won’t pretend the tough moments were pleasant. Nobody sits there saying, “Wow, this financial setback is really blessing my spirit today.”
But those same moments changed you in ways comfort never could.

Because it grows you.

As much as we don’t like it, the hard seasons teach us more about money and ourselves than the easy ones ever will.
Nobody learns discipline when the paycheck is overflowing.
No character is built when the bills are light.
And nobody cries out to God for guidance when everything is smooth and easy.

It’s in the struggle that we learn things we wouldn’t have learned any other way.

Being thankful for the lessons doesn’t mean you enjoyed the struggle.

It just means you refused to let it break you.

Maybe this year forced you to take budgeting seriously.
Maybe a financial surprise pushed you to rethink your priorities.
Maybe you had to let go of something you weren’t ready to release.
Or maybe you finally realized you were tired of repeating the same cycle repeatedly.

Whatever your story is, every challenge added something to you: strength, clarity, or courage.

James 1:2–4 says to “count it all joy” when we face trials because those trials shape endurance.
Endurance isn’t pretty, but it will carry you financially further than any “perfect plan” ever will.

The hard stuff teaches:

1. Discipline over impulse

When money is tight, you learn the difference between needs, wants, and “maybe I’ll just walk away before I talk myself into this.”

2. Patience while you wait for better

Waiting for progress teaches you to stop comparing your life to everyone else’s highlight reel.

3. Courage to face your numbers even when they scare you

You learned to open the banking app and check that balance more regularly.
(Yes, your heart raced, but you did it.)

4. Wisdom that keeps you from repeating old mistakes

Nothing will make you wiser than a financial lesson that slapped you once.
You don’t need it slapping you twice.

There’s nothing like a hard-hitting mistake to make you say, “Oh, I’m never doing that again.”

5. Gratitude for the progress you have made

Small wins count.
Tiny steps count.
And survival counts too.

Maybe you didn’t hit every goal, but you’re not where you used to be.
Small steps still move you forward.

As Thanksgiving gets close, take a moment to be thankful, if not for the struggle itself, maybe for the strength it produced.

You’re more aware of your habits.
Your boundaries are clearer.
Your goals make more sense.
And the person you’re becoming is stronger than the person who started this year.

Sometimes God lets us walk through the hard places so we can finally see what we’re capable of and so we stop thinking about money the same old way. Sometimes the struggle is what finally pushes us into real financial change – the kind that lasts, not the kind that fades after three weeks of motivation.

So if this year stretched you… good! Be thankful you’re not who you used to be.
Be thankful for what you learned.
Be thankful that the next version of your life is being built on solid ground.

Be thankful you’re heading into the new year with sharper skills, better habits, and a whole new level of confidence.

Let the credit go to God for carrying you, and let the credit card stay in your wallet while you build on everything you gained.

That’s something to be thankful for.

And if you feel like you’re not quite there yet but would like to be, start the new year strong by scheduling a call with me. It’s free! It’s never too late to get on the right path.

Schedule Here

Are You Throwing the Big Fish Back?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

You’ve probably heard the story about a man fishing by the river. He was catching more fish than anyone else, so people started gathering to see what he was doing differently. But when they watched closely, they got confused. Every time he caught a fish, he pulled out a tape measure. If the fish was smaller than eight inches, he kept it. If it was bigger, he tossed it back into the water.

Someone finally asked him, “Why in the world are you throwing back the big ones?”
The man replied, “Because my frying pan is only eight inches wide.”

Now, most of us would laugh at that, right? But a lot of us are doing the exact same thing with our finances.

We pray for financial blessings. We talk about wanting to save more, earn more, or get out of debt. Yet when opportunity knocks, we throw it right back because it doesn’t fit the size of our current “frying pan.”

Maybe you’ve said things like:

  • “I could never make that much money.”
  • “I’ll always be bad with budgeting.”
  • “People like me don’t get ahead financially.”
  • “I don’t deserve more.”

That’s not reality. That’s our own limiting belief.

You might be asking God to bless your finances, but He’s waiting for you to expand your capacity to receive it. It reminds me of Matthew 25:29, where Jesus says:

“For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

That verse isn’t saying God plays favorites; it’s about stewardship. When we handle what we have well, more comes. But when we let fear or disbelief call the shots, we end up tossing big opportunities back because they don’t fit our comfort zone.

And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not even about lack of opportunity — it’s about our habits. You can’t pray for financial peace and then let Amazon talk you into buying a 3 a.m. “emergency candle holder” because it was on sale.

If that stings a little, I get it. I’ve been there too. We’ve all made financial decisions that made us shake our heads later. But awareness is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • What’s really keeping me from saving more or paying off debt?
  • When did I start believing I wasn’t “good with money”?
  • Who told me I couldn’t have more?

Those thoughts didn’t appear out of nowhere. They came from experiences, family patterns, and sometimes fear. But Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That includes how you think about money.

When you change your beliefs, your behavior follows. Replace “I’ll never get ahead” with “I’m learning how to build stability.” Replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I plan for it?”

The truth is, God can bless you with bigger fish, but you’ve got to be ready to receive them.

So maybe it’s time to stop throwing back the blessings because they don’t fit your current situation. Stretch your faith, adjust your mindset, and grab yourself a bigger frying pan.

Because when you do, you’ll realize the abundance you’ve been praying for has been swimming right in front of you the whole time.

The Hidden Lesson Behind Those Gifts on the Porch

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I remember being a little kid, maybe five or six, coming home one cold winter night with my sister and parents to our tiny house heated by a coal burning stove. It was around Christmas, and we’d been gone all day. When we got back, there were gifts sitting on the back doorstep, one for every single person in the family.

And in my little kid brain, I thought, Wow, Santa really outdid himself this year! I remember feeling so happy, so excited. It felt magical.

What I didn’t understand then, and what hit me a lot later, was that those gifts weren’t from Santa. They were from people in town who knew we didn’t have much that year. People who quietly showed up to make sure we still had a Christmas.

And I’ll be honest, when I figured that out as an adult, it hit hard. Because that’s when I realized… we were probably the poorest family in town.

Now, as a kid, you don’t think much about money. You just know what you have and what you don’t. But growing up with that kind of experience, it stuck with me. It planted this belief deep down that not having money meant something about me. That if I wasn’t doing well financially, I was somehow “less than.”

And for a long time, I carried that into adulthood.

If I wasn’t making enough money, I felt embarrassed. If someone asked how much I made or what I did for work, I’d tense up a little. Even when I started doing okay, there was still this fear in the back of my mind that it could all disappear, that I might end up back on that porch, being the family that needed someone else to show up for them.

That kind of shame can run deep. It shows up in the way you spend, the way you save, even in the way you talk about money. You might feel guilty for having it, or guilty for not having enough of it. And the truth is, neither one feels good.

It took me years to unlearn that. To realize that my worth has nothing to do with my income. That money isn’t good or bad. It’s just a tool. And when you know how to use it, it can give you options, peace, and the freedom to help others the way someone once helped my family.

That night, those mystery gifts on the doorstep, they taught me a lot more than I realized at the time. They taught me about kindness, about quiet generosity, and about what it feels like to be on the receiving end of grace.

Now, when I think about money, I think about that balance between giving and receiving, between being smart with what you have and being grateful for what you’ve been given.

And I think maybe that’s something we all need to remember. You can grow up poor, make mistakes, feel shame, and still learn how to create a healthy relationship with money.

We need to learn being broke isn’t permanent. But the lessons it teaches you about resilience, about gratitude, about empathy – those can change your life forever.

If you’d like some tips and tricks on dealing with holiday spending or personal finance all year round, follow me on any social media platform.

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And if you’d like to schedule a free call with me, go here– https://tulincu.com/