You’ve Tried Everything. So Why Are You Still Anxious About Money?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Have you ever reached a point where you just feel like giving up? You know how hard you’ve tried.

You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, and taken the advice. You’ve tried to get your life and finances organized. Maybe you’ve created a budget, cut back on spending, and made a plan to pay off debt or build up your savings.

You’ve done what you’re supposed to do and yet, you still worry about money.

Maybe you check your bank account even though you checked it yesterday. Maybe you lie in bed thinking about bills, unexpected expenses, and everything that could go wrong. Maybe you have money in savings, but instead of feeling secure, you’re worried about how quickly it could disappear.

Or maybe your financial situation really has improved. You’re making decent money. You’re paying your bills. You’re doing better than you were a few years ago.

So why can’t you relax?

Maybe you’ve even gone to therapy to work through some of the things that cause you anxiety. You’ve learned strategies to manage stress, and you’ve tried putting them into practice. But that familiar feeling keeps coming back. And after a while, you start wondering if this is just how life is going to be.

Am I always going to worry about money? Is there something I’m missing? Why can’t I get this under control?

And if you’re a Christian, there might be another layer to all of this. Because you’ve prayed about it, too.

You’ve taken your worries to God. You’ve prayed for peace. You’ve asked Him to help you trust Him more and stop being so afraid about the future.

Maybe you’ve read scriptures about worry and anxiety. You’ve reminded yourself that God provides, that He knows what you need, and that you don’t have to carry tomorrow’s troubles today. And you believe all of those things.

But then another bill arrives. Your car needs a repair. You think about retirement, your kids, your mortgage, or what would happen if you lost your job.

And there it is again. That familiar knot in your stomach. That heaviness in your chest. That desperate feeling that you need to figure everything out right now.

Then, on top of the anxiety, you start feeling guilty.

Why am I still worrying when I know God is in control?

Why can’t I just trust Him?

Have I not prayed enough? Is my faith not strong enough?

And maybe, somewhere along the way, you begin to wonder if God is disappointed in you. Or worse, if you’re being punished for something.

Now you’re not just anxious about money. You’re questioning yourself, your faith, and your relationship with God. That’s a lot to deal with.

But, I want you to consider something. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’ve failed God. And continuing to struggle with anxiety doesn’t mean you haven’t prayed hard enough. Faith doesn’t mean we never feel afraid. And prayer isn’t a test we pass by becoming perfectly calm afterward.

You can trust God and still have anxious thoughts. You can believe in His provision and still feel afraid when the bills pile up. You can pray for peace and still need help understanding why your body and mind keep responding to life with so much worry. Those things can exist together.

And I think sometimes we make an already difficult situation even harder when we believe we should be able to pray our way out of every uncomfortable feeling.

What if, instead of judging ourselves for still feeling anxious, we became curious about what might be going on beneath the surface because there may be more to your anxiety than you realize.

What If Your Anxiety Isn’t Just About What’s Happening Today?

Let’s think about this for a minute.

Maybe you grew up in a home where money was always tight. You watched your parents worry about bills, argue about finances, or go without things other people seemed to take for granted.

Maybe you remember hearing that there wasn’t enough money, even when you were too young to understand what that really meant.

Or maybe your financial worries came later. You went through a divorce. You lost a job. You experienced a financial crisis that turned your world upside down. Maybe you spent years being the person who had to hold everything together because there wasn’t anyone else to do it.

When you’ve lived through uncertainty, especially for a long time, it can be difficult to feel secure again even when your circumstances change.

You might have more money now than you’ve ever had, but you still worry about losing it. You might have savings in the bank, but you can’t stop thinking about everything that could happen to wipe them out.

You might be doing all the right things financially, but you still feel as though you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Why?

Because sometimes, understanding something intellectually doesn’t automatically change how we respond to it emotionally or physically.

You can tell yourself you’re okay. You can look at the numbers and see that the bills are covered. You can remind yourself that you’re in a better position than you were five years ago but your body may still react as though danger is just around the corner. Your heart races. Your shoulders tighten. Your breathing changes. Your stomach knots up.

You feel the urge to check your account again, run the numbers one more time, or find some way to make absolutely certain nothing can go wrong. And even after you’ve done all that, you still don’t feel at peace.

What if your body has learned to expect danger, even when your present circumstances don’t call for the same level of alarm?

That doesn’t mean your financial concerns aren’t real. Sometimes we have very good reasons to be worried about money, and those situations deserve practical solutions. But sometimes, our reactions are also shaped by what we’ve experienced in the past and what we’ve learned to expect. And that’s something worth exploring.

And now you’re thinking “I Already Have a Budget!” I know. And I believe in budgeting.

As a financial coach, I want you to understand how to direct your spending, make informed decisions, and have a plan that supports the life you’re living. But I’ve become increasingly interested in the space between knowing what to do and actually feeling okay while doing it because those are two different things.

You can have a budget and still panic when an unexpected expense comes up. You can pay off your credit cards and still be afraid you’ll end up right back where you started. You can make good money and still feel guilty buying something for yourself. You can build an emergency fund and still feel as though it will never be enough.

And you can do everything your financial adviser, your friends, and all those personal finance experts tell you to do, yet still find yourself lying awake at night worrying.

What happens when more financial information isn’t what you need most? What happens when you’ve already learned the strategies, but the fear is still there?

Maybe it’s time to look beyond the numbers. I don’t mean stop working on your finances, but adding alongside that work because your relationship with money isn’t just about the decisions you make. It’s also about the feelings, experiences, beliefs, and reactions that come with those decisions. And some of those reactions may be happening before you’ve even had a chance to think things through.

This Is Where Somatics Comes In

Somatics is an approach that helps us pay attention to the connection between our bodies and our internal experiences.

In simple terms, it invites us to notice what’s happening in our bodies, particularly when we’re experiencing stress, fear, or other strong emotions.

Think about the last time you opened a bill you weren’t expecting. Before you even knew how much you owed, did your stomach tighten? Did you hold your breath? Did you immediately start thinking about everything else that could go wrong? Or think about checking your bank account. Maybe you know you have enough money to cover your bills, but you still feel that little rush of anxiety when you open the app.

What if you paused for a moment and noticed what was happening inside you? Not to tell yourself you shouldn’t feel that way. And not to pretend that the bill doesn’t need to be paid.

Just to notice.

Somatic approaches can help people develop greater awareness of these physical stress responses and practice ways of responding to them. For some people, that may become a valuable part of working through persistent anxiety. It’s not a magic fix, and it doesn’t replace practical financial planning or mental health care when those are needed. But it offers another place to begin.

Instead of spending all your energy trying to convince yourself not to worry, you can start exploring how you experience that worry and what might help you respond differently.

You don’t have to choose between understanding your finances and understanding yourself. Both matter.

I want to come back to something for a moment, especially if you’re a Christian who has been beating yourself up because you still struggle with anxiety.

We sometimes treat anxiety as though it’s evidence that we’re not trusting God enough.

But what if we approached it differently?

What if you could bring your worries to God without feeling ashamed that you have them in the first place? What if you could pray for peace and also seek help understanding why certain situations make you so anxious?

What if learning to recognize your stress responses, working with a therapist, getting support from a financial coach, or exploring somatic practices could all be part of caring for yourself?

Seeking help doesn’t mean you’ve stopped trusting God. And you don’t have to earn His love by becoming someone who never worries.

I think there’s a difference between acknowledging that we cannot control everything and expecting ourselves never to feel afraid of the things we cannot control.

We are human. Life happens. Unexpected things happen. Sometimes the experiences we’ve lived through leave us feeling less secure than we’d like to be.

We can pray, trust, plan, learn, and ask for help along the way.

We can be faithful and still be a work in progress.

And we can give ourselves a little grace while we figure things out.

What If You Don’t Have to Keep Fighting Yourself?

If you’ve been anxious about money for years, you may have started to believe that this is simply who you are. Maybe you tell yourself you’re just a worrier. Maybe you assume you’ll never feel comfortable with money, no matter how much you earn or how carefully you plan.

But what if you haven’t explored every part of the picture yet?

What if the next step is learning to understand your response to money? You’ve already spent so much time trying to solve the financial problem that you haven’t had the opportunity to explore everything that comes up inside you when you think about it.

This is one of the reasons I’m interested in bringing somatic approaches into my work alongside financial coaching. I’m curious about what becomes possible when we pay attention not only to the money itself, but also to the stress and emotions that can surround it.

The goal isn’t simply to have your bills paid and your savings account growing. It’s also to build a financial life that gives you room to breathe, make decisions with greater confidence, and experience more peace along the way.

You may not be able to eliminate every financial worry. None of us can predict the future. But maybe you can learn to respond to uncertainty without feeling as though you have to live in a constant state of alarm.

And if you’ve been trying so hard for so long, I hope you’ll consider that possibility.

You don’t have to assume that because you’ve tried so many things, nothing will ever help.

Maybe there’s another piece of the puzzle you haven’t explored yet.

So here’s the question I’d like you to think about:

When you worry about money, are you responding only to what’s happening in your finances today? Or could some of that fear be connected to what you’ve experienced, what you’ve learned to expect, and what your body has come to associate with money?

You don’t have to know the answer right now.

Sometimes, simply asking a different question is where a different kind of understanding begins.

You Paid Off Your Debt. So Why Are You Back Here Again?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Remember how good it felt when you finally paid off your credit cards?

You did it! After months of working hard, cutting back, and sending every extra dollar you could find toward those balances, you finally saw zeros where there used to be hundreds or thousands of dollars.

You could breathe again.

Maybe you even promised yourself you’d never let it get that bad again.

And you meant it.

But then life started happening.

You put a few things on a credit card because you knew you could pay them off next month. Then your car needed repairs. The kids needed something. Groceries cost more than you expected, and somehow, there was less money left at the end of the month than you thought there would be.

You told yourself you’d get caught up next month.

Except next month came with its own expenses.

Before you knew it, you were carrying a balance again.

At first, you weren’t too worried. You’d paid off your cards before. You knew what it took. You’d just have to buckle down, cut back, and work a little harder.

And you did.

You sacrificed. You made payments. You watched the balances come down, and eventually, you paid them off again.

There. I knew I could do it.

But here you are, maybe a year later, looking at those credit card statements and wondering how on earth you’re back in the same situation.

Only this time, it feels different.

Your car broke down, and you had to replace it. An unexpected expense landed in your lap. Maybe there were medical bills, home repairs, or a change in your family’s circumstances.

You didn’t plan for these things to happen. You weren’t trying to get yourself into trouble.

Life just got expensive.

And now you’re looking at your debt, wondering how you’re going to get out from under it again.

Maybe There’s a Better Way This Time

You’re tired of this cycle.

You’re tired of watching your balances climb, working hard to pay them off, and then watching them climb again.

You don’t want to spend another year sacrificing everything just to get back to zero.

So you start looking at your options.

What about debt consolidation? One payment instead of several. Maybe a lower interest rate? That sounds like it could help!

Or maybe you’ve built up equity in your home. You could take out a home equity loan, pay off those credit cards, and finally get some breathing room.

You start running the numbers. The monthly payment looks manageable. The credit cards could be paid off. You could start fresh.

And you think, I’ve done this twice already. I know how to pay off debt. I just need a little help getting back on track.

It sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? You’ve been here before. You know how hard you can work when you set your mind to something.

But I want you to consider something before you sign those papers. What if the problem isn’t that you haven’t found the right way to pay off your debt?

What if there’s something about the way you’re managing your money that you haven’t figured out yet? What If You’re Solving the Wrong Problem?

Think about it for a minute.

When you paid off your credit cards the first time, did you figure out why you needed them in the first place? Did you know whether your income was enough to cover your actual lifestyle, including the expenses that don’t show up every month? Did you have money set aside for the next car repair, medical bill, or unexpected expense?

Or were you simply relieved to have the balances gone and ready to move on?

Maybe you did make a budget. Maybe you gave every dollar a job. Maybe you tracked your spending and followed your plan. But somehow, the money still didn’t seem to stretch as far as you expected.

Maybe you were covering the regular bills but relying on credit cards whenever something unexpected happened.

Maybe your income looked good on paper, but between your mortgage, groceries, insurance, car payments, and everything else, there wasn’t much left.

And maybe you haven’t stopped to look at the whole picture because you’ve been so busy trying to get the debt paid off. Because you can be very good at paying off debt and still not understand why you keep going back into it.

And now you’re thinking about putting your house on the line.

Let’s come back to that home equity loan for a moment.

You’re looking at it because you want relief. You want to get those balances off your back. You want to stop worrying about how you’re going to make the payments.

And if you’ve paid off your debt before, it’s easy to believe that this time will be different.

After all, you know better now. You’ve been through this. You’ve learned your lesson.

But have you?

I don’t ask that to make you feel bad. I ask because it’s an important question when your home could be part of the equation.

If you move your credit card debt into a loan secured by your home but your monthly expenses still exceed your income, what happens when the next unexpected expense comes along?

If you haven’t built a plan for those expenses, where will the money come from?

And if you pay off the credit cards but start using them again because you still don’t have enough money to cover everything, where will that leave you?

You could find yourself with a home equity loan to repay and new credit card balances building up all over again. Now, instead of feeling relief, you’re carrying even more financial pressure.

Debt consolidation and home equity loans can have a place in a financial plan. But neither one automatically fixes the circumstances or habits that caused the debt to accumulate.

And putting your home at risk deserves more than the hope that things will work out this time.

What If You Stopped Trying to Work Harder and Started Looking Deeper?

You’ve already proved that you can work hard. You’ve proved that you can sacrifice, make payments, and accomplish a difficult goal.

Maybe what you need now isn’t another year of cutting everything out of your life to get those balances back to zero. Maybe you need to understand why your money keeps taking you back to the same place.

That means asking yourself some different questions.

Does my income actually cover the life I’m living?

Do I have a realistic plan for expenses that don’t happen every month?

Do I know where my money goes, beyond the mortgage, bills, and other obvious expenses?

Are there patterns in my spending that I haven’t paid attention to?

Am I using credit cards to cover emergencies, everyday shortfalls, or things I could afford only if I borrowed the money?

And perhaps the most important question of all:

If I paid off every credit card tomorrow, would I know how to keep them paid off?

Once you can answer that, you’d know what your money needs to cover. You’d understand where you’re vulnerable. You’d have a better idea of what needs to change before the next unexpected expense arrives. You’d be making decisions based on understanding, rather than crossing your fingers and hoping this time will be different.

Before You Make Your Next Move…

Maybe you’re reading this and recognizing yourself.

You’ve paid off the cards before. You’ve promised yourself you wouldn’t go back. And now you’re considering consolidation or a home equity loan because you just want to get out of this mess.

I understand why that sounds appealing.

But before you move the debt, take a step back and look at the bigger picture because the goal isn’t just to pay off your debt one more time. It’s to get to a place where you’re no longer repeating the same cycle, wondering how you ended up here again.

You deserve more than temporary relief. You deserve to understand your money well enough to make decisions that support the life you want to live.

So let me leave you with this question:

Are you making a plan to change your financial future, or are you hoping that paying off your debt one more time will somehow change it for you?

Are You Buying An Image?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Have you ever bought something and thought, “This is so me.”

Maybe it was a beautiful piece of clothing. A new piece of furniture. A nicer car. A membership. Maybe even something as simple as a $38 eyeliner that made you feel like the person you wanted to be that morning.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending money on things you enjoy.

But I’ve been thinking about something lately.

How much of what we buy is really about enhancing ourselves, and how much is about becoming who we think other people think we should be?

Those two things can look remarkably similar on a bank statement.

You might buy the expensive workout membership because health is genuinely important to you.

Or maybe, somewhere underneath that decision, you like the idea of being the kind of person who belongs to that gym.

You might buy the beautiful clothes because you love fashion.

Or maybe you want to walk into a room and feel like you finally look as successful as you feel you should be.

You might upgrade your home because you’ve worked hard and you genuinely enjoy having beautiful things.

Or maybe you’re thinking about what other people will say when they walk into your perfectly decorated home.

See, you may be able to afford every single purchase, but that doesn’t necessarily mean every purchase is aligned with who you are.

So yeah, maybe you can afford it, but do you really want it? Because your bank account doesn’t just record what you bought. Over time, it can reveal what you’re trying to feel, who you’re trying to become, and sometimes even whose approval you’re trying to earn.

So how do you know the difference?

Start paying attention to what happens inside you before you spend.

Do you feel excited because something genuinely brings you joy? Do you feel proud because you’ve reached a place in your life where you can finally enjoy something you once couldn’t afford?

Or do you feel a little anxious?

Do you find yourself thinking about what someone else will think? Maybe you’re imagining how you’ll look wearing it, driving it, posting it, or talking about it.

Maybe you’re hoping the purchase will make you feel more successful, more attractive, healthier, more interesting, more confident, or simply… enough. For the record, none of that makes you shallow.

We’re human. We want to belong. We want to feel good about ourselves. We want our outside lives to reflect the person we believe ourselves to be. But sometimes we can spend a surprising amount of money trying to prove something that didn’t need proving in the first place.

So the next time you’re about to make a purchase, pause for just a moment and ask yourself:

Would I still want this if nobody else ever saw it?

Would I still buy it if I couldn’t post about it?

Would I still want it if nobody knew what it cost?

And most importantly:

Is this purchase enhancing who I already am, or am I hoping it will help me become someone I think I need to be?

There is a big difference because your money doesn’t have to build an image of you. But it can build a life that actually feels like you.

Maybe that means spending generously on the things that truly matter to you.

Maybe it means saying no to things that look impressive but don’t bring you much joy.

Maybe it means keeping the perfectly good car, skipping the upgrade, wearing the clothes you already love, or choosing the vacation that means something to you instead of the one that looks impressive on Instagram.

And maybe it means giving yourself permission to stop proving.

You don’t have to buy success to be successful.

You don’t have to look wealthy to have financial security.

You don’t have to own the right things to become the right person.

You get to decide who you are before you decide what you’re going to spend.

And when your spending begins with that decision, your money has a much better chance of supporting the life you actually want instead of funding the life you think everyone else expects you to have.

So the next time you reach for your wallet, don’t just ask, “Can I afford it?”

Ask: “Is this really me?”

When Feeling Good Starts Costing You More Than You Realize

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If you make more than $100,000 a year, you’d probably expect to feel pretty comfortable, right?

You have a good income. You pay your bills. You’re not out there buying $300 worth of clothes every time you have a bad day. You’re not making huge, impulsive purchases that you know you can’t afford.

So why does it feel like there’s never enough money at the end of the month?

You sit down and create a budget. You account for the housing, utilities, groceries, insurance, savings, gas, subscriptions and everything else you can think of.

You give every dollar a job. And yet you’re still coming up short. Or maybe you aren’t technically short, but there is very little left over.

You look at the numbers and think, where is all my money going?

This is where I think it’s worth looking a little deeper because sometimes the problem isn’t that you’re spending frivolously. It’s that you’re spending consistently.

Maybe every month there are massages. Maybe you get your nails done. Maybe there are wellness programs, supplements, memberships, treatments, classes or other things you’ve decided are important to your well-being.

And individually, none of these purchases seem unreasonable.

In fact, they’re easy to justify.

“I work hard.”

“I deserve this.”

“This is self-care.”

“It’s good for me.”

And maybe it is. Self-care matters. Doing things that make you feel good isn’t inherently a problem.

But what if you started asking a different question?

Not just, “Do I enjoy it?”

But…What am I hoping this will change for me?

There is a difference. And sometimes it’s a really important difference.

Because you can have a six-figure income and still use money to manage emotions you haven’t dealt with.

You can spend money on things that look completely healthy and responsible on the outside while something very different is happening underneath.

Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe you’re overwhelmed.

Maybe you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else and don’t know what it feels like to take care of yourself without buying something.

Maybe your life changed and you’re trying to figure out who you are now.

Maybe you’re constantly chasing that little feeling of relief. And every time you find something that gives you a little bit of it, you do it again.

Another appointment.

Another program.

Another treatment.

Another thing that promises to help you feel better, look better, be better or finally get your life together.

And because each purchase makes sense on its own, you never really see the pattern until you look at the whole picture.

That’s when the questions get more uncomfortable.

What if a lack of money isn’t the real problem?

What if your spending is telling you something?

That’s where financial coaching can become about so much more than a budget. Because I can help you put numbers on a spreadsheet all day long. But, if your spending is meeting an emotional need, a budget alone isn’t going to solve the problem.

You can make the perfect budget on paper and still find yourself spending money in the same places month after month because the spending is doing a job.

And until you understand what that job is, it’s really difficult to change the pattern.

That’s where the real work begins.

Not with cutting out every massage or telling yourself you can’t get your nails done. And definitely not with making your life miserable in the name of saving money.

But with getting curious about your money, your choices, your emotions, and about what you’re really trying to create with all that spending.

Because sometimes the thing you’re trying to buy isn’t the massage. It isn’t the manicure. And it isn’t the wellness program.

It’s the feeling you hope that comes with it.

And that is a very different conversation.

Maybe it’s time to start having it.

What Are You Putting Off?

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Procrastination is one of those things we all know about, and most of us have probably been guilty of it at one time or another. I know I have. There are things in life that I know need to be done, but somehow, I can find ten other things that suddenly seem much more important. Sometimes it is something as simple as cleaning out a closet or making a phone call. Other times, it is something that carries a little more weight, like making a difficult decision, having a conversation we have been avoiding, or finally dealing with something that has been hanging over our heads.

The funny thing about procrastination is that we usually know exactly what we are doing. We tell ourselves we will get to it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, and we decide we will do it next week. Before we know it, weeks or even months have passed, and the thing we have been avoiding is still sitting there.

I have been thinking about how often we do this with our money.

Maybe you know you need to sit down and really look at where your money is going each month, but you keep putting it off. You may already have a pretty good idea that you are spending more than you want to, but you don’t want to see the actual numbers. Maybe you have credit card balances that have been bothering you for a while, but opening the statements makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps you have been telling yourself that you will start saving when things settle down, or that you will figure out a budget after the next paycheck.

And somehow, the next paycheck keeps coming.

This is where I think procrastination gets interesting. Sometimes we aren’t actually avoiding the task. We are avoiding the feeling we think will come with doing the task.

Looking at your finances may bring up anxiety. It may bring guilt or frustration. You may be disappointed in yourself because you thought you would be further along by now. You may be afraid of what you will discover once you start adding everything up. Or maybe you simply don’t know where to start, so it feels easier to do nothing than to sit down and try to figure it all out.

So we avoid it.

And for a little while, that feels better.

We don’t have to think about the credit card balance. We don’t have to make a decision. We don’t have to admit that the way we are spending money isn’t really working anymore. We can go on with our day and pretend that we will deal with it later.

The problem is that later usually comes.

And whatever we were avoiding is still waiting for us.

Sometimes it has even grown.

The balance is a little higher. Another bill has been added. Another month has gone by without saving. Another purchase has been made that we really didn’t need. Another paycheck has disappeared without us feeling like we have much to show for it.

Then we wonder why money feels so stressful.

I don’t think the answer is always that we need more discipline or a better budget. Sometimes we need to understand what is happening underneath the behavior.

What are we actually avoiding?

That is a much more interesting question.

Maybe looking at your money brings up feelings you don’t particularly want to deal with. Maybe spending has become a way to make yourself feel better, and getting serious about your finances means you might have to find another way to get that feeling.

Maybe you are afraid that if you really look at everything, you will have to make some changes. And change can be uncomfortable, even when we know the change is good for us.

I have experienced enough changes in my own life to know that sometimes we hold onto things simply because they are familiar. Even when familiar isn’t working particularly well.

Money can be the same way.

We can get into patterns of spending, saving, avoiding, ignoring and starting over. We promise ourselves that this month will be different, and then life happens. Something unexpected comes up. We get tired. We have a stressful week. We buy something because we deserve it. We tell ourselves we’ll make up for it next month.

Then next month looks a lot like the one before it.

If that sounds familiar, I don’t think the answer is to beat yourself up over it. Shame rarely creates the kind of lasting change we are looking for. I think the better place to start is with curiosity.

Instead of asking, “Why can’t I get this together?” ask yourself, “What am I avoiding?”

What happens inside you when you think about looking at your bank account? What do you feel when you think about paying off debt? What are you hoping a purchase will make you feel? What decision have you been putting off because you aren’t sure what the right answer is?

Those questions can tell us a lot because sometimes the behavior we see on the outside is only part of the story.

And this is especially true when life has changed.

Divorce, an empty nest, a career change, the loss of a spouse, a new marriage, starting over in a completely different season of life — these things can change much more than our circumstances. They can change how we see ourselves, what we need, what we want and even what we believe will make us happy.

Sometimes our spending changes right along with us.

We buy things because we are trying to create comfort. We spend because we are trying to feel successful. We shop because we are bored or lonely or exhausted. We spend because our old life no longer feels like our life, and we are trying to figure out what the new one is supposed to look like.

Then we wonder why the money isn’t working.

Maybe the first step isn’t another budget.

Maybe it is slowing down long enough to ask ourselves some better questions.

What am I putting off?

What am I afraid I will find if I finally deal with it?

What am I hoping my money will give me that money can’t actually provide?

And perhaps most importantly, what would change if I stopped waiting for the perfect time to deal with it?

You don’t have to fix everything at once. You don’t even have to know exactly what the finished picture looks like.

You just have to be willing to stop avoiding the first thing.

Because sometimes the biggest change in our finances begins with something much smaller than a new budget or a bigger paycheck.

Sometimes it begins with finally being willing to look.

A Different Kind of Wealth

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I brought my dad lunch and visited with him for a while the other day. After giving him his food, I sat down to complete his menu for the coming week while he began telling stories about “the good ol’ days.”

I’ve heard these stories countless times, but I still listen. I still laugh along with him. Because these stories are part of who he is, and I want to keep hearing them for as long as he wants to tell them.

See, my dad has Alzheimer’s.

You probably wouldn’t realize it during your first few visits. Even after all these years of living with the disease, he’s still pretty cognizant, and having a normal conversation with him is easy. He can tell you stories from his childhood, his younger years, and the places he’s been.

You might not catch on until you’ve heard the same story for the 30th time. Sometimes more than once during a single visit.

As he told his stories that day, some making him smile and others bringing a tear to his eye, I found myself thinking about the life he remembers.

He has lived through so many changes. Technology, conveniences, and advancements that would have been unimaginable when he was young are now part of everyday life.

And yet, when he talks about the times he remembers most fondly, they often seem to be the simplest ones.

The times when life may have been harder, but something about it felt different.

There is appreciation in his stories. Purpose. Community.

And food.

He still talks about the best chili he ever ate. It was in a small-town diner in North Dakota, a little place with floors so clean you could eat off them. He remembers how the servers somehow kept their uniforms bright white and completely unstained.

He remembers details that might seem insignificant to someone else, but to him, they were part of what made that place special.

Then there are the summer evenings.

When the heat settled in, the neighbors would gather at one house or another. The women would be in the kitchen, cooking and laughing, while the only fan in the house pushed what little cool air it could through the rooms.

The smell of food would drift outside, where the men gathered. Maybe they were playing a yard game. Maybe they were just standing around, drinking a beer, laughing, and talking.

Eventually, everyone would come together to share the food.

The evening would stretch on until the women headed outside to cool off, and the men stayed inside to clean the kitchen. Then, somehow, everyone would gather around the table again, squeezing in together to play board games until late into the night.

Nothing fancy.

Just people, food, laughter, and time spent together.

As I listened to my dad tell these stories, I started thinking about how much our lives have changed. We have more conveniences, more choices, and more ways to spend our time and money than the generations before us could have imagined.

And yet, so many of the things he remembers most fondly had very little to do with what people owned.

They had to do with how people lived.

They gathered around tables. They shared food. They knew their neighbors. They found ways to enjoy an evening without needing to spend money to make it special.

There was purpose in the work, appreciation for what they had, and a sense of community that seems harder to find these days.

That doesn’t mean life was perfect back then. It wasn’t. People had their struggles, and many things were harder than they are today. But listening to my dad reminded me that having more doesn’t always mean feeling more fulfilled.

And that got me thinking about something I see in my financial coaching practice.

I see so many people who are searching for something. They may not be able to tell you exactly what it is, but they know they want to feel different.

Sometimes it’s comfort. Sometimes it’s happiness, excitement, security, or a sense of being valued.

And sometimes, without even realizing it, they turn to spending money to find it.

A new outfit might make them feel confident for a little while. A purchase for the house might give them something to look forward to. A shopping trip might provide a much-needed escape from a difficult day.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying those things. Spending money on something you want can be a perfectly healthy part of life.

But there is a difference between spending because something genuinely adds value to your life and spending because you’re hoping it will fill a feeling that has been missing.

That difference matters.

Especially when life changes.

A divorce can leave you trying to figure out who you are outside of a marriage. Becoming an empty nester can leave a quiet house where there used to be noise, activity, and a sense of being needed. Retirement can change your daily routine and your sense of purpose. A career change can leave you wondering whether you made the right decision.

Even when these changes are ones you wanted, they can still bring unexpected emotions.

And when you’re trying to adjust to a new chapter, spending can sometimes feel like a small way to regain control, create comfort, or remind yourself that you still deserve something good.

The problem is that the feeling doesn’t always last.

The purchase arrives. The excitement fades. And whatever longing that was underneath it is still there.

So you spend again.

Over time, those purchases can begin to affect your finances in ways you never intended. Your credit card balances grow. Your savings get used up. You make more money, but somehow there never seems to be enough left at the end of the month.

And you may find yourself wondering, “Where is all my money going?”

That is a question worth exploring, not just with a calculator, but with a little curiosity about what is happening in your life.

Because sometimes money becomes what you use to try to feel something else.

Something that used to come from connection, purpose, security, or simply feeling content with your life.

My dad’s stories reminded me that those things don’t have to come from having the newest, biggest, or best of everything.

Sometimes they come from a clean little diner in North Dakota, a kitchen full of laughter, or a table surrounded by people who are glad you’re there.

And sometimes, finding your way back to those things can change more than your spending.

It can change the way you feel about your life, your money, and what you really want your next chapter to look like.

Before We Blame the Budget, Let’s Look at the Why

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

You know those nights when you’ve just had enough?

You’ve been going all day.

You’re tired.

Your brain is tired.

Your patience is tired.

You go grocery shopping, and all you can think about is getting home.

You unload the groceries.

You put some of them away.

And then you order a pizza.

Wait.

Didn’t we just go grocery shopping?

Yes.

Yes, we did.

There is literally food in the refrigerator.

But we don’t care.

Because tonight, we’re done.

We don’t want to cook.

We don’t want to think about what to cook.

We don’t want another decision.

We just want someone to bring us a pizza.

So we order it.

And maybe a little treat to go with it.

Then we sit down on the couch.

Finally.

We can relax.

We turn on the television and start scrolling through the streaming services.

Netflix.

Hulu.

Amazon Prime.

Disney+.

Whatever else we’re paying for this month.

And somehow, after scrolling through all of them, we decide there is absolutely nothing to watch.

So what do we do?

We pay $20 for a movie.

A movie we could have probably watched on one of the four streaming services we’re already paying for if we’d had the patience to look long enough.

But we don’t.

Because tonight isn’t really about the movie.

And it probably wasn’t really about the pizza either.

See, sometimes we’re not spending money because we want something.

We’re spending money because we want to feel something different. Or feel nothing at all.

We want the day to be over.

We want our brain to shut up for a minute.

We want to be taken care of.

We want something easy.

We want comfort.

We want a reward for making it through the day.

And sometimes spending money is the quickest way we know how to get there.

That’s the part of our spending that can be really hard to see.

Because when we look at the bank account, all we see is:

Pizza.

Treat.

Movie.

$20 here.

$15 there.

And we think:

“Why am I always spending so much money?”

But maybe a better question is:

“What was I really looking for when I spent that money?”

One of my clients had a moment like this recently.

She had gone grocery shopping.

She had food in the house.

And then she ordered pizza.

Then she bought another treat.

Then she got home, sat on the couch and spent $20 on a movie even though she already had multiple streaming services.

And instead of just brushing it off, she stopped.

She looked at what she’d done.

And she asked herself:

“Why did I do that?”

That question was the breakthrough because she finally became curious about her own behavior.

Instead of saying:

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

She asked:

“Why did I?”

That’s a very different question.

How often do we do things with our money without really knowing why?

We buy something because we’re stressed.

We order dinner because we’re exhausted.

We go shopping because we’re bored.

We buy something new because we need a little excitement.

We treat ourselves because we’ve had a hard week.

We spend because we feel like we deserve something.

We buy something because everyone else seems to have it.

We shop when we’re lonely.

We spend when we’re celebrating.

We spend when we’re sad.

We spend when we’re angry.

Heck, sometimes we spend when we’re just having a Tuesday.

And most of the time, we don’t stop to ask ourselves what’s really happening.

We just swipe.

Click.

Order.

Done.

Until the credit card bill shows up.

And then we’re staring at the statement wondering how we managed to spend that much money.

But one thing I do know; our spending usually makes sense to us in the moment.

That’s why telling ourselves, “I just need to stop spending so much” doesn’t always work.

Because in the moment, the spending is solving something.

Maybe not a financial problem.

An emotional one.

The pizza solves the problem of being too tired to cook.

The shopping trip solves the problem of boredom.

The new purse gives us a little excitement.

The Amazon package gives us something to look forward to.

The $20 movie gives us two hours where we don’t have to think about the day we just had or some other situation we’re dealing with.

And for a little while…it works.

That’s what makes it so easy to repeat.

But what happens when the feeling wears off?

The pizza is gone.

The treat is gone.

The movie ends.

The package arrives.

The excitement fades.

And we’re left with the same stress.

The same exhaustion.

The same loneliness.

The same problems.

Except now we’ve spent money too.

And that’s when we start beating ourselves up.

“I have got to get better with money.”

“I don’t know why I do this.”

“I need more discipline.”

“I can’t seem to stick to a budget.”

Maybe.

But maybe we need to look a little deeper.

Because if we’re using money to make ourselves feel better, then the problem isn’t simply that we’re spending too much.

We’re asking our money to do a job it was never designed to do.

Money can buy comfort.

But it can’t create peace.

It can buy dinner.

But it can’t fix exhaustion.

It can buy something beautiful.

But it can’t fix insecurity.

It can buy entertainment.

But it can’t make us happy when we’re unhappy with our lives.

It can give us a temporary escape.

But eventually, we have to come back.

And sometimes that little escape costs us a lot more than we realize.

Not just financially.

So what if we stopped judging ourselves long enough to get curious?

The next time we find ourselves making one of those purchases that makes us think, “Why did I buy that?”, let’s pause.

Not to shame ourselves.

Just to notice.

Ask:

What was I feeling right before I bought it?

Was I tired?

Stressed?

Bored?

Lonely?

Overwhelmed?

Was I looking for a reward?

Was I trying to escape my day?

Was I trying to make myself feel better?

Was I trying to fill some empty space?

And then ask:

What did I expect this purchase to do for me?

That’s the question I really want us to start asking.

Because sometimes the answer has very little to do with the thing we’re buying.

And maybe that’s where our financial breakthrough starts.

Not with another budget.

Not with cutting every little pleasure out of our lives.

Not with deciding we’re never ordering pizza again.

Because let’s be honest. Sometimes we just want pizza.

And I’m not taking that away from anybody.

The goal isn’t to make ourselves miserable in the name of financial responsibility.

The goal is to understand ourselves well enough that we are making the decision instead of the emotion making it for us.

There’s a difference between:

“I don’t feel like cooking tonight, and I have room in my budget, so I’m ordering pizza.”

and:

“I’ve had a horrible day and I don’t want to deal with anything else, so I’m ordering pizza, a treat, and a $20 movie because I just want to check out for a while.”

From the outside, those purchases look almost identical.

But they’re not. One is a choice. The other is a coping mechanism.

And if we don’t recognize the difference, we can spend a whole lot of money trying to feel better.

That $20 movie might have been the best $20 my client ever spent.

Not because the movie was great.

She doesn’t even remember much about it.

But because it made her stop. It made her notice. It made her ask the question.

“Why did I do that?”

And once we start asking ourselves that question without judgment, we start seeing things differently.

We begin to notice our patterns.

We notice what triggers our spending.

We notice the stories we tell ourselves.

We notice when we’re using money as a reward.

We notice when we’re using it as an escape.

We notice when we’re buying something because we genuinely want it…

and when we’re buying something because we desperately want to feel different.

And that awareness is powerful.

Because we can’t change what we refuse to look at.

So tonight, if you find yourself standing in the kitchen staring at a full refrigerator while opening the food delivery app…

I’m not going to tell you not to order the pizza.

I’m just going to ask you to pause for a second.

Take a breath.

And ask yourself:

“What do I really need right now?”

Maybe the answer is pizza.

And that’s okay.

But maybe it’s rest.

Maybe it’s comfort.

Maybe it’s a break.

Maybe it’s connection.

Maybe it’s permission to admit that you’re exhausted.

And if you can figure out what you really need, you might discover that sometimes the thing we’re trying to buy isn’t actually what we’re looking for.

And that realization can change more than our spending.

It can change our relationship with money.

And maybe even our relationship with ourselves.

When Normal Life Starts Feeling Unaffordable

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Back-to-school shopping is supposed to be exciting.

New clothes. New shoes. Fresh notebooks. School supplies. Maybe a backpack that isn’t falling apart after being dragged through another school year.

But sometimes, instead of excitement, you’re standing in the checkout line doing mental math.

Do I have enough in checking?

Should I put this on the credit card?

Maybe I can pay it off next month.

I still need to get the shoes.

And then there’s the school fee I forgot about.

And the field trip.

And the sports registration.

And suddenly, what should have been a normal back-to-school expense has turned into another financial juggling act.

And if you’re already feeling stretched, there’s another thought sitting in the back of your mind:

The holidays are coming.

You almost don’t want to think about it.

Because if back-to-school spending was this hard, how are you going to handle Thanksgiving, Christmas, gifts, travel, food, decorations and everything else that seems to show up between November and December?

So you do what you’ve probably done before.

You put it on the credit card.

You tell yourself you’ll figure it out later.

And maybe you will.

But “later” has a way of becoming next month.

Next month becomes next year.

And before you know it, you’re still paying for last Christmas while trying to figure out how you’re going to afford this one.

You’re tired of living this way.

And you’re frustrated because you’re not talking about luxury vacations or designer clothes or buying things you don’t need.

You’re talking about normal life.

Groceries. Car repairs. School supplies. A trip to the doctor. Birthday gifts. Home repairs. A child’s sports fees. Christmas presents…

Things happen.

Life happens.

And every time it does, your first thought is:

“How am I going to pay for this?”

That constant uncertainty is exhausting and a big mental load.

It’s checking your bank account before you say yes to something.

It’s avoiding opening the credit card statement.

It’s moving money from one account to another.

It’s paying one bill late so you can pay another one on time.

It’s telling yourself, “We’ll catch up next month.”

It’s feeling like you’re making decent money, but somehow there’s never enough left.

And maybe you’ve even tried to fix it.

You’ve downloaded the budgeting app.

You’ve promised yourself you’re going to stop spending.

You’ve watched the videos.

You’ve tried the cash envelopes.

You’ve cut a few subscriptions.

And somehow…

things have barely changed.

You’re still stressed.

Still wondering where the money went.

Still using debt to cover things that shouldn’t require debt.

What if the problem is deeper than the budget?

What if you simply haven’t stopped long enough to figure out what’s really happening?

Because sometimes the problem isn’t one giant financial mistake.

It’s a hundred little decisions.

The $30 here.

The $50 there.

The convenience purchase because you’re exhausted.

The dinner out because nobody felt like cooking.

The online purchase because you had a rough day.

The subscription you don’t use anymore but still pay for.

The “I’ll just put it on the card” decision.

The spending that doesn’t feel significant in the moment but adds up over the course of a month.

And sometimes it’s not even about spending too much.

Sometimes your life has simply changed, but your financial plan hasn’t changed with it.

Your income changed.

Your family changed.

Your priorities changed.

Your expenses changed.

Maybe you went through a divorce.

Maybe you had a baby.

Maybe you bought a house.

Maybe your kids got older and their expenses increased.

Maybe you started a business.

Maybe you changed jobs.

Maybe you’re helping your parents while still supporting your kids.

Maybe you’re approaching retirement and realizing the way you’ve been managing money isn’t going to work anymore.

Life changes.

Your money has to change with it.

You don’t need another lecture about what you’re doing wrong.

You need clarity.

You need to know where your money is actually going.

You need to understand the spending patterns that are keeping you stuck.

You need to know what expenses are coming before they arrive.

You need a plan for the irregular expenses that aren’t really irregular at all.

Because Christmas isn’t an emergency.

Back-to-school isn’t an emergency.

Your car needing maintenance isn’t an emergency.

Your insurance bill isn’t an emergency.

They may be unexpected in the moment, but most of these expenses are predictable.

And when predictable expenses keep becoming emergencies, that’s a sign that something in your financial system needs to change.

Because your current system isn’t working.

Imagine getting to December without the panic.

Imagine knowing what you can spend on Christmas before you start shopping.

Imagine not needing to put every gift on a credit card.

Imagine opening January’s credit card statement and not having a mountain of Christmas debt staring back at you.

Imagine handling the next school expense without wondering which bill you’re going to sacrifice.

Imagine having money set aside for the things you know are coming.

Imagine having room to breathe.

That’s what financial clarity can give you.

Not a perfect financial life. Not a life where nothing unexpected ever happens.

But a life where unexpected things don’t completely derail you.

You don’t want to keep living like this.

I think that’s the part we don’t talk about enough.

Eventually, it’s not just:

“I need to get better at budgeting.”

It becomes:

“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

I don’t want to be stressed every time something comes up.

I don’t want to keep going into debt for normal life.

I don’t want to dread the holidays because I know what they’re going to do to my finances.

I don’t want to feel like I’m making money just to watch it disappear.

I don’t want to spend my life worrying about whether there’s going to be enough.

I want my money to support the life I’m actually living.

If that’s where you are right now, maybe this is the season to stop simply trying to survive each expense as it comes.

Take a step back.

Look at the whole picture.

Look at where your money is going.

Look at what has changed.

Look at what matters most to you now.

And then make a plan that actually fits your life.

Because you deserve more than constantly trying to force the numbers work.

You deserve to feel confident about your money.

And maybe this year, instead of making another promise to “do better next month,” you decide that you’re ready to do things differently.

Life changes.

Money changes.

Together, we can navigate both.

Do You Know What You Really Want?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is simply this:

“Do I know what I really want?”

Most people would answer that question with confidence.

“I want financial freedom.”

“I want less stress.”

“I want more time with my family.”

“I want to get out of debt.”

“I want to retire someday.”

Those all sound like great answers. But if we slowed down and looked at the way we actually spend our time, our energy, and our money, would our daily choices tell the same story?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked with someone who tells me they’re exhausted. They desperately want a better work-life balance. They miss their kids’ ball games. They want to take a vacation without answering work emails every ten minutes. They dream about slowing down.

Then their employer offers overtime.

Without even thinking about it, they say yes. Again. And again.

Now, before you think I’m criticizing overtime, I’m not. There are times when working extra hours is necessary. Sometimes it’s how you keep the lights on. Sometimes it’s how you build a safety net. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with working hard.

But I do think it’s worth asking a deeper question.

Why did you say yes?

Was it because your family really needed the income? Or because somewhere along the way, your lifestyle slowly became more expensive than your paycheck?

Was it because you’re working toward a meaningful goal? Or because you’ve become so accustomed to earning that extra money you can’t imagine saying no?

The answer isn’t always obvious, and that’s exactly why it’s worth exploring.

Our financial decisions are rarely just financial. They’re emotional. They’re habitual. They’re often tied to beliefs we’ve carried for years without ever questioning them.

Many of us spend our lives chasing things we never stopped to ask if we actually wanted.

We chase promotions because that’s what successful people do.

We buy bigger houses because that’s what everyone around us seems to be doing.

We fill our schedules because busy people must be productive people, right?

We upgrade our cars, our phones, our wardrobes, and somehow convince ourselves that this next purchase will finally make life feel complete.

Yet somehow, despite earning more than we ever imagined we would, we still feel anxious.

We still wonder why peace seems so hard to find. This exact thing happened to me.

I’ve often wondered how many people are living someone else’s definition of success.

Maybe that’s because we’ve been told from an early age that success always looks like more. More money. More stuff. More accomplishments. More recognition.

But what if success actually looks different for you?

What if what you really want isn’t a bigger paycheck?

What if what you really want is dinner around the table with your family?

What if you don’t actually want the corner office (and all the responsibilities that come with it)?

What if you want margin in your schedule so you can coach your daughter’s softball team or finally take that mission trip you’ve always talked about?

What if you don’t need a bigger house? What if you just need more contentment inside the one you already have?

Those questions can be uncomfortable because they force us to examine whether our money is supporting our priorities or competing with them.

Our calendars and bank statements are incredibly honest. They reveal what we value, even when our words say something different.

If someone looked at nothing but your calendar and your bank account, what story would they tell about your life?

Would they conclude that faith is important to you?

Would they see that your family comes first?

Would they believe that peace and health are priorities?

Or would they see someone who is constantly chasing the next thing, hoping it will finally be enough?

I don’t ask those questions to create guilt.

I ask them because I’ve had to ask them of myself.

Life has a way of putting us on autopilot. We get busy surviving. We make decisions without thinking. We repeat habits because that’s what we’ve always done.

Before long, we’re living a life we never intentionally chose.

One of the things I love about Scripture is that God consistently invites us to examine our hearts. He isn’t nearly as interested in appearances as He is in our motives.

Jesus talked about money often, not because money was the point, but because it reveals what we treasure. It exposes where we place our trust, where we seek security, and sometimes even where we’re trying to fill holes that only He can fill.

Shopping is a great distraction but it can’t buy peace. No paycheck can purchase contentment. No promotion can replace purpose.

Those things come from knowing who you are and living in alignment with what matters most.

Financial coaching isn’t just about creating a budget or paying off debt. Those things are important, but they’re only part of the picture.

Real financial transformation begins when you become clear about the life you’re trying to build. Because once you’re clear about what you truly want, your financial decisions become much simpler.

Not always easier, but clearer.

You begin saying yes to things that support your priorities and no to things that don’t.

You stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s.

You stop buying things to impress people whose opinions don’t actually matter.

You stop believing that more is always better.

Instead, you begin building a life that reflects your values instead of your impulses.

So today, I want to leave you with the same question we started with.

Do you know what you really want?

Not what culture tells you to want. Not what your neighbors have. Not what social media celebrates.

What do you want?

Because if you don’t answer that question intentionally, the world will answer it for you. And before long, you’ll wake up one day wondering how you ended up living a life that doesn’t look anything like the one you were hoping for.

Your money is a tool. Every dollar you earn is an opportunity to move closer to the life God is calling you to live.

The question is, are you using it to build the life you truly want…or the life you accidentally drifted into?

What Has Your Attention Has Your Money

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

What if the thing distracting you from your financial goals isn’t your lack of money, but your lack of attention?

That question hit me differently this past week.

I decided to fast from social media.

Not just cut back. Not “I’ll only check it for a few minutes.” I stepped away from it completely.

And I’ll be honest, it was interesting.

At first, I kept reaching for my phone out of habit. I’d have a few minutes of downtime and instinctively want to check Facebook or see what was happening online.

Then I’d remember, “Oh yeah. I’m fasting from social media.”

And eventually, something happened.

I started noticing how much mental space social media had been taking up.

It wasn’t just the physical act of picking up my phone. It was the mental distraction that came with it.

The opinions. The comparison. The endless stream of information.

The things I saw that made me think, “I should be doing that.”

The things that made me wonder what other people were doing.

The constant noise.

When I removed social media, I wasn’t just removing something from my hands.

I was removing something from my mind.

And that got me thinking about money.

Because how often do we do the exact opposite with our finances?

We allow distractions to constantly pull our attention away from what matters most.

And then we wonder why we’re not making progress.

Distraction Can Be Expensive

Let’s be honest.

How many times have you opened your phone to do something important and 30 minutes later you’re watching a video of somebody organizing their refrigerator?

Don’t tell me I’m the only one.

And those distractions aren’t always harmless.

Maybe you’re scrolling and see someone showing off their new car. Suddenly your perfectly good car doesn’t seem so good anymore.

You see someone’s beautiful vacation. Now your own vacation feels boring.

Someone posts pictures of their beautifully decorated home. Suddenly you’re looking around your house wondering why your couch has been there since the Bush administration.

And then comes the temptation to spend.

Maybe you don’t even realize you’re comparing.

But comparison can make us spend money on a life we only think we want.

That’s one of the sneaky ways distraction affects our finances.

Sometimes We Spend Because We’re Distracted

Think about the last time you made an impulse purchase.

Were you excited about the purchase? Or were you bored? Stressed? Lonely? Celebrating? Trying to make yourself feel better?

Sometimes we’re not really buying the thing.

We’re buying the feeling we think the thing will give us.

That’s why “just make a budget” doesn’t always solve the problem.

A budget can tell you where your money is going.

But sometimes we have to dig deeper and ask why we’re spending it.

Because if we’re using spending to cope with emotions, boredom, comparison, or stress, the problem isn’t simply mathematical.

It’s behavioral and/or emotional.

And Then There’s the Other Kind of Distraction

Distraction doesn’t always mean spending money.

Sometimes it means avoiding our money.

You know you need to look at your bank account or check your credit card balance.

You know you need to figure out where your money is going.

You know you need to deal with that credit card.

You know you should probably start saving for that thing you’ve been talking about for three years.

But instead, you do something else.

You check your phone.

You clean the house.

You answer emails.

You binge-watch something.

You convince yourself you’ll deal with it tomorrow.

And tomorrow comes.

Then next week.

Then next month.

And suddenly you’re wondering why your financial situation hasn’t changed.

But we all know that ignoring something doesn’t make it go away. (Hello dishes in the sink).

Sometimes we don’t need another financial app. We need to stop avoiding our reality.

What Has Your Attention?

There’s a verse in Matthew that says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

I’ve always loved that verse, but this week I started thinking about it from a slightly different perspective.

What has my attention?

Because what has our attention often influences where our money goes.

If comparison has our attention, our money may follow.

If convenience has our attention, our money may follow.

If keeping up with other people has our attention, our money may follow.

If fear has our attention, our money may follow.

If work has our attention, our money may follow.

And if we’re constantly distracted, our money may simply follow whatever grabs our attention next.

That’s a scary thought because our attention is limited. We only have so much of it.

And just like we can’t spend the same dollar twice, we can’t give our full attention to everything.

Something is always going to get less of it.

So what are you choosing?

My Social Media Fast Taught Me Something About Money

One of the biggest things I noticed this past week was how much quieter my mind became.

Without the constant input, I had more room to think. More room to pray. More room to focus.

More room to do things that actually mattered to me, and it made me wonder:

What would happen if we did the same thing with our finances?

What if we removed some of the noise?

What if we stopped looking at everyone else’s lives?

What if we stopped buying things simply because someone else has them?

What if we stopped allowing advertisements to tell us what we need?

What if we stopped letting our emotions make every financial decision?

What if we simply became more intentional?

Maybe financial clarity isn’t always about adding something.

Maybe sometimes it’s about removing something.

Removing the distraction. Removing the comparison. Removing the unnecessary spending.

Removing the noise.

God Doesn’t Need Us Distracted

I also think there’s something spiritual about this.

We live in a world that constantly tells us to want more.

More money.

More stuff.

More success.

More followers.

More recognition.

More experiences.

More.

More.

More.

And sometimes we get so busy chasing “more” that we miss what we already have.

We miss the blessings sitting right in front of us.

We miss the quiet moments.

We miss our families.

We miss our purpose.

We miss God’s voice because our lives are so full of noise that we don’t have much room left to listen.

My social media fast reminded me that sometimes I don’t need more information.

I need more intention.

I need more quiet.

I need more time with God.

And honestly, I probably need to put my phone down more often.

Because apparently, my phone and I have a very healthy relationship…

If by healthy, you mean I check on it approximately 47 times a day.

So What Has Your Attention?

I want you to think about this for a minute.

What has been getting most of your attention lately?

Your financial goals?

Or everyone else’s lives?

Your savings?

Or online shopping?

Your future?

Or today’s wants?

Your financial problems?

Or everything you can find to distract yourself from them?

Your purpose?

Or the constant noise around you?

And here’s the bigger question:

Is what has your attention actually helping you get where you want to go?

Because your money is going somewhere.

Your time is going somewhere.

Your energy is going somewhere.

Your attention is going somewhere.

The question is whether you’re intentionally directing those things or simply allowing the loudest thing in the room to take them.

My week without social media didn’t solve every problem in my life.

But it reminded me of something important:

Sometimes we don’t need to add more to our lives. Sometimes we need to remove the things that are keeping us from paying attention to what matters.

And that applies to our money too.

Maybe before you make another budget, open another savings account, or tell yourself you just need to make more money, take a step back.

Get quiet.

Ask God for wisdom.

Pay attention.

Look honestly at where your money is going and why.

And then ask yourself one simple question:

“Is my money helping me move toward the life I want, or am I allowing my distractions to decide where it goes?”

Because sometimes the financial breakthrough we’re looking for isn’t found in making more.

Sometimes it’s found in paying attention to what we already have.