The Great Generational Money Feud: Who Really Had It Easier?

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Let’s get controversial. Arguments about money between generations have become intense. Online, Boomers might say, “If you’d stop buying $7 lattes, you could afford a house!” while Millennials or Gen Z reply, “Yeah, when homes didn’t cost 14 times your salary!”

It’s easy to roll your eyes at either side. But, like most arguments, the truth isn’t black and white; it’s somewhere in the middle.

The Older Generation’s Side: “We Worked for It.”

The older generation loves to remind everyone that they worked hard for what they have, and they’re not wrong. Many of them came up during a time when you landed a job and stayed there for 30 years, maybe even retired with a pension.

They dealt with sky-high interest rates, sometimes as high as 15% or more in the late ’70s and ’80s. So yes, homes were cheaper, but financing them was a whole different kind of painful. A single percentage point (or even a quarter of one) can mean hundreds of dollars a month, and they felt that sting.

They didn’t have credit cards on every corner or “buy now, pay later” buttons tempting them daily. Vacations (if they took them) were road trips, dinners out were rare, and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant mowing your yard, not competing with Instagram influencers.

So when they look at today’s spending habits, subscription services, daily coffee runs, and designer side hustles, they see indulgence, not inflation.

And from their view, they’re right. They learned to live on less because they had to.

The Younger Generation’s Side: “You Don’t Get It.”

But the younger generation isn’t imagining things either; the math really is different now.

Yes, Boomers had higher interest rates, but they were also borrowing a lot less. A $60,000 house at 12% is a whole different beast than a $400,000 home at 7%. And that’s if you can even get approved for a mortgage with today’s debt-to-income ratios.

Millennials and Gen Z aren’t just battling home prices. They’re buried under student loans, rising healthcare costs, childcare that costs more than rent, and stagnant wages that haven’t kept up with inflation. Many of them are working two jobs or side hustles just to break even.

And while many Boomers had company pensions and affordable healthcare through their employers, younger workers are often piecing together gig income, freelance work, and 401(k)s that depend entirely on their own contributions.

Add in things like skyrocketing rent, insurance premiums, and the constant cost of staying “connected”, internet, cell phone, streaming, and apps, and it’s no wonder so many feel like they’re sprinting just to stay in place.

The Truth in the Middle

Here’s where both sides are right and wrong.

The older generation worked hard and faced real financial challenges, but they also lived in an economy that rewarded stability and consistency. The younger generation is facing costs that didn’t exist back then, but they also live in a time with more access to information, flexibility, and opportunity than ever before.

Boomers had to sacrifice convenience; Millennials and Gen Z have to sacrifice comfort. Both are valid forms of struggle.

The truth is, both generations want the same thing: financial freedom, peace of mind, and the ability to enjoy life without worrying about the next bill. They just had to play the game under completely different rules.

What We Can Learn From Each Other

Maybe the older generation could acknowledge that times really have changed and the math doesn’t add up the same way it used to.
And maybe the younger generation could recognize that some of the financial frustration isn’t just systemic, it’s also behavioral.

Discipline, patience, and delayed gratification still matter. But so does adaptability, creativity, and learning to navigate a world that moves faster than ever.

If we stopped arguing over who had it worse and started learning from each other, we might actually meet in the middle: old-school sacrifice with modern strategy.

Because financial success isn’t just about the decade you were born in, it’s about how you manage the one you’re living in.

You Know What to Do. So Why Aren’t You Doing It?

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Let’s cut straight to it.
You probably already know how to fix your money problems.

You’ve read the blogs. You’ve watched the videos.
You know how to budget, how to save, and what not to buy on impulse.
So if knowledge was the answer, you’d already be good.

But you’re not stuck because you don’t know. You’re stuck because you don’t trust yourself to follow through.

And that’s a different kind of problem.

It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the stories.

Every money habit you have; the overspending, the procrastination, the avoidance, is connected to a story you’ve told yourself for years.
Maybe it’s:
“I’ve never been good with money.”
“I’ll never have enough.”
“I’ll start once I make more.”

And every time you act in a way that fits that story, it reinforces it.
Not because you want to stay stuck, but because it feels familiar.

Familiar feels safe, even when it’s expensive.

So you keep living on autopilot, repeating the same behaviors you swore you’d stop doing… because doing something different requires a new identity, not just new information.

Let’s get real for a second.

You don’t need another budget app.
You don’t need a color-coded spreadsheet.
You don’t even need another “money challenge.”

What you do need is a better understanding of why you don’t believe yourself when you say you’ll change.

Because if you’ve broken a promise to yourself enough times, you stop trusting your own word.
And without trust, motivation doesn’t matter.

So what can you actually do?

Let’s shake things up a little. Not with more rules, but with real moves.

1. Stop setting “perfect world” goals.
You don’t live in a perfect world. Stop making plans for one.
If your budget only works when nothing goes wrong, it’s not realistic, it’s fantasy. Build in real life. Build in the unexpected. Build in grace.

2. Change your environment before you change your behavior.
If your phone is full of shopping apps, delete them.
If you always overspend with certain friends, start suggesting hangouts that don’t cost money.
You can’t keep your same habits and expect your money to behave differently.

3. Make your progress visible.
We love seeing “wins,” but most financial change happens quietly like paying $200 more than the minimum payment regularly, saying no to dinner out, skipping the sale. Track it somewhere you can see it. Progress you can see becomes progress you protect.

4. Create small discomfort on purpose.
Change never happens in your comfort zone. Set up small challenges that stretch you; a no-spend weekend, a savings goal that feels slightly out of reach, a conversation with someone about debt that you’ve been avoiding.
You don’t need chaos. You need tension that teaches you self-control.

5. Ask better questions.
Instead of “Why can’t I stick to this?” ask, “What do I gain by not changing?”
Because if you’re holding onto a habit, even a bad one, it’s doing something for you; giving you comfort, control, or distraction. When you find that reason, you can finally replace it with something healthier.

Here’s the truth no one likes to hear:
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t have a plan.
They stay stuck because they’re addicted to the version of themselves that’s used to struggling.

Change costs identity.
And until you’re willing to let go of who you’ve been with money, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns, just with better excuses.

So maybe the question isn’t “Why am I not doing what I know I should do?”
Maybe it’s “What part of me is afraid of what happens if I actually do it?”

Because sometimes it’s not fear of failure holding you back — it’s fear of finally succeeding.

When Money Decisions Feel Like a Game of Whack-a-Mole

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Ever feel like every time you handle one money issue, three more pop up like a bad round of Whack-a-Mole? You finally pay off one credit card, and boom; the car needs tires, your kid’s field trip fee is due, and someone forgot about that “automatic renewal” you swore you canceled last year.

It’s exhausting.

And if you’ve ever stood in the grocery aisle staring at forty-seven kinds of peanut butter, wondering if “organic,” “crunchy,” or the one with the yellow lid is the “right” choice, you know the feeling. Now multiply that by a mortgage, retirement plans, student loans, and maybe a business decision or two. That’s financial decision paralysis.

We live in a time that’s overflowing with options; apps that track your spending, influencers promising overnight wealth, and “exclusive” credit card offers that show up like uninvited party guests. It’s no wonder people freeze. We’re not just afraid of picking wrong. We’re afraid of failing, of wasting money, of being judged.

And so, we do nothing.
The problem with that is that doing nothing is a decision. And often, it’s the most expensive one.

Why We Freeze Up

It’s not really about money. It’s about fear.
Fear of making the wrong move. Fear of regret. Fear that one bad choice will mess everything up.

We’ve been taught to chase the perfect plan, have the perfect budget, the perfect investment, the perfect system when we all know there’s no such thing. Personal finance isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal.

God never asked us to be perfect planners. He asked us to be faithful stewards. That means doing the best we can with what we have and trusting Him with the rest. He’s not grading us on flawless execution. He’s looking for obedience, wisdom, and a little faith in the middle of the mess.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

Avoiding financial decisions feels safe in the moment, but it’s like putting your money in time-out and hoping it grows while it’s sitting there. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

When you avoid rolling over that old 401(k) or skip setting up a spending plan because it’s overwhelming, that’s progress on pause. And that pause has a price.

Then there’s the stress. That constant mental weight of “I should probably deal with that…” Stress steals your sleep, your joy, and your peace. But remember, God never meant for you to carry all that alone. He said, “Cast your cares on Me,” not “juggle them until you drop.”

How to Break Free from the Freeze

So how do you stop spinning in circles and start moving forward?

  1. Shrink the decision.
    Stop asking, “What’s the perfect plan for retirement?” and start asking, “Can I move 2% more into savings this month?” Small moves create big momentum.
  2. Set boundaries.
    You don’t need every podcast, influencer, and newsletter in your head. Mute the noise. Choose trusted sources, and protect your peace.
  3. Pray before you pay.
    God may not drop your investment strategy into your DMs, but prayer slows the panic. It shifts your heart from fear to faith.
  4. Pick something.
    Almost any forward step beats standing still. Even if you have to adjust later, you’re learning and growing.
  5. Ask for help.
    God wired us for community. Sometimes the breakthrough comes after talking it out with someone who’s not tangled up in your emotions; a friend, a mentor, or yes… a coach.

If you’ve been stuck in that place of financial overwhelm, just pause and breathe for a second. You’re human and you’ve had a lot on your plate.

God’s not looking at your credit score; He’s looking at your heart. He’s not waiting for you to have it all figured out. He’s just waiting for you to take one faithful step forward.

So pick one thing. Just one. Maybe it’s setting up automatic savings. Maybe it’s finally opening that envelope that’s been sitting on your counter giving you the side-eye. Or maybe it’s reaching out for a little guidance and support.

Progress doesn’t come from having all the answers today. It comes from small steps, a little faith, and a good sense of humor when life gets messy.

And listen… if you still can’t decide between crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Buy both. God gives us room for a little grace — and a little variety.

The Addiction No One Talks About

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I saw this quote recently, and I swear it leapt off the screen and side-eyed me:
“If you don’t think you’re addicted to something, try fasting from it.”

Well… that felt a little personal.

Because my first thought was, Oh, I could give up anything if I had to.
And then I imagined going a week without coffee, Amazon, or that little thrill I get when I see “Your order has shipped.”
Suddenly, I realized, yeah, maybe I am a little addicted.

Financial Fasting Hits Different

Now, before you think I’m suggesting a wilderness fast with no water and locusts, calm down. I’m talking about a financial fast; no unnecessary spending for a set time.

No takeout. No “just one quick Target run.” No late-night scrolling on Etsy, convincing yourself you need another candle that smells like “Peaceful Rainforest Serenity.”

If you want to know what’s got a grip on you, try saying no to it for seven days.
The first day, you’ll feel strong. Day two, you’ll justify everything. By day three, you’ll be eyeing your debit card like it’s the last donut in the box.

The moment you tell yourself no, you start to see what’s really driving the yes. But that’s where the learning happens.

What God Showed Me

When I went through my divorce, I didn’t just lose a marriage; I lost my sense of safety. And without realizing it, I tried to buy that feeling back. New clothes, dinners out, little treats “to cheer myself up.”

And I remember God nudging me one day: “You’re trying to fill an emotional hole with financial band-aids.”

Ouch again.

Because He was right. What I really needed was peace. Not another Amazon box on my porch.

Money wasn’t my problem. My need for comfort was.
And only God could really meet that need.

The Real Addiction

It’s not always the spending we’re hooked on.
It’s the feeling it gives us. The comfort, control, or distraction.
And when those feelings fade, we’re right back where we started, wallet lighter and heart still hungry.

That’s why fasting, financial or otherwise, can be such a powerful reset. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about revelation.

When we stop feeding the habit, we start hearing from God in the quiet.
And He has this funny way of showing us what we’ve been running from… and what we actually need.

Let’s Dig a Little Deeper

Here’s where the life coach in me steps in:
If you find yourself overspending, ask what need you’re really trying to meet.

Are you buying to feel seen?
To escape stress?
To reward yourself because no one else is clapping for your effort?
Or maybe, you’re trying to create a sense of control in a life that feels unpredictable.

When you can name the feeling behind the behavior, you start to break the pattern.
And when you bring that awareness to God, He can actually heal the part of you that’s reaching for something temporary to soothe something deeper.

Try It

Pick one thing to fast from financially. It might be DoorDash, Amazon, Starbucks, or online browsing when you’re bored.

Every time the urge hits, stop and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What am I hoping this purchase will fix?
  • Is there another way I can meet that need, spiritually, emotionally, or practically?

Then invite God into that space.
Pray. Take a walk. Journal. Call a friend.
You’ll start to see what’s been running your money (and maybe your peace) without your permission.

Sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough money.
It’s that we’re spending to fill a void only God and a little self-honesty can heal.

And when you fast from what controls you, you finally make room for what frees you.

And hey, if you make it all seven days without an Amazon relapse, reward yourself with… well, prayer. Or maybe a walk. But not another candle, okay? (And no—adding just one thing to your Amazon cart “for later” doesn’t count as fasting. Nice try.)

When Seasons Change Along With Your Marriage

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Pumpkin spice isn’t the only thing showing up in early fall. Believe it or not, divorce filings also spike this time of year. Yep, just when you thought the biggest expense you’d face in September was back-to-school shopping, the reality is a lot of couples are sitting down with lawyers instead of PTO calendars.

But why fall? Well, think about it. Couples often try to hold it together through the summer for maybe one last family vacation, one more “let’s see if this works” effort while the kids are out of school. And then, when August heat turns into September routines, many people decide it’s time for a fresh start before the holiday season rolls around.

Here’s the tough part: divorce isn’t just emotionally draining, it’s financially draining, too. Money is already one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and splitting households doesn’t exactly make things easier. If you’re not careful, you can end up with just as much financial heartbreak as marital heartbreak.

So let’s talk about how divorce impacts your money and what you can do to lessen the blow:

1. Two Houses, One Income (or Less)

You go from sharing expenses to doubling them. Mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance—suddenly you’re covering it solo. If you haven’t already, it’s time to put together a realistic budget for your household, not the one that used to be.

2. The “Stuff” Split

Dividing assets sounds fair on paper, but things get tricky fast. Retirement accounts, investments, even furniture, those things don’t just divide cleanly. Before agreeing to anything, understand the tax and long-term implications. A $50,000 retirement account isn’t the same as $50,000 in cash.

3. Debt Doesn’t Magically Disappear

Credit card bills, car loans, and even that home equity line; divorce doesn’t erase them. Be proactive about how debt is divided and whose name it stays under. Otherwise, your credit could take a hit for someone else’s spending.

4. Kids and Cash

If children are involved, child support and possibly alimony come into play. Don’t just think short-term; factor these payments (or the lack of them) into your long-term financial plan.

What You Can Do to Lessen the Impact

  • Get clear on your numbers. Write down your income, expenses, debts, and assets. Knowledge is power.
  • Work with professionals. A lawyer handles the legal side, but a financial coach helps you look at the big picture—budgeting, saving, retirement, even rebuilding your money mindset.
  • Adjust your lifestyle quickly. It’s tempting to keep living like you did as a couple, but the sooner you shift, the stronger you’ll feel financially.
  • Guard your heart and your wallet. Emotional decisions lead to expensive mistakes whether that’s fighting over the couch or giving up assets just to “get it over with.”

And let’s not forget the spiritual side matters, too. God isn’t surprised by your situation, and He isn’t leaving you to figure it out alone. In Proverbs 24:3 it says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Even if your marriage is ending, you can rebuild your financial house with wisdom and understanding.

Divorce is tough, but God still has a plan and thankfully, so can your budget (even if it involves more coffee and less Netflix)

The Bottom Line

Fall may be “divorce season,” but it doesn’t have to be financial disaster season. With the right plan, the right mindset, and a little faith, you can come out stronger both emotionally and financially. And when you’re ready, I’m here to walk you through the money side of things so you can focus on building a new, solid foundation.

From Piggy Banks to Paychecks: Why Kids Need Money Lessons Early

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I still remember the first time my daughter asked me for money. She was maybe four years old, holding a crumpled dollar in her little hand like it was gold. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and said, “Mommy, can I buy all the candy?”

That was my wake-up call.

Teaching kids about money is a lot like teaching them to ride a bike. You don’t just shove them on a two-wheeler, give a little push, and pray they figure it out before crashing into the mailbox. No, you start with training wheels. You run alongside them. You let them wobble, tip, and scrape a knee or two while you cheer them on.

Money works the same way.

Kids don’t come with a built-in money manual. They come with big dreams, sticky fingers, and an uncanny ability to find the toy aisle like it’s the Promised Land. But if we don’t start teaching them about money when they’re small, they’ll grow up learning about it the hard way, usually from the school of overdraft fees and credit card debt.

Money is one of those topics we sometimes whisper about, like it’s too big or too grown-up for kids to understand. But we need to remember, they’re watching us. They notice when we swipe a card at Target like it’s magic. They notice when we sigh at the kitchen table with the stack of bills. They notice when we drop a $20 in the offering plate on Sunday. They’re learning whether we say anything or not. Just like little seedlings, they soak it all in, even if they don’t have words for it yet.

And that’s why it matters to start early.

Give them chances to handle money. Instead of waiting until they’re teenagers and suddenly expect them to “get it,” why not start now? Give them little bits of responsibility early. A dollar to put in the offering plate. A piggy bank where they can watch their coins grow. Let them save for something they want instead of handing it to them right away. That’s watering the seed.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Yvonne, my kids can’t even keep their shoes on the right feet, and you want me to trust them with money?” Yep. Because learning about money when the stakes are small is exactly the point. Better they “waste” $5 on slime or Pokémon cards now than $500 on a credit card bill later.

God says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” That doesn’t just mean teaching them to say “please” and “thank you.” It means showing them how to live wisely including how to use money in a way that honors Him.

When we start early, those lessons take root.

And if they mess it up? Well, isn’t that the safest time for them to learn while the “budget crisis” is just about a lost dollar and not about not being able to pay rent?

So, start the conversation. Make it fun. Let them make a few mistakes while the stakes are low. Teach them about giving, saving, and spending in that order. You’ll be planting seeds that will grow into wisdom later and maybe, just maybe, you’ll save yourself from being the family ATM when they’re 25.

Because at the end of the day, money isn’t just about numbers. It’s about values, choices, and trusting God with what we’ve been given. And those are lessons worth teaching as soon as their little hands can hold a dollar bill.

Is Owning a Home a Blessing—or a Burden?

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Somewhere along the line, we were told that buying a home is the big “American Dream.” You know, fresh-cut grass, neighbors waving from the driveway, and a dog that finally has a yard to dig in. But as a financial educator and someone who spent years in real estate and mortgage, I want to slow us down for a second and ask: Is this dream really your dream right now or is it someone else’s?

Homeownership can be a beautiful blessing. It can give you stability, equity, a sense of accomplishment, and a place to build memories. But before you start shopping for throw pillows and paint colors, let’s talk about what it really takes to be ready.

More Than a Mortgage

Buying a home is not just about affording the monthly payment. It’s about understanding the whole picture. Property taxes, insurance, maintenance, HOA fees, and yes, that water heater that always seems to break at the worst possible time.

It’s like Luke 14:28 reminds us: “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost?” God isn’t trying to scare us with that scripture, He’s reminding us that wisdom is in preparation.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Buying

Instead of asking, “Can I buy a house?” try asking:

  • Do I have a healthy emergency fund for the unexpected?
  • Is my income steady enough to handle both the expected and the surprises?
  • Will buying this home bring peace to my life or pressure?
  • Am I looking at this house as an investment in my future, or as a way to prove something to others?

Sometimes the most powerful prayer you can pray in this process is, “Lord, is this right for me?”

The Beauty of Renting

Here’s where I like to shift the narrative: renting isn’t a “failure.” Renting gives you flexibility, space to change paths without being tied to a mortgage. It allows you to focus on building your foundation, whether that’s paying off debt, growing savings, or preparing for the home that will truly fit your life later on.

My Personal Take

There have been seasons when buying a home was the right move for me, and seasons when renting gave me the freedom I needed. The truth is, neither one makes you more “grown up” or more successful. What matters is whether your choice lines up with your values and with God’s plan for your life.

A Final Word

Whether you buy or rent, your worth isn’t tied to your mortgage statement. Proverbs 24:3 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.” The wisdom comes first—the house comes second.

So if you’re thinking about buying, pray about it, run the numbers, count the costs, and make sure it fits not just your budget, but your calling. And when the time is right, you’ll step into it with peace, not pressure.

And if you do end up with that yard, may God bless you with the kind of joy that makes it more than just a piece of land, it becomes a piece of your story.

When Love and Money Collide: The Financial Realities of Being a Pet Parent

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I just got home from vacation. It was a wonderful time with family and other loved ones. But this post isn’t about leaving for vacation. It’s about coming home.

As soon as I pulled into the driveway, all I wanted to do was throw my arms around my dogs. If you’re a pet parent, you know that feeling, coming home to wagging tails, happy barks, and that unmistakable sense that you were truly missed. I missed them just as much. That reunion was pure joy.

But life has a way of mixing joy with heartbreak. The very next day, my sister’s dog had to be put down because of an unforeseen complication from his long-term health condition. Watching her walk through that grief so suddenly was devastating. It also stirred up so many memories of my own journey with pets and the way they can impact not only our hearts but also our finances.

The Day Nordy Got Sick

Years ago, when I lived in Texas, I learned this lesson in the hardest way. Nordy, my sweet dog, was diagnosed with Giardia. What I thought would be a simple round of medicine turned into weeks of treatments and thousands of dollars in vet bills. I can still remember standing at the pay portal at the vet, ready to take him home, looking at the invoice totals that rivaled car payments, wondering how I was going to cover it all.

But when you look into the eyes of the dog who’s been by your side through so much, there’s no hesitation you find a way. And I did. Still, that season taught me how quickly pet care can go from routine to overwhelming.

Another Blow

Years later, tragedy struck again. Something happened at the groomer (I will likely never know the whole story), and Nordy eventually had to have both of his eyes removed. The grief of watching him go through surgeries and recoveries was almost unbearable. The bills stacked up again, and I had to face those familiar feelings of stress and worry.

And yet Nordy amazed me. Once he healed, he adjusted to life without sight in a way that inspired me more than words can explain. He showed resilience, adaptability, and courage. In a strange way, he taught me more about navigating life’s challenges than some people ever could.

The Hard Reality of Pet Care

Pets bring us unconditional love, laughter, and companionship. They become part of our family in every sense of the word. But being a pet parent also means stepping into financial and emotional responsibility that can sometimes be overwhelming.

It’s not just about the cost of food, toys, and yearly checkups. It’s the curveballs, emergencies, accidents, and long-term conditions that test your ability to say “yes” to care when your heart is begging you to do it, but your finances are whispering, “maybe you can’t.”

That’s where the true weight of pet ownership lies: in the moments where love collides with money. When you’re financially unprepared, the choices become heavier, the guilt grows stronger, and the grief cuts deeper.

Planning for the Ones Who Can’t Plan for Themselves

This is why financial planning isn’t just about retirement or paying off debt. It’s about preparing for all the pieces of your life that matter most, including the furry ones who greet you at the door.

Having an emergency fund, a budget that allows for unexpected costs, or even pet insurance can make all the difference between being able to move forward with treatment or being cornered into a heartbreaking decision. Preparation gives you freedom, the freedom to say yes without wondering how you’ll pay for it later.

As much as we wish it did, love alone doesn’t pay the vet bills. Preparation does. And when you prepare, you not only protect your finances, you protect your peace of mind in the moments you need it most.

Pets change us. They love us in ways that are pure and uncomplicated. They deserve our love back, both in cuddles and in the quiet, behind-the-scenes choices we make to be ready for whatever life throws their way.

The Middle

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There’s a stretch of life that feels like a pressure cooker. You’re not just building your own future, you’re supporting everyone else’s too. The kids still need you. The parents now do, too. And somehow, you’re expected to keep the lights on, stay sane, and have a retirement plan in place.

Welcome to the middle.

This stage, often called the “sandwich generation”,  is where so many people find themselves emotionally stretched and financially scrambled. You’re the go-to person for school pickups, sports fees, emergency dental appointments, and also the one researching Medicare plans, managing doctor visits, and making sure your parents don’t fall for the latest scam call.

It’s a season of deep love, real responsibility, and if we’re being honest…a little chaos.

The Unspoken Toll

Let’s talk numbers for a second. It’s not just the emotional labor. It’s the money.

You might be covering part of your parents’ prescriptions, helping with their rent, or paying for in-home care. At the same time, your teenager just announced they want to tour colleges, each one with a tuition price tag that could fund a luxury car.

Add in your own rising property tax, food costs that feel like a prank, and the guilt of not saving enough for your own retirement, and yeah, it’s a lot.

And here’s the kicker: Most people in this spot don’t talk about it. They just quietly stretch their budgets, skip vacations, and push their own goals to the back burner.

The Myth of “Having It All Together”

There’s this subtle pressure to pretend you’re managing just fine. But behind closed doors, the budget spreadsheet isn’t adding up. You’ve dipped into savings. You’re making minimum payments. And sometimes, you wonder how long you can keep this up.

If this is you, let me say this clearly: “If it feels like you’re sinking, maybe it’s because you’ve taken on a load too heavy to carry alone.

What You Can Do (Even If It’s Not Perfect)

You may not be able to fix everything overnight, but there are a few things that can make this season more manageable:

  • Get brutally honest about your numbers. It’s tempting to avoid the hard look at the bank account. But clarity is a kindness to your future self.
  • Prioritize ruthlessly. You can’t give everyone everything. Choose what really matters right now; maybe it’s college savings over a new car, or saying no to a costly family event you can’t swing this year.
  • Ask for help. From your siblings, from your partner, from a financial coach. You don’t have to do this alone.
  • Talk to your kids and your parents. When transparency is shared with love and care, it builds trust, and sometimes it even sparks unexpected solutions, like scholarships or shared caregiving that come out of family brainstorming sessions.
  • Give yourself grace. This isn’t a season of perfect plans. It’s a season of surviving with heart.

This Is Temporary

It doesn’t always feel like it, but this season will change. Your parents won’t need the same level of care forever. Your kids won’t live at home forever (even if it really seems like they might). And eventually, you’ll come up for air.

But while you’re in the middle, remember this: You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing what strong, loving, resilient people have always done—figuring it out, one hard decision at a time.

And that, my friend, is something to be proud of.

When Peace Feels Wrong and Stability Feels Boring

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s talk about something uncomfortable.

Not credit scores.
Not retirement accounts.
Not budgeting.

Let’s talk about the part of you that might be addicted to chaos.

I know, I know! The word addicted feels dramatic all on its own. But hang with me.

You might not be chasing drama on purpose. You’re not starting fights or stirring up messes. But if you’re constantly dealing with emergencies, living paycheck to paycheck (even when you make decent money), or finding yourself stuck in the same stressful financial patterns, there might be something deeper going on.

And it’s not just about dollars. It’s about what your nervous system has learned to expect.

Trauma and Drama: The Financial Loop

If you grew up in a home where money was always tight, unpredictable, or used as a weapon, your body may have learned to live in crisis mode.

And now, as an adult, crisis feels… normal. Familiar. Even safe.

So when things are calm, when your bills are paid, when your savings account is growing, you may unconsciously self-sabotage.

You buy something you don’t need.
You stop checking your bank account.
You help someone out financially (again) even though you don’t actually have the margin.

And boom, chaos is back. Crisis mode returns. And your nervous system can breathe a twisted sigh of relief: Ahhh, yes, back where we belong.

That’s what addiction looks like. Not because you’re weak, but because your body is just trying to survive in the only way it knows how.

Financial Drama Is a Distraction

Here’s the hard truth: staying stuck in trauma and drama keeps you from having to do the slow, sometimes boring work of building a stable life.

Creating a budget, sticking to it, setting long-term goals, saying no when it’s easier to say yes, these things don’t always feel exciting. They don’t give you that adrenaline rush that a financial emergency does.

But they do give you peace. And purpose. And the kind of freedom that doesn’t come from a tax refund or a side hustle. It comes from consistency.

God Didn’t Design You to Live in Constant Survival

Let’s get spiritual for a second. Because this isn’t just psychological or financial, it’s also deeply spiritual.

God doesn’t call us to chaos.
He doesn’t say, “I came so they could barely scrape by.”
He says, “I came so they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Abundance doesn’t mean designer bags or Instagram vacations. It means enough. It means peace in your decisions. It means margin. It means getting out of survival mode and into stewardship.

If your nervous system is addicted to drama, it’s going to fight you every time you try to rest, save, or say “no.”

But that’s not the voice of God. That’s the voice of your past trying to hold your future hostage.

How to Break the Cycle

Here’s where we start:

1. Tell the truth.
Admit when you’re creating chaos out of habit. Admit when calm feels scary. That’s not weakness, that’s wisdom.

2. Pause before reacting.
Before making a big purchase, saying yes to helping someone, or ignoring your bills, take a beat. Ask: “Am I solving a real problem, or am I chasing that drama high again?”

3. Create routines that feel safe.
Budgeting, tracking expenses, and planning your financial week, these aren’t chores. They’re anchors. They help your nervous system learn what safety feels like.

4. Invite God into your money.
Ask Him to break your patterns. To heal your heart. To help you see money as a tool, not a trap.

5. Get help.
You’re not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s a coach (hi, that’s me), a therapist, or a trusted accountability partner, bring people into your healing.

You need to understand, you are not lazy, and you’re not bad with money. You’re not broken.

You’re likely exhausted. And your brain has confused chaos with comfort.

But you can change that.
You can heal.
And you can build a financial life that doesn’t just look good, but actually feels good.

Drama doesn’t have to be your default. Peace can be your new normal.