There’s a well-known saying that people don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad bosses. It’s well-known for a reason. According to Swells.com, 75% of workers who leave their jobs leave because of their bosses and not because of their position, the company, or their role within the company.

Leadership is a multifaceted concept. At its core, being a good leader transcends mere authority and demands a profound blend of qualities that resonate with the hearts and minds of those led. It’s an art of guidance and a commitment to collective growth. Effective leadership is crucial for guiding teams and organizations toward success. But what truly defines a good leader?

Vision and Purpose: At the heart of every great leader is a compelling vision. A good leader has the ability to see beyond the present circumstances, envisioning a future that inspires and motivates others. This vision serves as a compass, providing direction and purpose. Communicating this vision with clarity fosters a shared sense of purpose among team members, aligning efforts toward a common goal.

Integrity and Trust: Integrity is the bedrock of good leadership. Trust is earned through consistent honesty, transparency, and ethical behavior. A leader who operates with integrity builds trust within the team, creating a foundation for collaboration and open communication. Trust is the currency that fuels effective teamwork and enables a leader to navigate challenges with the support of their team.

Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Understanding the emotions and perspectives of others is a hallmark of a good leader. Empathy allows leaders to connect on a human level, fostering a positive and inclusive work environment. Emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness and the ability to manage one’s emotions, is crucial for making sound decisions and navigating interpersonal dynamics effectively.

Effective Communication: Communication is the lifeblood of leadership. A good leader must be able to convey ideas clearly, listen actively, and adapt their communication style to suit the audience. Open and transparent communication builds trust, minimizes misunderstandings, and ensures that everyone is on the same page. Additionally, effective leaders encourage feedback, valuing the input of their team members.

Decisiveness and Accountability: Leaders are often faced with tough decisions. A good leader demonstrates the ability to make timely and well-informed choices, taking into account the best interests of the team or organization. Furthermore, accountability is a key component of leadership. Leaders take responsibility for their actions and decisions, setting an example for accountability throughout the organization.

Adaptability and Resilience: In a rapidly changing world, adaptability is a crucial leadership trait. Good leaders are open to new ideas, willing to embrace change, and adept at navigating uncertainty. Resilience is equally important, allowing leaders to bounce back from setbacks, learn from failures, and inspire their team to persevere through challenges.

Empowerment and Development: A good leader empowers their team by fostering a culture of continuous learning and development. Recognizing and nurturing the potential of each team member not only enhances individual capabilities but also contributes to the overall success of the team. Leaders who invest in the growth of their team create a sustainable and dynamic environment.

Being a good leader is not just about holding a position of authority; it’s about embodying a set of values and qualities that inspire and guide others. Vision, integrity, empathy, effective communication, decisiveness, adaptability, and a commitment to empowerment—all these elements come together to define the essence of leadership. In a world that demands resilience and innovation, good leaders are the driving force behind teams and organizations that not only survive but thrive in the face of change.

If you’re interested in enhancing your leadership, gaining a deeper understanding of your team members, and fostering growth, reach out to me to schedule a team DISC assessment. Additionally, throughout December, I’m providing a session of the Leadership Game for any group seeking an impactful team-building experience.

To contact me, or to make an appointment to find out more go to https://tulincu.com/ and schedule a FREE Discovery call today!

As the season changes and the year draws closer to an end, it’s customary for many to reflect on what they’re thankful for. This past week, however, threw me a curveball as unexpected downtime due to illness forced me to reconsider the importance of rest in our lives. In a bustling world, where productivity often takes center stage, taking a step back and prioritizing rest is a lesson worth learning.

Last week, I found myself facing a sudden and unwelcome obstacle – illness. The to-do list that once seemed manageable quickly became an insurmountable mountain as I faced the reality that some things simply couldn’t be done. This realization, though logical, didn’t stop me from spending too much time berating myself for the unfinished tasks. It’s a common reaction in a society that often values productivity over well-being.

But, in my self-imposed guilt, I started to recognize the importance of rest. It’s easy to be thankful for the tangible accomplishments and milestones, but rarely do we express gratitude for the times we allow ourselves to rest and recharge. Rest isn’t a sign of weakness or laziness; rather, it’s a crucial component of maintaining overall well-being.

During this season of giving thanks, it’s worth pondering why rest seldom makes it to our gratitude lists. We express gratitude for relationships, achievements, and material possessions, but rarely do we acknowledge the value of allowing ourselves the time to rest. In the pursuit of a fulfilling life, we must recognize that rest is not a luxury but a necessity.

As I navigated through my unexpected downtime, I realized that the world wouldn’t come crashing down because I took a break. In fact, embracing rest allowed me to come back with renewed energy and a clearer perspective. It became a lesson in self-compassion and a reminder that our well-being should never be sacrificed at the altar of productivity.

This past week served as a gentle reminder that rest deserves a place in our hearts alongside the more traditional objects of gratitude. As we gather around the table to give thanks, let’s not forget to express appreciation for the times we allow ourselves to rest, recover, and rejuvenate. Embracing rest isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to our commitment to living a balanced and fulfilling life. So, as we navigate the challenges of life, let’s remember that rest is not just a pause button but a vital part of the beauty that is our existence.

Achieving our goals and obtaining the things we have worked so hard for is undoubtedly a gratifying experience. We set our sights on certain objectives, invest time, energy, and resources into them, and eventually reap the rewards. However, there are moments in life when we reach our desired destinations only to discover that our desires have changed. What happens when we find ourselves achieving something we once coveted, but now no longer want? This situation can be puzzling, but it’s not uncommon, and it raises important questions about our evolving desires, values, and personal growth.

Desires are not static; they evolve and adapt as we journey through life. What we want at one point in our lives may not be what we desire at another. This evolution is a natural part of our personal growth and development. As we gain new experiences, acquire new knowledge, and change our perspectives, our desires can shift accordingly.

This shifting nature of desires is particularly evident when it comes to long-term goals and aspirations. Perhaps you worked diligently to attain a specific job, relationship, or material possession, but as you evolve, your priorities and values shift. You may find yourself questioning whether the goals you once pursued still align with your current sense of purpose and happiness.

There may be times when we finally achieve a long-cherished goal, the initial joy and excitement often fade as we become accustomed to the new object or achievement. The thrill of ownership or accomplishment diminishes, and we may realize that the desired object or outcome no longer holds the same allure.

The idea of no longer wanting something we’ve invested considerable time, effort, and resources in can be challenging due to the sunk cost fallacy. This cognitive bias leads us to believe that because we’ve invested so much in a particular goal, we must continue pursuing it, even if it no longer satisfies us or aligns with our evolving desires. As an example…How many people stay at bad jobs or in unhealthy relationships because they feel they’ve invested too much time to give up now?

However, it’s essential to recognize that our past investments should not dictate our future choices. Sunk costs are sunk; they cannot be recovered. Instead, we should assess our current desires and priorities to determine if it’s time to let go and move on. It takes courage to admit that we’ve outgrown a goal or possession, but doing so can lead to greater fulfillment and alignment with our true selves.

When we find ourselves in the situation of no longer desiring what we once worked for, it’s an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Take the time to reevaluate your current desires and values. What truly matters to you now? What goals and aspirations are in alignment with the person you’ve become?

Setting new goals and aspirations that reflect your current values and desires is an essential step in this process. It allows you to channel your energy and passion into pursuits that genuinely resonate with your present self.

Life is a dynamic journey, and our desires and values change as we grow and evolve. It’s not uncommon to reach a point where you no longer want something you once worked diligently to obtain. When this happens, it’s essential to recognize the shifting nature of desires, overcome the sunk cost fallacy, and embrace the opportunity to reevaluate and set new goals. By doing this, you can ensure that your life remains a reflection of your authentic self and find true fulfillment in your pursuits.

Change is a fundamental part of life. Whether it’s personal growth, professional development, or societal progress, change is a constant. However, change often starts from within, and one of the most significant catalysts for personal transformation is changing the way you think. Your mindset, beliefs, and thought patterns play a pivotal role in determining the direction and magnitude of change in your life.

Your mindset, or your mental attitude, shapes how you perceive the world, how you interpret events, and how you respond to challenges. In short, it’s how you view reality. The two primary types of mindsets are a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

A fixed mindset is characterized by a belief that abilities, intelligence, and qualities are static. People with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges, give up easily, and view failures as a reflection of their inadequacy. They are less likely to take risks or embrace opportunities for change.

On the other hand, a growth mindset sees abilities and intelligence as qualities that can be developed through dedication and hard work. Those with a growth mindset embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see failures as opportunities for learning and growth. This mindset fosters a willingness to change and adapt.

Beyond mindset, your beliefs and thought patterns significantly influence your behavior and the results you achieve. If you hold limiting beliefs such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed,” these beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Your thoughts, consciously or unconsciously, guide your actions, decisions, and interactions with others.

To create lasting change in your life, you need to challenge and, when necessary, revise these limiting beliefs and thought patterns. By identifying and altering negative thought patterns, you can open doors to personal growth and transformation.

Here are some steps to help change how you think.

1. Self-awareness: The first step in changing your thinking is self-awareness. Reflect on your mindset, beliefs, and thought patterns. Are they serving you well, or are they holding you back?

2. Challenge limiting beliefs: Identify and challenge any limiting beliefs that may be hindering your progress. Replace them with empowering beliefs that support your goals.

3. Cultivate a growth mindset: Embrace a growth mindset that encourages learning, resilience, and adaptability. See challenges as opportunities for growth, and view failures as valuable lessons.

4. Practice positive thinking: Cultivate a habit of positive thinking. Focus on your strengths and achievements, and use affirmations to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

5. Surround yourself with positivity: Surrounding yourself with positive influences, such as supportive friends, mentors, and inspirational materials, can help reinforce your efforts to change your thinking.

6. Set clear goals: Define your goals and create a plan for achieving them. Your mindset and thinking should align with your objectives to facilitate change.

In the journey of personal growth and transformation, changing the way you think is a fundamental and essential step. Your mindset, beliefs, and thought patterns can either be barriers that hold you back or catalysts for your success. By embracing a growth mindset, challenging limiting beliefs, and cultivating positive thinking, you can harness the power of your thoughts to effect meaningful change in your life. Remember, you won’t change if you don’t change how you think. So, start today and embark on a path of personal growth and self-improvement. If you’re not sure where to start or are stuck and need help taking the next step, connect with me and set up a free consultation and together we’ll get you on the right path. #changeyourmindset #positivemindset #dothework

Tick-tock, tick-tock. Time marches on, and with each passing moment, our lives unfold. But have you ever stopped to wonder: When does “someday” finally arrive?

We’ve all said it, haven’t we? “Someday, I’ll travel the world.” “Someday, I’ll write that novel.” “Someday, I’ll chase my dreams.” Yet, as the hands of our watches spin relentlessly, that elusive “someday” seems to remain just out of reach.

Time is a precious and finite resource. It’s the one currency we cannot earn more of, nor can we save it for later. So, when does that mythical “someday” become today?

1️⃣ The Present is Your Someday: In the grand scheme of life, today is your someday. Right now, in this very moment, you have the power to take the first step toward your dreams. Don’t let the allure of a distant future prevent you from acting today.

2️⃣ Plan with Purpose: Set goals, create a vision, and craft a roadmap to your aspirations. “Someday” becomes a whole lot clearer when you have a plan in place. Your watch can remind you to set tangible milestones and track your progress.

3️⃣ Embrace the Journey: Instead of fixating on a distant destination, savor the journey. Life is a collection of moments, and “someday” is just a series of todays. Enjoy the small steps and celebrate each accomplishment along the way.

4️⃣ Don’t Wait for Perfect Timing: There’s no such thing as a perfect moment. So, when you look at your watch, remember that now is the only moment that truly exists. If you’re waiting for everything to align perfectly, you’ll wait forever.

5️⃣ Overcome Procrastination: Procrastination is the thief of “someday.” Break tasks into manageable pieces, find your motivation, and tackle them one by one. Your watch is a reminder that time waits for no one, and neither should you.

6️⃣ Prioritize and Focus: Time management is key. Identify your top priorities and concentrate your efforts on them. When you glance at your watch, it’s a call to allocate your minutes and hours to what truly matters.

So, when you next look at your watch, ask yourself: When does “someday” strike? The answer is clear—it strikes when you decide that today is the day to take action, to embrace your dreams, and to make the most of the time you have.

Remember, your watch may tick away, but it’s your choices that determine when “someday” becomes today. ⏰💫 #SeizeTheMoment #MakeSomedayToday

Even if you don’t realize it, you talk to yourself about yourself all day, every day. Are you even aware of what you’re saying to yourself? Most of us aren’t. Our thoughts about ourselves are usually on autopilot.

Do you know that a National Science Foundation study found that most of us have between 60-80 THOUSAND individual thoughts per day and that up to 80% of them are negative and up to 95% of those are repetitive, according to TopMentalGame.com.

Take a minute and think about something you REALLY want to do. What keeps you from doing it? A lot of answers will be time or money. But if we dig deeper, the real answer would be we don’t think we could do it. That if we tried, we would fail. Because if we really wanted to do it, nothing would stand in our way.

It’s like the famous quote from Jim Rohn, “If you really want to do something you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

How often do you encourage yourself compared to how many times have you put yourself down for not being perfect enough instead of celebrating the fact that at least you tried? Try to keep in mind that when you try and fail you can learn from that failure about what worked and what didn’t, and try another way. Failure is not a reason to quit on yourself.

Many of us don’t even know where to start to have better self-talk because of our upbringing. We were told “no” more than “yes” or put down more often than we were lifted up and now the burden of success is on us. It starts with working on ourselves to overcome what has been ingrained in us from the beginning of our lives and often hammered home by adult relationships whether personal or professional.

You CAN change it. But you have to do the work. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Most definitely. If you want to change your life you have to change the way you think about yourself. And it’s not as hard as you think.

Start this week by making a list of your best personal qualities. Try to get at least 10 of them. For some of us, even that step is hard. If you’re struggling to come up with anything then ask someone you trust to help you out.

Once you have those positive words to describe you, pick the one that resonates the most with you and focus on it every day. What you focus on, grows. Each day try to keep track of how often you think positively or negatively about yourself. You can even keep a running tally on your phone or a slip of paper. And as you focus on your greatest positive attribute, see how that tally changes. Next week, pick a new positive word and add it to your prior focus word and keep it growing each week.

Inner work and changing the way we think about ourselves can be hard. You have to be intentional. But before you can add value to others you need to know how valuable you are. And trust me when I tell you that you are valuable.

I want to encourage you to make a difference in your own life. I’ve got your back.

#selftalk #positive #innerwork #healingjourney

I remember a time when I was younger, I was lying on my bed, distraught as teenage girls often are, and my mom peeked in and asked me if I was ok. I told her I was feeling stressed because everyone I knew was coming to me with their problems for some reason, but I had no idea how to help them all.  She stepped into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, brushed the hair out of my face, and told me I didn’t need to carry such a heavy burden because it wasn’t my responsibility to save the world. I replied to her, “Maybe not, but I can try.”

Fast forward to adulthood. Oh, how I remember feeling like that meme! I carried that desire to help others into my work life. I ended up being the go-to person whenever management needed help mentoring new hires or struggling coworkers, even though it wasn’t officially part of my job. But I really enjoyed doing it so I never complained.

One day, as I was performing a summation task I had done hundreds of times, I suddenly went blank and had no idea what I was doing. I figured maybe I was just tired so I opened the training spreadsheet we gave to new hires to use, so I could let it do the calculations for me. When I saw how far off my calculations were, I panicked a little bit. Then I realized most of my other files probably had calculation errors too and as my panic grew, I actually ended up having my first panic attack. I messaged my boss and told him I wasn’t feeling well and needed to take the rest of the day off then immediately clocked out.

I was working from home so I walked to the living room and sat on my couch. I didn’t feel right so I decided to call my doctor to see if she could find out what was going on with me. I went in and had some tests done and when the results came back, she called with the results and asked if I had been under a lot of stress lately. I told her I wasn’t feeling stressed, I just didn’t feel normal. She told me that my adrenal system was completely drained like I’d been living in fight or flight mode for a really long time. And when I thought about it, it made sense. My job had become a routine of all give and no take. Lots of overtime, no vacation, and I found no fulfillment in my work. The stress of it all could no longer be controlled and it was time I did something about it.

That’s when I decided to hire a career coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up and maybe find some satisfaction in a job.  I worked with her for months, updating my resume, taking assessments, and sending in dozens of applications and not getting one call back. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting any interviews but finally realized that each time I applied, I hadn’t made the resume changes for each job I was applying for and was silently saying to myself, “I hope I don’t get this,” so I knew my heart wasn’t in it. I shared that with my coach, and she reminded me that since all my assessments and everything I had told her showed I was the happiest when I was helping others improve, maybe I should do what she did and become a career coach.

I thought that was a great idea, and I started working on getting certifications.

However, after I completed my first few certifications geared towards career coaching, I thought that some of my clients may still feel like there were gaps even after getting a new job like I had felt. So, I decided to study life coaching. I feel that having a more holistic approach to coaching and being able to touch on someone’s life outside of a person’s job would be a more complete approach to coaching since life and work often collide and affect each other.

So many people are struggling with work-life balance or even being in a job that they may be good at but aren’t a good fit for. It can cause issues in their personal lives and even affect their health as it had mine.

I’ve invested years in self-discovery, research, and specialized education to help others.

I’m here to empower you, whether you’re an individual seeking personal or professional growth or a team striving for professional excellence.

Let’s embark on this transformative journey together and build the bridge to your ultimate success, where your authentic self meets your fullest potential!

Happiness. Everyone is in pursuit of happiness.

Happiness is something we pursue for its own sake. Every goal we set we do it in hopes that when we reach that goal, we’re going to be happy or at least happier than we are now. 

Have you ever heard of the Hedonic Treadmill? The hedonic treadmill is a metaphor for the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another thinking that when we finally reach a goal we’ll be happy. Having goals and setting goals are GOOD! But discontent can become addictive, hence the treadmill. Going, going, going with no end. Once we’ve gotten on that treadmill and we’ve reached our goal we get to what’s called Hedonic adaptation. It’s the tendency for us to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major events regardless if they are positive or negative. Maybe you really want a new car. And you save everything you can for six months in order to get that car. You go to the dealer, test drive, smell the new interior, feel the power behind the acceleration and you can’t wait to sign on the dotted line. You get through the transaction, drive off the lot and bring that baby home. Every morning you head to the garage a little early so you can take the scenic route to work and spend a little more time in your new car. But eventually, it rains and the car needs to be washed. And your kid spilled their juice in the back seat. And the hair from the pet you so dearly love is now stuck to the upholstery. The love affair is fading and your brand-new car is now just a car. It’s still beautiful and it still gets you where you’re going in style but the excitement is gone. So, we return to the treadmill because the thought of new wood floors in the family room sure sounds nice! And we step back onto the treadmill seeking our next moment of happiness (kind of like what people call chasing a high). That is unless we start to evaluate what happiness truly means to us.

One way to start defining your happiness is when you set a goal, any goal, ask yourself “How is this goal going to increase my happiness? And will the end justify the means?” – meaning will it be worth the sacrifice you’re going to make in order to reach your goal.

And every goal does have a sacrifice. Maybe you want to be more successful in business or make more money? Your sacrifice may be spending more time at work or in school instead of doing something else you really want to do like spending time with loved ones or doing other activities that you enjoy.

What about losing weight and getting in shape? You’ll likely sacrifice the food you love and the comfort it may bring you. You’ll sacrifice free time working out. Maybe even give up some sleep if you decide you need to get up earlier to fit that workout in. You’ll sacrifice money spent on new clothes.

So, you really need to ask yourself, is it worth it? And most times that answer will be yes.

Now ask yourself what reaching this goal will give you that you don’t already have. It may be more money and the security it can bring. Or maybe a healthier body so you can live longer and have more time with your loved ones. But by asking this question, it helps to validate your yes, confirming it will be worth the sacrifice. And sometimes this is where we find out it’s not worth it or doesn’t align with our true values.

As we work on our goals (pursuing our happiness) it’s important to celebrate the small victories. It makes the journey more tolerable and if we make celebrating the small stuff a habit, we may start looking forward to the sacrifice and see our progress which makes reaching our goal more likely.

It’s important to be an active participant in your own life. To live with intention.

Take a moment and ask yourself what brings you joy in your life. It can be something simple, like for me, I love being outside and I start every morning spending time in my backyard with my dogs. I love it and it makes for a peaceful start to my day. Maybe you find joy in reading a book, working on cars, or having a phone call with a friend. Whatever it is, look for a way to incorporate a small moment of joy in every single day. Even if you have to schedule it.

On the flip side, ask yourself what has a tendency to drain joy from your life. Pay attention to how you feel around certain people, or doing certain activities (like being on social media maybe). And then look for ways to reduce or if possible, eliminate those things that drain your joy. 

Research shows that when we have a positive impact on others it helps us put our own lives in perspective and it boosts our own happiness. So, I want to leave you with this challenge- find a way today or sometime this week, to boost someone else’s happiness. Let that become a habit and watch your own happiness grow.

#happiness #personaldevelopment #goals #growth #contentment

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