Whoo! So…hey friends! What’s good today?

I know it’s been a hot minute since I posted anything here. To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve written at all. And since I’m being honest, it’s time also to get real.

Next month will be two years since my entire life changed. It was the day I packed up my life and moved 1,556 (door to door) miles away.

Anyone who knows me knows that 12 has always been my favorite number and when the first blow came on April 12th, 2018, I thought I would have to abandon that number that had marked all kinds of important things in my life.

Then came May 24th  (the day before my move), and the second blow came. My life was so upside down that a shaken snow globe had less chaos than my soul. Losing two people I was so close to, shut me down.

Some might say I ran away and looking back now, I can’t say that’s a total lie.

I worked so hard to move on with my life that I forced myself to become numb to everything in it. I focused solely on work and not even to get ahead! It was only so I didn’t have time to think about anything else.

I was on autopilot. I was even just functioning through my faith.  I had to ask others to pray for me because when I tried to pray, it was just words. Thank you God, for never forsaking me. Like the perfect Father that you are, you waited patiently. It’s not like I went in the wrong direction. I just ceased to be me or feel anything.

In the past two years, I have changed jobs, changed addresses, experienced life, and experienced death. I lost one best friend to circumstance, one to suicide, I have laid in a hospital bed and held my dying mother, I have cradled my constant companion Nordy in my arms as he struggled to cling to life, only to see God restore both of them and give them more time. You don’t go through that without it changing you.

Fast forward almost two years as I sit in my home office in the house I love, and I can say finally, I don’t regret it.

But oh, what a process getting to this point. There was a while that I could honestly say I lost myself.

Slowly over the last nine months or so, I’ve started to open myself back up to life, but I am very particular what I let in. I’m still me, but at the same time, I’m not. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense to anyone reading this, but you can’t go through deep pain without gaining some scars. And now that I’m emerging on the other side of it, I don’t think I even knew how much it changes you.

I have found as I am restoring myself that I am still me at the core, but the blocks that I am using to rebuild are carefully chosen. Even the music I listen to is different.

I wake up each morning and can feel that I am stronger in ways I’ve never experienced before. I can no longer tolerate anything that drains me, and as soon as it starts to, it has to go. That includes jobs, people, heck, even movies.

I’m not saying I won’t or can’t go through tough times and keep grinding, but my time is precious, and I’m done wasting it on things that won’t matter six months from now.

Going through all of this by myself I now truly understand the saying, “I know what I bring to the table so trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone,” without fear.  Because I learned through all of this that the ones that matter will ALWAYS be there.

I know this wasn’t some long profound post, but I just wanted to reach out and let you all know I’m still here…and there…LOL! I’ve missed you, and I’ve missed me, and I’m working on coming back.

Stay safe friends, and let’s get together again soon. Until that time, remember to be kind.

I’m sorry for the extended absence again but I’ll be back soon with an article. Just please keep in mind, as we enter the last days before Thanksgiving, don’t forget to be thankful for the hard times as well as the easy. They teach us things we otherwise wouldn’t learn.
#thankful #grateful #godisgreaterthanthehighsandlows #lessons #blessings #grace #mercy #strength #growth

Good morning friends! What’s good today?

So, last Friday was my last day of training. I have to tell you, I’ve been through a lot of corporate training in my life, but this one was the best one I’ve had.

The instructor was engaging, funny, real, and yet even with all the information being shoved at us every minute of the day, she managed to get us all to retain it and learn something! It was great!

We all came in on Thursday morning, and she was really tired and explained to us why. She told us she has an immense love of karaoke and that she had been doing it the night before and stayed up later than normal. We all started asking her questions about it and come to find out that before she was a corporate trainer, she was a school teacher! No wonder why she knew how to make learning fun! But, not only was she a school teacher, she was a music teacher. Now the love of karaoke was making more sense.

After almost two weeks of intense training, we were all getting a little squirrely and tired of sitting in class, so she made us a deal. If we all did really well on our last test, she would sing us a song.

DEAL!

The test was handed out, and we all sighed (like a bunch of children) but got into it so we could get it done. It was a longer test than the prior ones we had earlier in the week, so it took some time. But, once the last person turned theirs in, we realized we still had to wait for them to be graded before she’d come through on her promise.

Oh, the waiting!

We passed the time discussing what kinds of music we liked, asked her what she liked to sing, and started to get to know each other on a little more personal level since we had nothing but free time.

Finally, near the end of the day, after everything was complete, she agreed to do a song, which also meant we all did great on our tests, BTW.

We made suggestions but ultimately let her pick what she felt like singing, and as she brought up the karaoke version on the overhead of what she was going to sing, the class chatter grew pretty quiet.

We saw who the artist was.

Adele.

And she wasn’t going to sing just any Adele song, but she was going to sing THAT song. You know the one.

The music starts, she opens her mouth, and we all gasp.

From this little, almost cherub looking, brilliant woman, with her long, messy hair clasped to the back of her head, came a voice that shut us all up quickly. And then it started…

“I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now

I heard that your dreams came true
I guess she gave you things
I didn’t give to you”.

And before you knew it, what I am going to refer to as “The Adele effect” took over. The lady next to me was casually trying to wipe away tears, some of the men were clearing their throats and finding the ceiling very interesting, and me? Oh, I was suddenly organizing the papers in front of me better than Marie Kondo.

For a moment, titles and positions didn’t exist because when it was over, almost everyone in that room looked like their heart was freshly broken. I came to find out for a few it really wasn’t that long ago. For others, it had been a while. But, it just goes to show that no matter how long it’s been, the painful scars within us may be less pronounced over time, but they never truly leave us.

Prestige doesn’t cushion it. Gender doesn’t shield it. Money can’t buy it away.

Not all our reasons were or are the same, but heartache is a common bond shared by all of humankind.

Who knew corporate training could be so personally enlightening?

Just another day in the odd life of me.

Have a blessed week friends, and remember to be kind and gentle with one another.

**I do not own the rights to this song**

Hi friends! I’m sorry I missed last week, but you know, life.

I started my new job two weeks ago, and so far I really like it! For the first time in I can’t remember when I feel like I am contributing to something bigger and better and have a purpose. It feels great knowing I’m not watching the clock and dying to rush out the door with everyone else at 5 pm. Then again, I normally can’t rush out then, and if I did, I would simply be bringing more work home, but honestly, I don’t mind! At some point I will have a lead and mentor under me so that will help A LOT! But until then…it’s me. So, because of that and the fact that I am actually participating in life, I have been thinking about doing Nordy’s Garage maybe every other week instead of trying for every week.

Let’s be honest; I haven’t been that good about getting it out every week anyway with as busy as I’ve been. And I don’t ever want this to feel like it’s something I HAVE to do or squeeze in. This odd little page means a lot to me, and I want it to continue being fun.

I’ve taken a lot of notes on my phone this week of things I wanted to write about and maybe one day I will, but none of them felt like what I wanted to say today. And one day I will write a book with the details of what caused all of this (Nordy’s Garage) and continuing events that have kept me writing. But for now, you get the drive-by version of those things. One day I’ll be brave enough to lay it all bare.

You know, I thought when I moved to Texas that I had done a lot of changing and it was coming to an end and I was settling into “me” but I’m finding the metamorphosis continues.

There have been a lot of people who have encouraged me in all kinds of ways along my journey, but there is one person who I don’t think is aware of how much of an influence she has been.

Her name is Abby, and she has no idea what she’s done, which in itself is a testimony to me. It makes a person realize that they never know who they are influencing in any way, at any time.

Abby and I have known each other for over 20 years. Our (ex) husbands were stationed at the same base and we met when our kids were in kindergarten together. We weren’t close at that time. We were both busy moms.

But we came across each other again many years later and found we both were in the same boat. This time not busy moms but, divorced. We started chatting again, sharing battlefield stories of dating and the scars we wore from it.

And in time, we bonded. Over laughter, tears, chats, and Jesus…on Facebook. We were states apart but our hearts were growing closer. We talked about the men in our lives, pets, work, and kids. We shared our fears and frustrations in life, going through breakups and breakdowns, both finding our way through life and supporting each other when we could.

But she didn’t know how much I was paying attention. As I was working hard and becoming who my job and life needed me to be, she was becoming more herself.

Then one day I noticed a man being talked about on her page and before I knew it, she was engaged, then married!!

She is a dedicated nurse at a VA hospital and then suddenly decided to also become a LimeLife beauty guide! Again, I watched as this once fairly quiet lady bloomed and became one of the most real women I have ever known.

This once shy person (who thought she was too imperfect to stand out) is now doing live video tutorials, sans make-up, wet hair sometimes, in the middle of the night/early mornings as she is getting off shift, or before she goes in to work for the night, sharing her love of The Father and empowering women and encouraging everyone. She is there, online, even if she thinks no one is watching just in case someone needs it.

But I was watching. Not every night. But I was watching the transformation of this tender heart become vulnerable so other women could be brave too.

It is partly because of this woman’s transformation that I am where I am today.

I saw this woman almost personally dare me to be legitimately me again. Not the version that a potential employer might want was my career was growing. Not the face that the public might want to see. But me. The real me. She has encouraged me to be true to myself and my needs, and I can’t tell you what a difference it has made in my life.

She has cemented in me that when I am genuinely myself, I will attract what is good for me. It caused me to be completely transparent when I interviewed for my current position. It has helped me to remember not to compromise when buying my house, no matter what anyone else thinks is good for me, because I am the one living there and I want it to be my sanctuary. And to not think I have to be perfect because people who really love me will love my imperfections (uniqueness) the most.

So, Abby, this one is for you. Thank you, my friend, my sister in heart. Keep on being genuinely you and making the world a better place everywhere you shine. I owe some of my success to you!!

Friends, remember to be YOU, everyone else is taken. 😊

You can check out my beautiful friend at https://www.facebook.com/abbyneumann24

Hi Friends!! What’s good?

As most of you know, I just got back from vacation. It was long overdue, and I had such a wonderful time! The condo was almost perfect and decorated as if Chip and Joanna had been there personally. It was so relaxing to get up in the morning and have coffee in the sunroom overlooking the pool after climbing out of the overstuffed, pillow-topped bed I had slept in the night before while surrounded by ultra-soft king-sized pillows.

A lot of the trip was spent eating at “must try” locations and having so many new and exciting experiences.  I got to enjoy a town that was so eclectic that it honestly surprised me! I know for myself and a for a lot of people the thought of a vacation is a luxury and something that doesn’t happen very often, so I tried to soak in as much as possible. But it didn’t hit me how much of a luxury it was until the last day.

I was eating at the final “must try” stop on the trip and was thinking about how much food was on the table and how much food I was leaving behind to get thrown away, and I was even taking food home with me! At that moment it struck me how THAT is the epitome of luxury. To be able to waste food. There are millions of people in this world who won’t have as much food in a month as I had on that table yesterday. The person who cleaned off my table most likely threw away more food than some will have in a week. And the tip that I left could have fed a family for days in some parts of the world. But I do not feel guilty about it nor should I. I feel very blessed to be allowed to have the life that I do. But looking at it from the perspective that I did yesterday helped to make me much more aware so that I can make changes and do better in the future regarding helping in ways I hadn’t thought of before.

For many years I have been in survival mode and it caused me to be singularly focused. I took chances a lot of other people would never have taken in order make opportunities for myself. I have been called brave and I have been called crazy for some of it, but I will not be made to feel ashamed for enjoying the fruits of my hard work. However, I will admit I need to do better at recognizing what a blessing it is to now be able to help others more.

And on that thought…For those who have encouraged me to keep on when I felt like quitting, for those who gave Nordy and I a place to lay our heads as we traveled or moved, for those that fed me, let me cry, prayed for and with me, and for those who gave a reference that allowed me to get the job that I am starting on Monday morning, I am beyond grateful! I would not be where I am without you!

This position is the next step of a new life for myself (and The Nord of course). It will allow me to be in a place of (very small) influence that I need to use with grace and the promise to uplift as many as I can along the way and to share God’s blessings and love. Also, to help others reach their potential, and for me to be more involved in making my community a better one.

I have so many ideas in my mind of things I want to do. I feel like the ball is just now starting to roll. My dream is growing and I have those who love me to thank. Please keep the prayers and encouragement coming so that I can do all that God would have for me to do while I am able!

Have a great week, friends!! Let’s keep the momentum going!

Hi, Friends!! What’s good today?

As I was praying and pondering about what to write this week, I was thinking about my journey the last many years and the things I’ve experienced.

I’m sure at times many of you, just like me, have thought “what else can go wrong?” or “will anything ever be easy?”. And it seems during those times people will try to encourage you and say things like, “It’s temporary,” “This too shall pass” (or something along those lines) or if you are a bible believer you are asked, “what about Job?”.

These things are really hard to hear when you’re in the middle of a tough time, and I feel it’s rather dismissive to say even if well-intentioned by those saying it.

If we’re honest, the truth is, most often the bad times don’t last. But we sure don’t think or feel that way when we’re overwhelmed, and we find ourselves doing everything we can to get it to pass quickly so we can be on to the good things in life. Which again if you are honest, also do not last.

Although I am not there yet, I dream of owning my own business one day. But until then, I believe God has allowed me to go through trials and hardships, along with blessings, to get me to where I am right now. With each tribulation, each frustrating job, every tear shed, if I paid attention or looked back, there was likely something I did or could learn from it. I don’t know too many (if any) lessons that I’ve learned when the going was easy. Sure, I enjoyed the good times, but those weren’t the times that I grew.

There have been so many times I’ve doubted myself when things didn’t seem to be working out. I felt I was doing something wrong, or worse, that there was something wrong with me. All the while, not realizing I was being refined for something more.

You see, I have been offered a wonderful position with a great company doing something I’ve been hoping for, for a very long time. And considering my dream, this new career path that I am on will certainly better prepare me. But I had to go through the times that I have and work in positions and for people that made my life so hard at times that I wasn’t sure how I’d make it through the next day. All to put me in alignment for my new assignment.

What I’d like to do is to encourage you to “patiently wait” (yeah I don’t like that term either) while working through the trials and hardships and look for the joy (not to be confused with happiness) in those times knowing they can be forming you for something you don’t yet see.

I can’t imagine how my life would be if I would have given up along the way. (Don’t think I didn’t consider it more than once)

I’d be very grateful if you would remember me in your thoughts and prayers so that I can be an effective leader as I take on this new position in life and that I can help others to grow and reach their full potential.

I’ll be on (real) vacation next week so who knows what I’ll come up with to share!!! Until then, stay kind and gracious, friends.

Hi friends! What’s good today?

Here’s what’s good in my Lil world. I’ve got my desk space and my new computer and it feels so good to have a little part of me back.

You see I’ve been living “temporary” for almost 2 months now and it’s been a little different for me. I miss having my space, being surrounded by my stuff. You know, those things that bring me comfort and make me feel at home.

Let me ask you this; have you ever found yourself at a crossroads and not sure which road to take?

What if you had the opportunity for a second chance at something? Would you take it and use the knowledge you gained the first time around knowing what you’re facing? What if you had the chance to do it again, looking at it with fresh eyes and new wisdom?

Or would you take a pass and try something new, unfamiliar, maybe something better, even if the path was unsure and long?

I think this is something we all face in our lives in big and small ways.

You see I’m at that point in my life right now.

I mentioned a job that I had offered to me that I accepted. I went to work on my first day and found out that there had been a “miscommunication” of sorts and that although still good, the pay was not what was advertised or agreed to (it was a small base pay + commission to potentially equal what was agreed to during the interview) and the same miscommunication regarding the work location (the office was over an hour away and it was sold to me as a remote job so I could work from home) with the reality being I was expected to be in the office.

This job was in the same career field that I’ve been in for years, the office environment was very casual and relaxed and everyone seemed nice but I knew when this came to light that I would have to decline the offer.

This is what has put me at my crossroads. I have the potential for other job opportunities in a career that I’ve wanted for a long time but not in a place I particularly want to be. While other things seem to distract me in another direction.

I am not in a position to worry about HAVING to have a job. And I keep saying I wanted to take time off to pursue my passions for a while but the kind of person that I am (driven/workaholic) is torn because time off = no pay and I worry that if I wait too long the chance might pass me by for what could be a good thing.

I know it seems like a big DUH for most people looking at it but put yourself in my shoes. Do you go with the stable, good thing?

Or do you (patiently…HA HA) wait and keep working at your passion and meanwhile try to find something else stable not knowing if any of it will work out how you hope and continue to live temporarily in hopes that it will happen?

My brain and my heart are at war. So, until I figure it out, I’m hanging out on middle ground.

Hopefully next week I’ll have an update, and if not, I’ll just add to the confusion!

Take care, friends. Be kind to your crazy people…I am one of them…LOL!

I used to pray, I mean literally pray that my mind would slow down and stop being so busy because it used to be almost overwhelming. But after everything that I’ve gone through in the past 18 months my brain has almost completely shut down.

I find myself almost numb to life, and that is so unlike me.

I have even been struggling to find things to write about here, and this used to be my biggest passion.

At times I have wanted to give up and forget about it, but then I think about my why. Why do I do this blog? Why did I start it?

Because I wanted to help. Someone. Anyone.

If by me telling my story or doing what I can to uplift someone and it makes even a little difference in their life, I have to keep on.

Maybe someone will be able to relate to something I say, and they will not feel so alone.

But it gets hard trying to let myself be vulnerable. I can share all the feel-good passages I come across, and it may brighten someone’s day a little, but what I really hope for is to let someone know that they are not alone.

You are not alone when you put the kids to bed at night, get undressed, and take your aching body to the bathroom so you can cry in the shower because life is kicking your butt and you have to publically hold it together and not let anyone see you being “weak”.

You are not alone when you can’t find your way, and you have no idea where your next paycheck is coming from, and you have to swallow your pride and ask for help.

You are not alone when life’s rug is pulled out from under you when the love of your life tells you they love someone new and you have to watch them move one with their life.

You are not alone when you stand in the middle of the kitchen and scream to God and ask Him why your friend silently took their life without dropping a clue to anyone.

So, I’m going to work harder at this thing. I’m going to stop avoiding what God has placed in my heart and the path set before me, and I will try to remember this; “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt