self-care

What If Your Money Mindset Matters More Than Your Income?

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We often think money is all about numbers: budgets, balances, debt, and credit scores. And sure, those things matter. But I’ll let you in on something that’s not on most spreadsheets: gratitude has a direct impact on your financial life. And it’s bigger than you think.

You might be wondering, What does being thankful have to do with paying off debt or building wealth? The short answer? Everything.

Gratitude calms your spending triggers

When you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have, it’s easy to slip into the “I deserve this” spending spiral. You’re stressed, you’re tired, and suddenly that $70 online cart looks like self-care.

But when you’re grounded in gratitude, your perspective changes. You stop chasing happiness with your wallet because you’re already finding contentment in what you have. You’re not immune to temptation (none of us is), but you’re not ruled by it, either.

Gratitude says: “What I have is enough.”
And that mindset can slow down impulse spending faster than any budgeting app.

Gratitude brings awareness to what matters

When you’re grateful, you start paying attention. You see where your money is going and whether it lines up with your values.

You realize that the $120 a month going to random subscriptions you barely think about could be helping you save for something that truly matters, like your child’s education, your next big trip, or simply being able to breathe easier when bills come around.

Gratitude clears the fog. It reminds you that financial progress isn’t always about having more. It’s about using what you already have with intention.

Gratitude builds a mindset that welcomes abundance

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m just bad with money,” or “I’ll never get ahead,” that mindset becomes your ceiling. But gratitude pokes a hole in it.

When you start noticing the good, your ability to earn, your resourcefulness, and your progress start to improve, and you begin to believe that more is possible. That belief changes how you act. You ask for the raise. You start the side hustle. You get serious about your goals.

Gratitude doesn’t just make you feel better, it makes you bolder. And boldness leads to better financial choices.

I once worked with a woman who was drowning in credit card debt. She felt stuck, ashamed, and overwhelmed. But instead of starting with spreadsheets, we started with a simple gratitude practice. Every morning, she wrote down three things she was thankful for, even if it was just her morning coffee, her kids’ laughter, or getting to work on time.

It didn’t fix the debt overnight. But it did change her energy. She stopped spiraling. She stopped beating herself up. And with that clarity, she created a plan. Today, she’s paid off two of her four cards, built a small emergency fund, and told me, “I finally feel proud of myself again.”

That’s the power of gratitude.

How to practice gratitude with your money

You don’t need a journal and a sunrise (although that’s lovely too). Start small:

  • The next time you pay a bill, pause and say, “I’m grateful I can cover this.”
  • When you grocery shop, be thankful you have food and choices.
  • When you review your finances, celebrate progress—even $10 saved is a win.
  • Look back at past financial “mistakes” and instead of shame, thank them for the lessons they taught you.

Money isn’t usually a math problem. It’s an emotional one. Gratitude won’t magically erase debt or double your bank account overnight, but it will change how you approach money. And that change is the starting point for everything else.

Because when you shift your mindset from “not enough” to “I’m already rich in so many ways,” your money starts working with you, not against you.

And it can all start with one small thank-you.

Guilt is Not a Bill You Have to Pay

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Let’s be real: talking about money can be awkward.
Setting boundaries around it? Even harder.

Maybe you’ve felt that little pang of guilt when you say no to a friend’s expensive birthday trip. Or when a family member asks for a loan and you know deep down it’s not a good idea — but you still wrestle with it.

The truth is, having strong financial boundaries isn’t about being stingy or selfish.
It’s about protecting your peace, your goals, and your future.

If you’ve ever struggled to say no without feeling bad, you’re definitely not alone.
Let’s talk about why financial boundaries are so important — and some simple ways you can set them without carrying around a ton of guilt.

Why You Need Financial Boundaries (Even If You’re a Generous Person)

Money isn’t just numbers. It’s tied to emotions, habits, and relationships. When you don’t have clear financial boundaries, a few things start to happen:

  • You spend money you didn’t plan to spend.
  • You end up feeling resentful or stressed.
  • Your long-term goals (like paying off debt or saving for a new home) take a backseat.

Good boundaries actually allow you to be MORE generous — just in a way that’s healthy for you.

When you take care of yourself first, you’re able to give and support others from a place of strength, not guilt or burnout.

Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Your financial behavior sets an invisible example. People will learn to respect your limits.

How to Set Financial Boundaries Without the Guilt

Here are a few ways to make it feel natural (and maybe even empowering):

1. Know Exactly What You’re Protecting

Before you set a boundary, get clear on why you need it.
It’s not just about saving money — it’s about what that money is for.

Maybe you’re saving for:

  • A home
  • An emergency fund
  • A once-in-a-lifetime trip
  • Paying off debt so you can breathe easier

When you know your “why,” it’s easier to stick to your “no.”
You’re not just saying no to someone else — you’re saying yes to your bigger dreams.

Quick tip: Write your “why” on a sticky note or put it as the wallpaper on your phone. Remind yourself often.

2. Make a “Generosity Budget”

Here’s a hack you might not hear often:
Set aside money every month just for giving or spontaneous treats.

It could be $20, $50, or whatever fits your budget. This money is guilt-free.
So when a fundraiser pops up or a friend invites you out, you’ll know exactly what you can spend without stressing.

It feels SO much better to say, “I’d love to help — here’s what I can do,” instead of scrambling or feeling guilty.

3. Practice Gentle Ways to Say No

You don’t need to give long explanations or apologize for your choices.
Here are a few phrases you can use that feel kind but firm:

  • “I’m keeping my spending really simple right now.”
  • “That’s not in my budget this month, but I hope it’s an amazing time!”
  • “I have a financial goal I’m working toward, so I’ll have to pass this time.”

Using words like “choosing” and “working toward” shows you’re being intentional — not just rejecting them.

4. Watch Out for Emotional Spending Traps

It’s not always big decisions like loans or vacations that sneak up on you.
Sometimes it’s the little things you do out of guilt, like:

  • Picking up the tab (again) because you don’t want to seem cheap.
  • Buying expensive gifts you can’t really afford.
  • Saying yes to events you don’t even want to attend.

Try this for one week:
Every time you spend money, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I want to — or because I feel like I have to?”

You’ll be amazed at what you notice.

5. Remember the Hidden Costs of Saying “Yes”

It’s not just about the money you’re spending.
It’s also about:

  • The time you’re giving up
  • The energy you’re draining
  • The opportunities you’re delaying

Example: If you spend $500 on a weekend trip you didn’t really want to take, that’s $500 you could have put toward your dream vacation or paid down a credit card.

When you think about the full cost, it gets easier to make choices that feel good later — not just in the moment.

Boundaries = Freedom
Setting financial boundaries isn’t shutting people out.
It’s making sure you don’t shut yourself down later because you’re stressed, broke, or overwhelmed.

You deserve a life that feels free, not frantic. And that starts with honoring your goals, trusting your choices, and knowing that real friends and family will respect your boundaries.

You’re not being stingy.
You’re being smart.

Every time you set a healthy financial boundary, you’re making a bold declaration:

 I am choosing my future self over fleeting pressure.
 I am protecting my peace and prosperity.
 I trust that real relationships will respect my “no” as much as my “yes.”

You’re not greedy. You’re not selfish. You’re being a wise steward of your money and your life.

And that, my friend, is something to feel proud of — not feel guilty for.

Money on Your Mind?

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Money stress is real. Whether you’re staring down a stack of bills, going through a job change, navigating a divorce, or just trying to stretch your dollars to the end of the month, it can feel like your brain never gets a break. It’s like your finances moved into your head and turned the volume all the way up.

But here’s something most people never say out loud: you are allowed to rest—even when your finances aren’t perfect. Actually, especially when your finances aren’t perfect.

Let’s be honest—worrying 24/7 doesn’t magically make money appear or create that perfect budget you can stick to. What it does is drain your energy, mess with your sleep, and leave you feeling anxious or stuck. Your shoulders get tighter. Your jaw clenches. Your mind races at 2 a.m. with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. Sound familiar?

That constant pressure can lead to some not-so-great decisions. Maybe you overspend to feel better. Maybe you avoid looking at your bank account. Or maybe you freeze up and do nothing at all because you just can’t deal. Totally normal reactions—but not helpful ones.

Now, imagine if you hit pause. Just for a moment.

Not forever. Not in a “bury-your-head-in-the-sand” kind of way. But in a “let’s give my brain a minute to chill so I can think straight” kind of way. That kind of rest—mental, emotional, even spiritual—isn’t laziness. It’s smart. It’s necessary. And believe it or not, it’s actually good for your finances.

When you take a break from the stress, you start thinking more clearly. You spot better solutions. You become more intentional instead of reactive. You make decisions that align with your long-term goals instead of chasing a quick fix. You get your creativity back. You breathe easier. And guess what? You’re way more likely to follow through on those budgeting plans, savings goals, or side hustle ideas when your nervous system isn’t fried.

Sometimes resting means going for a walk and leaving your phone at home. Sometimes it’s saying, “I’ve done what I can today, and that’s enough.” Sometimes it’s calling a friend and talking about anything but money. And sometimes, it’s just being still, praying, meditating, or sipping your favorite tea without guilt.

You don’t have to earn rest by having everything figured out. You can rest right in the middle of the mess. Right in the middle of the progress. Because you’re human. And because taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your finances.

So breathe. Stretch. Laugh. Cry. Take a nap. Light a candle. Dance it out in your kitchen if that’s your vibe. Let your body and your brain know: we’re not living in panic mode today.

You’ve got this. And even if things feel tight right now, you’re not stuck. You’re learning, growing, and becoming someone who handles money with clarity and confidence. That version of you? They need rest too.

To get more pointers on how to rest in your financial stress, join my FB community, Wallets and Well-Being!

Is Imposter Syndrome Hurting Your Finances? Here’s How to Beat It

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Imposter syndrome—the nagging feeling that you’re not as competent or knowledgeable as others think—can creep into every aspect of life, including your finances. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, an employee, or managing your household budget, self-doubt can limit your financial growth and stability.

Imposter syndrome can mess with your money in surprising ways. If you’ve ever thought, I don’t deserve to make that much money or I’m not smart enough to invest, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about how it might be affecting you and, more importantly, how to break free from it.

If you run a business, freelance, or work in a field where you set your own rates, imposter syndrome might be making you lowball yourself. Thoughts like Who am I to charge that much? or What if they realize I’m not that good? can leave you working twice as hard for half the pay.

How to Fix It:

Do the research. Find out what others in your industry charge. Chances are, you’re selling yourself short.
Practice saying your rates confidently. If you don’t believe in your pricing, neither will your clients.

Focus on value, not time. You’re not just selling hours—you’re selling experience, skill, and results.

Think about this: If someone else with less experience is charging more than you, why shouldn’t you?

When was the last time you asked for a raise? If you’re like most people with imposter syndrome, the answer might be never. You may worry that asking for more money will expose you as a fraud or make your boss question your value. Meanwhile, your bills keep rising, but your paycheck stays the same.

How to Fix It:

Track your wins. Keep a list of your achievements, completed projects, and positive feedback.
Know your worth. Check sites like Glassdoor or Salary.com to see what people in your role are making.
Rehearse your ask. Practice with a friend or mentor until it feels natural.

 Your employer expects negotiations. The worst they can say is no—but they might just say yes!

Do you keep all your money in a savings account because investing feels too risky? Maybe you think, I don’t know enough about this, or What if I lose everything? While being cautious is good, avoiding investing altogether can keep you stuck in the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle.

How to Fix It:

Start small. You don’t need thousands to begin—many apps let you start with as little as $10.
Educate yourself. Read books, take courses, and follow financial experts (like me!) to build confidence.
Get guidance. A financial coach can help you create an investment strategy that feels safe and smart.

The best time to start investing was yesterday. The second-best time? Today.

Ever bought something just to look successful? Maybe you splurge on designer bags, fancy dinners, or the latest gadgets—not because you need them, but because deep down, you feel like you should have them to be taken seriously. This “imposter spending” can wreck your budget and keep you in debt.

How to Fix It:

Ask yourself: Why am I buying this? Is it something you truly want or just a way to impress others?
Shift your focus. True confidence comes from financial stability, not expensive things.
Set meaningful goals. Instead of keeping up with appearances, invest in your future.

 Real wealth isn’t about looking rich—it’s about financial freedom.

Have a great business idea but keep talking yourself out of it? Imposter syndrome can make you think, I’m not an expert or What if I fail? Meanwhile, others with less experience and confidence are out there making money.

How to Fix It:

Start before you’re ready. No one feels 100% prepared—successful people take the leap anyway.
Take small steps. You don’t have to go all in at once—start your side hustle part-time.
Surround yourself with support. Find a mentor, join a business group, or connect with others who’ve been where you are.

 The only way to fail is to never start.

Imposter syndrome can limit your financial success, but the good news is that it’s a mindset—one that you can change. By recognizing its impact and taking intentional steps to overcome it, you can build financial confidence and success. When you start believing in your worth, you’ll start earning, saving, and investing in a way that reflects it.

You deserve financial success. Don’t let self-doubt keep you from it.

Want help overcoming money blocks and building financial confidence? Let’s chat! Book a free insight session today.

Finding Your Compass in a World Gone Wild

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Let’s be honest: life’s gotten a bit… noisy. Between emails, endless to-do lists, and trying to remember if it’s trash day or recycling day, it’s no wonder we feel like hamsters on a wheel. We’re sprinting but not necessarily going anywhere.

But here’s the thing: the wheel doesn’t stop unless you do. So, let’s talk about hitting pause, stepping off, and reconnecting with what truly matters. Spoiler: it’s not your inbox or that new streaming show everyone’s talking about.

Take a second and ask yourself: Who am I outside of my responsibilities, my job title, and my Wi-Fi connection? It sounds deep, but it’s really about rediscovering what makes you tick. What lights you up? When was the last time you did something just because it made you happy?

Maybe it’s cooking, dancing like nobody’s watching (even if they are), or painting even though your best work looks like Picasso’s toddler phase. The point isn’t perfection; it’s joy. Reconnecting with these moments of bliss is step one to finding your way back to yourself.

Look around—who’s in your circle? Are they lifting you up or dragging you down? Life’s too short to spend time with people who drain your energy. (Yes, faceless keyboard warrior, I’m looking at you.)

Surround yourself with those who make your soul feel like it’s at an all-you-can-eat buffet of laughter, love, and support. These are your people—the ones who remind you of what matters when you forget.

This one’s a toughie, but hear me out: turn off your phone. No, seriously. The world won’t implode if you’re unreachable for an hour.

Go for a walk without headphones. Sit in the park and people-watch. (Bonus points if you guess their life stories.) Journal your thoughts. Meditate. Or just stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander. When you’re not constantly consuming, you create space to connect with yourself and your surroundings.

Here’s a wild concept: you don’t have to do everything. Not every party, project, or PTA meeting needs your RSVP. Saying “no” isn’t selfish; it’s strategic.

Every time you say “yes” to something that doesn’t align with your values, you’re saying “no” to something that does. Protect your time and energy like it’s the last slice of pizza—it’s precious.

At the core of reconnecting with what matters is figuring out your “why.” Why do you do what you do? What’s the point? It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day grind and forget the big picture.

Take some time to reflect on what gives your life meaning. Is it your family? Your creative passions? Making a difference in the world? Whatever it is, let it guide your decisions. It’s your internal compass in a world full of distractions.

Life’s a mess—you’re a mess—we’re all a mess. And that’s okay! Laugh at the chaos. Celebrate the little wins, like remembering to water your plants or finally folding that mountain of laundry. Humor keeps things light and reminds us not to take it all too seriously.

Reconnecting with what matters isn’t a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing practice. Some days you’ll nail it, and other days you’ll eat cereal for dinner and scroll Instagram for hours. (We’ve all been there.) The point is to keep coming back to what’s important.

So, take a deep breath, step off the hamster wheel, and start living a life that feels like yours!

And that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. I’m stepping off the hamster wheel to connect with family over the holidays. I’ll be back in the new year with fresh ideas and strategies to help us work toward our successes. I’ll also be spending time in the new year studying for a new license so I can help my clients even more!

Here’s to the holidays—a time for joy, fresh starts, chasing bigger dreams, and embracing the renewed hope that comes with new beginnings!!

How to Handle the Holiday Chaos Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Wallet)

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Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when twinkling lights fill the streets, Mariah Carey belts out “All I Want for Christmas Is You” on repeat, and somehow, you’re supposed to be overflowing with joy and holiday cheer. But let’s be real for a second—does anyone actually feel that way 24/7 during December?

For many of us, the holidays are more of an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’re sipping hot cocoa by the fire, and the next, you’re staring at your bank account like, “How did I spend that much on wrapping paper?” Throw in family drama, endless to-do lists, and the pressure to make everything perfect, and it’s no wonder the holidays can feel more stressful than magical.

The good news? You don’t have to let the chaos win. Here’s how to tackle the holiday season without losing your sanity—or your savings.

Admit It: The Holidays Are Complicated, and That’s Okay

Let’s start by getting one thing straight: It’s perfectly normal to have mixed feelings during this time of year. Sure, you might love decorating cookies or watching The Holiday for the millionth time, but you can still feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or even a little sad. Maybe you’re dealing with grief, missing loved ones, feeling lonely, or just stressed about how to afford all the gifts on your list.

Instead of trying to force yourself to feel “holly jolly” all the time, give yourself permission to feel what you feel. If that means crying over a Hallmark movie or hiding in the bathroom during a family gathering for five minutes of peace, so be it. (No judgment here—been there, done that.)

Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)

You don’t have to say yes to every cookie exchange, holiday party, or Secret Santa gift swap. In fact, saying “no” might be the best gift you give yourself this year.

If Aunt Karen insists on hosting her annual 5-hour holiday dinner complete with awkward political debates, feel free to skip it—or at least leave early. Politely decline invitations that feel like too much, and don’t feel guilty about protecting your energy. The holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, not a marathon of obligations.

And yes, this also applies to your finances. Can’t afford to buy gifts for every single person you know? Try suggesting a gift exchange or making thoughtful DIY presents. The people who matter most will understand—and if they don’t, maybe they’re the ones who deserve a lump of coal.

Tackle the Holiday Budget Without Breaking a Sweat

Nothing kills holiday cheer faster than checking your bank account on January 2nd and realizing you’ve blown through your savings. To avoid this, take a minute to map out a realistic holiday budget.

Here’s the secret: The holidays are not about how much you spend. Set a spending cap for gifts, travel, decorations, and food, and stick to it. Get creative with your gift-giving. Instead of splurging on fancy gadgets, consider experiences like a homemade dinner or a heartfelt handwritten note (yes, people do still appreciate those).

And if you’re prone to impulse-buying during those “holiday sales,” remember: Not every deal is a good deal. Your future self will thank you when your credit card bill doesn’t give you a heart attack.

Manage the Emotional Chaos With a Little Self-Care

The holidays are full of people reminding you to “take care of everyone else,” but let me remind you of something equally important: take care of YOU.

Feeling overwhelmed? Take a walk, do some yoga, or binge-watch your favorite HULU show guilt-free. Feeling lonely? Reach out to a friend, volunteer, or attend a community event. Feeling nostalgic or sad? Lean into those feelings—sometimes a good cry or journaling session can be more healing than pretending everything’s fine.

Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy. Even a quiet moment with a cup of tea and a deep breath can do wonders when the holiday chaos gets too loud.

Focus on What Actually Matters

At the end of the day, the holidays aren’t about the perfect tree, the prettiest gifts, or how many Instagram-worthy moments you can create. They’re about connection—whether that’s with family, friends, or even yourself.

So, skip the pressure to make everything Pinterest perfect. Focus on what truly brings you joy, whether that’s baking cookies with your kids, having a glass of wine with a close friend, or just taking a nap while everyone else battles for parking spots at the mall.

You’ve Got This

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By managing your emotions, setting clear boundaries, and keeping your finances in check, you can make it through this season with your sanity (mostly) intact.

So, here’s to a holiday season that feels a little lighter, a little less stressful, and a lot more real. You deserve it.

Now, go grab that hot cocoa—you’ve earned it.

Setting Boundaries: The Key to Thriving

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Do you often find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Whether it’s lending money you can’t spare or stretching yourself too thin for others, lacking boundaries can leave you drained—emotionally and financially. But here’s the good news: setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about protecting your energy, time, and resources so you can thrive.

Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what you are willing to accept in your life. They help you communicate your limits and values to others while safeguarding your peace of mind and resources.

In relationships, boundaries can prevent emotional burnout. In finances, they can stop overspending, enable saving, and support long-term goals. Both areas are interconnected: without clear personal boundaries, your financial well-being may also suffer.

So, how do you set personal boundaries?

1. Know Your Limits

Spend time identifying what drains your energy. Is it saying yes to every social event? Overcommitting at work? Recognize what feels overwhelming and set clear limits around those areas.

2. Practice Saying “No”

Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you self-aware. A simple, “I can’t commit to that right now,” is polite but firm. Remember, you’re saying no to protect something more important: your time and energy.

3. Communicate Clearly

Boundaries are only effective if others know about them. Whether it’s a friend who calls at all hours or a boss who expects late-night emails, calmly express what works for you.

4. Hold the Line

People might push back, especially if they’re used to you being endlessly available. Stay consistent. The more you reinforce your boundaries, the more others will respect them.

Financial boundaries can be a game changer for your wallet.

If you’ve ever felt guilted into spending money you didn’t have, you know the toll of weak financial boundaries. But there are ways you can take charge.

1. Create a Budget—and Stick to It

A budget isn’t restrictive; it’s empowering. Decide how much you’ll allocate to essentials, savings, and “fun money.” Once you know your limits, it’s easier to say no to unnecessary expenses.

2. Set Limits on Lending and Gifting

It’s okay to say, “I’d love to help, but I’m not in a position to give right now.” Protecting your financial health ensures you’re not sacrificing your future security for short-term approval.

3. Communicate Expectations

If you’re sharing finances with a partner or contributing to family expenses, clarity is key. Agree on spending habits, savings goals, and debt repayment plans. This reduces conflict and keeps everyone on the same page.

4. Respect Your Own Goals

Your dreams matter. Whether it’s saving for a house, building an emergency fund, or traveling, don’t let others’ financial habits derail your plans. Stay focused on what you’ve set out to achieve.

Think of boundaries as a way to show yourself love and respect. When you honor your limits, you reduce stress, improve relationships, and gain confidence. In finances, boundaries free you from guilt, help you make informed decisions, and keep you on track for your goals.

The truth is, boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges to a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Remember, you have the power to define what’s acceptable in your life and finances. Boundaries aren’t just about protection—they’re about creating space for what truly matters.

So, where will you set your first boundary today?

1. Reflect on areas in your life and finances where you feel stretched or uncomfortable.

2. Decide what boundaries you need to set to regain control.

3. Take small, consistent steps toward enforcing them.

How Do I Want To Feel?

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We all know the drill: you wake up, and before your feet even hit the floor, you’re already thinking about how your day is going to go. Maybe you’re tired, maybe you’re stressed, or maybe you’re already thinking about the long list of things you have to do. But what if, instead of going through the same old routine, you tried something different? What if you asked yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” This small change can make a huge difference in how you experience your day.

Let’s be real – life can throw a lot at us. Instead of letting things like bad traffic, a grumpy coworker, or even the weather decide your mood, you’re choosing how you want to experience the day. It might sound simple, but it’s a way to remind yourself that you’re in charge of your feelings, not the other way around.

Most of us spend our days reacting to whatever happens around us. If something annoying happens, we feel annoyed. If something stressful comes up, we feel stressed. But when you decide how you want to feel, you’re no longer just reacting – you’re creating your experience. For example, if you want to feel calm, you might take a few deep breaths or listen to relaxing music. If you want to feel happy, you might think about something you’re grateful for or do something you enjoy. This way, you’re actively choosing the kind of day you want to have.

1. **Set Your Intention in the Morning**: Before you even set a foot on the floor, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” Don’t just think it – feel it. Visualize yourself moving through the day with this chosen emotion. Picture the energy, confidence, or joy radiating from you. It might sound cheesy, but this visualization sets the tone for the entire day.

2. **Remind Yourself During the Day**: It’s easy to forget about your intention once the day gets going, so try to set a few reminders. Set an alarm on your phone with a message like, “Remember: Today is about feeling confident!” or leave sticky notes around your workspace with words like “Joy,” “Calm,” or “Gratitude.”

3. **Choose Actions That Support Your Feeling**: Want to feel more energetic? Maybe go for a walk or listen to some upbeat music. Want to feel more relaxed? Take a few minutes to breathe deeply or do something that makes you smile. These small actions can help you stay on track with how you want to feel.

4. **Don’t Be Hard on Yourself**: You won’t always stick to your intention, and that’s okay. Life can be unpredictable. When you notice yourself drifting away from how you want to feel, gently bring yourself back. Remember, every moment is a chance to start again.  And you have the power to choose again – and again, and again.

Here’s the thing: when you intentionally choose how you want to feel, it doesn’t just change you – it changes everything around you. Have you ever noticed how one person’s mood can shift an entire room? By consciously choosing positivity, calm, or confidence, you influence the people you interact with. This ripple effect can transform your relationships, work environment, and even the energy you bring to a crowded subway or busy grocery store. Your choice to feel a certain way can inspire others to do the same, creating a collective wave of positive change.

This isn’t just self-help fluff – there’s real science behind it. Our brains have something called “neuroplasticity,” which means they’re constantly rewiring based on our thoughts and actions. By regularly asking yourself, “How do I want to feel?” you’re training your brain to default to more positive, empowering emotions. Over time, this practice can lead to reduced stress, increased happiness, and improved mental health. You’re essentially creating new pathways that make it easier for you to feel the way you want to feel.

Think of it this way, asking yourself “How do I want to feel?” gives you a choice. It reminds you that no matter what’s going on around you, you can always choose your response. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stressed, angry, or sad – that’s part of life. But it does mean you have a say in how much control those feelings have over you. It’s about being the hero of your own story, rather than just a supporting character.

Try this…tomorrow morning, when you wake up, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel?” It’s a simple question, but it can help you start your day with purpose and take control of your emotions. Maybe try it out for just one week and see what happens. See if you notice the difference in your mood, your energy, and even the way others respond to you. Imagine the possibilities when you choose how you want to feel instead of letting the world decide for you. Give it a shot, and you might be surprised by how much better your day goes.

Your emotions, your life, your choice. Now, how do you want to feel?

What Are You Waiting For

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Time seems to move with an accelerating pace as we grow older. When we were children, days felt endless, summers stretched on and on, and the wait for birthdays and holidays seemed to last forever. However, as adults, weeks blur into months, and years pass with the thought of how did it go so fast. This phenomenon is acknowledged by psychologists and neuroscientists alike. Our perception of time speeds up as we age, making it ever more crucial to seize each moment and live a life we truly love.

The perception that time speeds up as we grow older can be attributed to several factors. One significant reason is the proportional theory: each passing year represents a smaller fraction of our life. For a ten-year-old, one year is 10% of their life, but for a fifty-year-old, it is only 2%. This mathematical shrinking of each year’s relative size contributes to the feeling that time accelerates.

Additionally, routine and repetition play a role. When we experience new things, our brains record these memories more vividly. Novelty stretches our perception of time. Conversely, when life becomes routine, the days can seem to fly by unnoticed. This is why childhood, filled with first-time experiences, feels so rich and extensive in hindsight.

Given the fleeting nature of time, living a life aligned with our passions and values is so important. It’s easy to get caught up in societal expectations, career demands, and daily routines, losing sight of what truly brings us joy and fulfillment. However, the brevity of life should serve as a reminder to prioritize what matters most.

**Pursuing Passion:** Doing what we love infuses our lives with energy and enthusiasm. Whether it’s a career that excites us, hobbies that engage our creativity, or causes we care deeply about, passion fuels a sense of purpose and satisfaction. It turns mundane moments into meaningful experiences, making time feel well spent rather than wasted.

**Building Relationships:** Time shared with loved ones is invaluable. Deep connections with family, friends, and partners provide emotional support, joy, and a sense of belonging. Investing time in these relationships enriches our lives and creates lasting memories.

**Financial Security:** Financial stability is a cornerstone of living a life you love. Money can’t buy happiness, but financial security can reduce stress and provide the freedom to pursue passions and enjoy life’s moments. Getting finances in order involves:

– **Budgeting:** Creating and adhering to a budget helps manage expenses and ensure money is spent in alignment with priorities.

– **Saving:** Building an emergency fund and saving for future goals provides a financial cushion and peace of mind.

– **Investing:** Making informed investment choices can grow wealth over time, supporting long-term financial goals.

– **Debt Management:** Reducing and managing debt is crucial for financial health, freeing up resources for other life-enhancing activities.

– **Financial Planning:** Planning for major life events, such as retirement, education, and homeownership, ensures preparedness and reduces future financial stress.

**Spirituality:** Embracing a spiritual practice can provide a profound sense of purpose and connection. Whether through religious faith, meditation, or a personal sense of connection to the universe, spirituality can offer comfort, guidance, and a deeper understanding of life’s mysteries. It can help us find meaning in our experiences and cultivate inner peace, gratitude, and compassion.

**Mindfulness and Presence:** Being fully present in each moment can slow our perception of time. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help us appreciate the now and reduce the feeling that life is rushing past us. By focusing on the present, we can savor the details and find deeper joy in everyday experiences.

**Personal Growth:** Continuously learning and growing keeps life interesting and fulfilling. Embracing new challenges, acquiring new skills, and expanding our horizons help us maintain a sense of progression and accomplishment, counteracting the stagnation that can make time feel like it’s slipping away unnoticed.

### Creating a Life You Love

To live a life we love, intentionality is key. Here are some steps to guide us:

1. **Identify Your Values:** Reflect on what truly matters to you. What do you value most in life? Is it freedom, creativity, family, adventure, or something else? Understanding your core values can guide your decisions and actions.

2. **Set Goals Aligned with Your Passions:** Once you know your values, set goals that align with them. Break these goals into manageable steps and pursue them with dedication.

3. **Simplify and Prioritize:** Life is full of distractions and obligations. Simplify where possible and prioritize activities and commitments that bring you closer to your passions and values.

4. **Embrace Change:** Don’t be afraid to make changes if your current path doesn’t align with your desired life. It’s never too late to pursue a new direction that brings you joy and fulfillment.

5. **Practice Gratitude:** Regularly take time to appreciate what you have. Gratitude can enhance your overall happiness and help you focus on the positives in your life.

6. **Get Your Finances in Order:** Ensure your financial health to provide stability and the freedom to pursue what you love. This includes budgeting, saving, investing wisely, managing debt, and planning for the future.

The passing of time is a universal experience that can either dishearten or inspire us. By recognizing the fleeting nature of our days, we can choose to live more intentionally, embracing our passions, nurturing our relationships, managing our finances, and staying present in the moment. A life we love is not a distant dream but a conscious creation, crafted through our daily choices and attitudes. In the end, the best way to slow down the rush of time is to fill it with love, purpose, and joy.

Mental Health For May

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

In an increasingly fast-paced and interconnected world, the concept of healing often takes a back seat to the demands of daily life. However, the importance of healing, both physically and mentally, cannot be overstated. Healing is not merely a recovery from illness or injury; it is a holistic process that encompasses the mind, body, and soul, creating overall well-being and resilience. The process of healing is essential for restoring balance, well-being, and enabling individuals to lead fulfilling lives.

Physical healing is probably the most apparent form of recovery, often necessitated by injuries, illnesses, or surgeries. The body’s remarkable ability to repair itself is a testament to its resilience.

And while physical healing is vital, mental and emotional healing is equally important. Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress can have profound effects on an individual’s overall health. Healing the mind involves addressing these issues through various methods, including therapy, medication, mindfulness practices, and social support. Emotional healing, on the other hand, often requires acknowledging and processing past traumas and grief. This can be facilitated through counseling, expressive arts, and building healthy relationships.

The stigma around mental health has decreased in recent years, allowing more people to seek help without fear of judgment. This shift is crucial because mental health profoundly impacts physical health. Chronic stress, for example, can lead to cardiovascular problems, weakened immune function, and other health issues. By prioritizing mental and emotional healing, individuals can improve their overall quality of life.

Emotional healing addresses the scars left by traumatic experiences, grief, and stress. It is a journey that requires time, patience, and often the guidance of a mental health professional. Emotional wounds can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Healing these wounds involves acknowledging and processing painful emotions, embracing forgiveness, and building resilience.

The importance of emotional healing lies in its ability to free individuals from the burdens of the past, allowing them to engage fully with the present and look forward to the future. Emotional healing creates better relationships, improves mental health, and enhances overall quality of life. Practices such as mindfulness, therapy, practicing spirituality, and support groups are instrumental in this process, providing safe spaces for individuals to explore and heal their emotions.

Psychological healing goes hand-in-hand with emotional healing but delves deeper into the cognitive processes that shape our understanding and interaction with the world. It involves restructuring negative thought patterns, overcoming limiting beliefs, and developing a more positive and realistic outlook on life. Psychological healing is essential for those dealing with chronic stress, anxiety disorders, or the aftermath of traumatic experiences.

Therapeutic techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), meditation, and journaling are effective tools in the psychological healing process. These methods help individuals gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors, promoting a healthier and more balanced mental state. The importance of psychological healing lies in its ability to empower individuals to break free from the constraints of their past and build a more fulfilling life.

Healing is not a one-time event but a continuous journey. Life inevitably brings challenges and hardships, and the ability to heal from these experiences is crucial for long-term well-being. Embracing healing as an ongoing process encourages individuals to be proactive about their health and seek help when needed.

In today’s continually changing world, taking the time to heal is more important than ever. It is a reminder that well-being is not merely the absence of illness but a dynamic state of balance and harmony. By prioritizing healing, we honor our bodies, minds, and spirits, paving the way for a healthier and more meaningful life.