relationships

When Seasons Change Along With Your Marriage

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Pumpkin spice isn’t the only thing showing up in early fall. Believe it or not, divorce filings also spike this time of year. Yep, just when you thought the biggest expense you’d face in September was back-to-school shopping, the reality is a lot of couples are sitting down with lawyers instead of PTO calendars.

But why fall? Well, think about it. Couples often try to hold it together through the summer for maybe one last family vacation, one more “let’s see if this works” effort while the kids are out of school. And then, when August heat turns into September routines, many people decide it’s time for a fresh start before the holiday season rolls around.

Here’s the tough part: divorce isn’t just emotionally draining, it’s financially draining, too. Money is already one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and splitting households doesn’t exactly make things easier. If you’re not careful, you can end up with just as much financial heartbreak as marital heartbreak.

So let’s talk about how divorce impacts your money and what you can do to lessen the blow:

1. Two Houses, One Income (or Less)

You go from sharing expenses to doubling them. Mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance—suddenly you’re covering it solo. If you haven’t already, it’s time to put together a realistic budget for your household, not the one that used to be.

2. The “Stuff” Split

Dividing assets sounds fair on paper, but things get tricky fast. Retirement accounts, investments, even furniture, those things don’t just divide cleanly. Before agreeing to anything, understand the tax and long-term implications. A $50,000 retirement account isn’t the same as $50,000 in cash.

3. Debt Doesn’t Magically Disappear

Credit card bills, car loans, and even that home equity line; divorce doesn’t erase them. Be proactive about how debt is divided and whose name it stays under. Otherwise, your credit could take a hit for someone else’s spending.

4. Kids and Cash

If children are involved, child support and possibly alimony come into play. Don’t just think short-term; factor these payments (or the lack of them) into your long-term financial plan.

What You Can Do to Lessen the Impact

  • Get clear on your numbers. Write down your income, expenses, debts, and assets. Knowledge is power.
  • Work with professionals. A lawyer handles the legal side, but a financial coach helps you look at the big picture—budgeting, saving, retirement, even rebuilding your money mindset.
  • Adjust your lifestyle quickly. It’s tempting to keep living like you did as a couple, but the sooner you shift, the stronger you’ll feel financially.
  • Guard your heart and your wallet. Emotional decisions lead to expensive mistakes whether that’s fighting over the couch or giving up assets just to “get it over with.”

And let’s not forget the spiritual side matters, too. God isn’t surprised by your situation, and He isn’t leaving you to figure it out alone. In Proverbs 24:3 it says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Even if your marriage is ending, you can rebuild your financial house with wisdom and understanding.

Divorce is tough, but God still has a plan and thankfully, so can your budget (even if it involves more coffee and less Netflix)

The Bottom Line

Fall may be “divorce season,” but it doesn’t have to be financial disaster season. With the right plan, the right mindset, and a little faith, you can come out stronger both emotionally and financially. And when you’re ready, I’m here to walk you through the money side of things so you can focus on building a new, solid foundation.

Money & Relationships: How to Keep The Peace

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Money might not buy happiness, but it sure can buy tension if you’re not careful, especially when it mixes with your relationships. Whether it’s your ride-or-die best friend, a sibling who still “owes you from that one time,” or a business partner with Venmo amnesia, navigating money with people you care about is a tricky dance. But fear not! You can handle money and relationships without drama, broken trust, or awkward Thanksgiving dinners.

You just need a little awareness, a little planning, and a whole lot of honesty.

The Friendship Tab: “I Got You Next Time…”

Friendships can be a financial minefield if you’re not careful. One day you’re grabbing lattes or splitting an Airbnb, and the next thing you know, someone’s been “forgetting” to pay their share a few too many times. Over time, even the strongest friendships can start to feel a little off when one person is always footing the bill.

The key here is clarity. Talking about money with friends might feel awkward, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, having open conversations about what things cost, what you’re comfortable spending, or whether you’re on a tight budget can actually strengthen your friendship. If you’re the one who’s always paying, it’s okay to speak up. And if you’re the one who’s fallen behind, just own it and offer a plan. A little transparency goes a long way.

Family Matters… and Money Does Too

Ah, family. The people who love us unconditionally, and sometimes also expect us to pay for dinner without saying a word. Whether it’s a cousin who needs to borrow money or a sibling who conveniently “forgets” about past loans, money and family is a sensitive combo.

But keep in mind: love and boundaries can coexist. If a family member asks to borrow money, it’s okay to ask yourself, “Can I give this as a gift instead of a loan?” If the answer is no, be honest about that and create a simple agreement that spells out when and how the money will be paid back. And if you need to say no altogether, that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you responsible. You’re allowed to protect your financial well-being, even from people you care deeply about.

Love, Budgeting, and Other Romantic Adventures

Talking about money with your partner can be deeply uncomfortable, but it’s absolutely necessary. Financial tension is one of the top causes of stress in relationships, and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.

Whether you’re newly dating or ten years into marriage, money should be a part of the conversation. How do you each feel about spending, saving, or debt? Do you prefer separate accounts, joint accounts, or a mix of both? These aren’t just financial decisions, they’re relationship decisions. When you work as a team toward shared goals, you build trust. And honestly, there’s something very attractive about building a future together with clear communication and mutual respect.

Money dates, by the way, are a real thing. Light some candles, grab a glass of wine, and look at your budget together. Financial intimacy is a vibe.

Business and Boundaries

Working with business partners, clients, or collaborators adds another layer to the money conversation. There’s potential for growth and success, but also plenty of room for miscommunication. Maybe your friend becomes your business partner, or someone hires you for a project and takes forever to pay. It happens.

To avoid issues, treat every professional relationship like, well, a professional relationship. That means writing things down. Contracts, payment terms, timelines, have everything in black and white. It keeps the expectations clear and protects the relationship, especially if things get bumpy. The most respectful thing you can do in business is communicate clearly, especially when money is involved.

Don’t Forget About You

Last but definitely not least, let’s talk about your relationship with yourself. Specifically, your future self. When you make smart money decisions today, you’re showing up for that version of you down the road who wants freedom, peace, and options.

That means saving when you can. Paying off debt when it makes sense. Investing in things that grow. It also means checking in with yourself regularly. Ask: “Am I spending in alignment with my values? Am I planning for the life I want?” You deserve to be the main character in your own financial story, not just reacting to things as they happen, but creating the life you want with intention.

The Bottom Line

Money doesn’t have to ruin relationships. In fact, when handled with care, it can actually strengthen them. It all comes down to honest communication, healthy boundaries, and being intentional with your choices. Whether you’re dealing with friends, family, romantic partners, or business associates, the same rule applies: talk about it. Be clear. Be kind. Be real.

Your bank account, and your relationships, will thank you.

Want to dive deeper into this topic? I’d love to hear your stories, questions, or thoughts—leave a comment or reach out. Let’s make money a tool for connection, not conflict.

Guilt is Not a Bill You Have to Pay

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s be real: talking about money can be awkward.
Setting boundaries around it? Even harder.

Maybe you’ve felt that little pang of guilt when you say no to a friend’s expensive birthday trip. Or when a family member asks for a loan and you know deep down it’s not a good idea — but you still wrestle with it.

The truth is, having strong financial boundaries isn’t about being stingy or selfish.
It’s about protecting your peace, your goals, and your future.

If you’ve ever struggled to say no without feeling bad, you’re definitely not alone.
Let’s talk about why financial boundaries are so important — and some simple ways you can set them without carrying around a ton of guilt.

Why You Need Financial Boundaries (Even If You’re a Generous Person)

Money isn’t just numbers. It’s tied to emotions, habits, and relationships. When you don’t have clear financial boundaries, a few things start to happen:

  • You spend money you didn’t plan to spend.
  • You end up feeling resentful or stressed.
  • Your long-term goals (like paying off debt or saving for a new home) take a backseat.

Good boundaries actually allow you to be MORE generous — just in a way that’s healthy for you.

When you take care of yourself first, you’re able to give and support others from a place of strength, not guilt or burnout.

Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Your financial behavior sets an invisible example. People will learn to respect your limits.

How to Set Financial Boundaries Without the Guilt

Here are a few ways to make it feel natural (and maybe even empowering):

1. Know Exactly What You’re Protecting

Before you set a boundary, get clear on why you need it.
It’s not just about saving money — it’s about what that money is for.

Maybe you’re saving for:

  • A home
  • An emergency fund
  • A once-in-a-lifetime trip
  • Paying off debt so you can breathe easier

When you know your “why,” it’s easier to stick to your “no.”
You’re not just saying no to someone else — you’re saying yes to your bigger dreams.

Quick tip: Write your “why” on a sticky note or put it as the wallpaper on your phone. Remind yourself often.

2. Make a “Generosity Budget”

Here’s a hack you might not hear often:
Set aside money every month just for giving or spontaneous treats.

It could be $20, $50, or whatever fits your budget. This money is guilt-free.
So when a fundraiser pops up or a friend invites you out, you’ll know exactly what you can spend without stressing.

It feels SO much better to say, “I’d love to help — here’s what I can do,” instead of scrambling or feeling guilty.

3. Practice Gentle Ways to Say No

You don’t need to give long explanations or apologize for your choices.
Here are a few phrases you can use that feel kind but firm:

  • “I’m keeping my spending really simple right now.”
  • “That’s not in my budget this month, but I hope it’s an amazing time!”
  • “I have a financial goal I’m working toward, so I’ll have to pass this time.”

Using words like “choosing” and “working toward” shows you’re being intentional — not just rejecting them.

4. Watch Out for Emotional Spending Traps

It’s not always big decisions like loans or vacations that sneak up on you.
Sometimes it’s the little things you do out of guilt, like:

  • Picking up the tab (again) because you don’t want to seem cheap.
  • Buying expensive gifts you can’t really afford.
  • Saying yes to events you don’t even want to attend.

Try this for one week:
Every time you spend money, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I want to — or because I feel like I have to?”

You’ll be amazed at what you notice.

5. Remember the Hidden Costs of Saying “Yes”

It’s not just about the money you’re spending.
It’s also about:

  • The time you’re giving up
  • The energy you’re draining
  • The opportunities you’re delaying

Example: If you spend $500 on a weekend trip you didn’t really want to take, that’s $500 you could have put toward your dream vacation or paid down a credit card.

When you think about the full cost, it gets easier to make choices that feel good later — not just in the moment.

Boundaries = Freedom
Setting financial boundaries isn’t shutting people out.
It’s making sure you don’t shut yourself down later because you’re stressed, broke, or overwhelmed.

You deserve a life that feels free, not frantic. And that starts with honoring your goals, trusting your choices, and knowing that real friends and family will respect your boundaries.

You’re not being stingy.
You’re being smart.

Every time you set a healthy financial boundary, you’re making a bold declaration:

 I am choosing my future self over fleeting pressure.
 I am protecting my peace and prosperity.
 I trust that real relationships will respect my “no” as much as my “yes.”

You’re not greedy. You’re not selfish. You’re being a wise steward of your money and your life.

And that, my friend, is something to feel proud of — not feel guilty for.

Setting Boundaries: The Key to Thriving

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Do you often find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Whether it’s lending money you can’t spare or stretching yourself too thin for others, lacking boundaries can leave you drained—emotionally and financially. But here’s the good news: setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about protecting your energy, time, and resources so you can thrive.

Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what you are willing to accept in your life. They help you communicate your limits and values to others while safeguarding your peace of mind and resources.

In relationships, boundaries can prevent emotional burnout. In finances, they can stop overspending, enable saving, and support long-term goals. Both areas are interconnected: without clear personal boundaries, your financial well-being may also suffer.

So, how do you set personal boundaries?

1. Know Your Limits

Spend time identifying what drains your energy. Is it saying yes to every social event? Overcommitting at work? Recognize what feels overwhelming and set clear limits around those areas.

2. Practice Saying “No”

Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you self-aware. A simple, “I can’t commit to that right now,” is polite but firm. Remember, you’re saying no to protect something more important: your time and energy.

3. Communicate Clearly

Boundaries are only effective if others know about them. Whether it’s a friend who calls at all hours or a boss who expects late-night emails, calmly express what works for you.

4. Hold the Line

People might push back, especially if they’re used to you being endlessly available. Stay consistent. The more you reinforce your boundaries, the more others will respect them.

Financial boundaries can be a game changer for your wallet.

If you’ve ever felt guilted into spending money you didn’t have, you know the toll of weak financial boundaries. But there are ways you can take charge.

1. Create a Budget—and Stick to It

A budget isn’t restrictive; it’s empowering. Decide how much you’ll allocate to essentials, savings, and “fun money.” Once you know your limits, it’s easier to say no to unnecessary expenses.

2. Set Limits on Lending and Gifting

It’s okay to say, “I’d love to help, but I’m not in a position to give right now.” Protecting your financial health ensures you’re not sacrificing your future security for short-term approval.

3. Communicate Expectations

If you’re sharing finances with a partner or contributing to family expenses, clarity is key. Agree on spending habits, savings goals, and debt repayment plans. This reduces conflict and keeps everyone on the same page.

4. Respect Your Own Goals

Your dreams matter. Whether it’s saving for a house, building an emergency fund, or traveling, don’t let others’ financial habits derail your plans. Stay focused on what you’ve set out to achieve.

Think of boundaries as a way to show yourself love and respect. When you honor your limits, you reduce stress, improve relationships, and gain confidence. In finances, boundaries free you from guilt, help you make informed decisions, and keep you on track for your goals.

The truth is, boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges to a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Remember, you have the power to define what’s acceptable in your life and finances. Boundaries aren’t just about protection—they’re about creating space for what truly matters.

So, where will you set your first boundary today?

1. Reflect on areas in your life and finances where you feel stretched or uncomfortable.

2. Decide what boundaries you need to set to regain control.

3. Take small, consistent steps toward enforcing them.

Utilizing Your Strengths & Weaknesses In Relationships

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses in your career is important but how does knowing them affect your relationships?

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses allows you to have a clear sense of who you are. Recognizing your strengths helps you to use them to contribute positively to any relationship. Similarly, being aware of your weaknesses allows you to address them constructively and minimize their impact on the relationship.

When partners have a good understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses, as well as their partner’s, it creates a stronger foundation. It helps to avoid misunderstandings and promotes a supportive environment where both individuals can thrive. When both partners are aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, they can better understand each other’s behaviors, reactions, and contributions. This understanding promotes empathy, patience, and acceptance in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, partners support each other’s personal growth and goals. Knowing your strengths helps you contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways, while recognizing your weaknesses allows your partner to offer support where you may need it most.

Transparency about strengths and weaknesses builds trust in a relationship. When both partners are honest about their vulnerabilities, it nurtures a sense of security and intimacy. Trust is a crucial foundation for a strong and lasting connection. When you are open and honest about your strengths and weaknesses, it builds trust in the relationship. Concealing or denying these aspects can lead to misunderstandings and erode trust over time.

Awareness of your weaknesses can prevent potential conflicts or help resolve them more effectively. Open communication about areas where you might struggle allows for proactive problem-solving and collaborative efforts to overcome challenges. Awareness of your weaknesses allows you to be more open to feedback and constructive criticism. It also helps you approach conflicts with humility and a willingness to work on areas that may need improvement. This self-awareness can contribute to more effective conflict resolution and a healthier relationship overall. Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses can facilitate conflict resolution by helping you understand your role in disagreements and how to address them constructively. It allows for more effective problem-solving and compromise which contributes to both your personal and professional life.

Understanding your limitations helps you set realistic expectations for yourself and your partner. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration, whereas a more grounded understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses promotes empathy and acceptance. Knowing your strengths allows you to contribute positively to the relationship. Similarly, understanding your weaknesses helps you recognize areas where you may need support or where your partner’s strengths can complement yours. This collaborative approach strengthens the overall dynamic of the relationship.

And the big one… Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses enables better communication in your relationships. You can express your needs, boundaries, and expectations more clearly. This, in turn, creates open and honest communication within the relationship. Being aware of your strengths enables you to effectively communicate what you bring to the relationship. It also helps you express your needs, expectations, and boundaries more clearly. On the other hand, understanding your weaknesses allows you to communicate areas where you may need support or where your partner’s strengths can complement yours.

Relationships, no matter what kind, benefit when you really know yourself. It helps you with personal development, grow communication within the relationship, and build trust with others. It’s easy to talk about where we shine but it’s harder to admit where we might need some work. Admitting to our weaknesses doesn’t make us weak. It makes us courageous.