Marriage is love, commitment, and companionship. It’s also receipts, shared passwords, and arguments about whether buying an $800 espresso machine is “an investment” or “completely ridiculous.” Love may be blind, but money has 20/20 vision and it’s keeping score. So if you’re planning to say “I do,” it’s smart to figure out your financial life before it turns into a reality show called Who Spent What?

Money can either be a glue that bonds or a bomb that explodes. The difference comes down to communication, planning, and resisting the urge to lie about how much your shoes really cost.

Start with a Financial Full-Frontal (No Shame Zone)

Before you merge bank accounts or pick a wedding hashtag, strip it all down, credit scores, debt, income, savings, and spending habits. This is not the time for filters. You need to know if your partner is a frugal wizard or a closet spender who thinks the word “budget” is a personal attack.

Approach this like a team huddle, not a courtroom deposition. No guilt-tripping. Everyone has financial baggage, whether it’s student loans, medical bills, or a Venmo history that reads like a fast-food tour of the entire U.S. What matters is honesty and a willingness to work together.

One Account? Two Accounts? Three? Do What Actually Works

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to combining finances. Some couples go all-in with one joint account. Others split everything 50/50. And then there are those who create a joint fund for shared expenses and keep personal accounts for independence…and impulse buys.

Here’s a better way to picture it: treat your finances like planning a trip. Your personal accounts are like solo adventures-you decide the pace and the destination. Shared bills and expenses? Those are like traveling with a buddy-coordination and communication are key. And your long-term savings? That’s the dream vacation you’re both working toward-something that takes planning, patience, and teamwork. The secret to a smooth journey? Stay transparent and check in often, so no one ends up lost or footing the whole bill.

Designate a CFO—but Rotate the Role

Every household needs a Chief Financial Officer, but don’t let one person always be the budget police. That creates a weird parent-child type dynamic. Rotate who handles the monthly finances. One month, you track bills and savings. Next month, they do. It keeps things fair and forces both of you to stay engaged, and maybe even discover that spreadsheets are oddly satisfying.

Turn Money Fights into Strategy Sessions

Arguments about money are really arguments about values, fears, and expectations. It’s not about the $300 on sushi. It’s about whether you feel secure, respected, or heard.

So instead of fighting over past decisions, make a game plan. If one of you is a saver and the other is a spender, define roles. The saver keeps an eye on the safety net. The spender finds deals and upgrades your life without wrecking the budget. Different approaches can balance each other—if you recognize them as assets, not flaws.

Also, give yourselves a “no-fight zone.” Set a time, maybe Saturday afternoon, post-coffee, when you talk money like teammates, not gladiators. Use humor. Laugh about your worst purchases. (“Remember when I thought I’d become a home mixologist and bought a cocktail shaker set that’s now just holding pens?”)

Build a Plan Bigger Than the Wedding

Weddings are fun. But marriage is Tuesday night groceries, car repairs, and retirement accounts. So plan past the party.

Talk long-term: Do you want kids? A house? To travel? Start a business? Retire early? These dreams need dollar amounts. The earlier you map out your life goals, the more aligned your money decisions will be and the fewer “how did we get here?” moments you’ll have.

Make saving a joint mission. Treat it like a game: name your savings goals, celebrate milestones, and challenge yourselves to have “no-spend” weekends where creativity replaces consumption. Who knew board games, frozen pizza, and bad karaoke could actually feel like progress?

The Bottom Line: Love Is Work. So Is Money. So Do the Work Together.

Marriage isn’t just a romantic union. It’s a financial partnership with receipts. If you approach it like a team sport, with honesty, flexibility, and a sense of humor, you’ll be way ahead of the curve. Yes, you’ll have weird expenses, surprise bills, and moments where you stare at each other like, “Why did we think we could afford a dog and a vacation?”

But you’ll also have a plan, a shared mission, and if you play it right, a joint account that still has money in it at the end of the month.

Now go talk about money with love, laughter, and maybe a spreadsheet. Or at least a calculator and a cup of tea.