health

When Peace Feels Wrong and Stability Feels Boring

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s talk about something uncomfortable.

Not credit scores.
Not retirement accounts.
Not budgeting.

Let’s talk about the part of you that might be addicted to chaos.

I know, I know! The word addicted feels dramatic all on its own. But hang with me.

You might not be chasing drama on purpose. You’re not starting fights or stirring up messes. But if you’re constantly dealing with emergencies, living paycheck to paycheck (even when you make decent money), or finding yourself stuck in the same stressful financial patterns, there might be something deeper going on.

And it’s not just about dollars. It’s about what your nervous system has learned to expect.

Trauma and Drama: The Financial Loop

If you grew up in a home where money was always tight, unpredictable, or used as a weapon, your body may have learned to live in crisis mode.

And now, as an adult, crisis feels… normal. Familiar. Even safe.

So when things are calm, when your bills are paid, when your savings account is growing, you may unconsciously self-sabotage.

You buy something you don’t need.
You stop checking your bank account.
You help someone out financially (again) even though you don’t actually have the margin.

And boom, chaos is back. Crisis mode returns. And your nervous system can breathe a twisted sigh of relief: Ahhh, yes, back where we belong.

That’s what addiction looks like. Not because you’re weak, but because your body is just trying to survive in the only way it knows how.

Financial Drama Is a Distraction

Here’s the hard truth: staying stuck in trauma and drama keeps you from having to do the slow, sometimes boring work of building a stable life.

Creating a budget, sticking to it, setting long-term goals, saying no when it’s easier to say yes, these things don’t always feel exciting. They don’t give you that adrenaline rush that a financial emergency does.

But they do give you peace. And purpose. And the kind of freedom that doesn’t come from a tax refund or a side hustle. It comes from consistency.

God Didn’t Design You to Live in Constant Survival

Let’s get spiritual for a second. Because this isn’t just psychological or financial, it’s also deeply spiritual.

God doesn’t call us to chaos.
He doesn’t say, “I came so they could barely scrape by.”
He says, “I came so they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Abundance doesn’t mean designer bags or Instagram vacations. It means enough. It means peace in your decisions. It means margin. It means getting out of survival mode and into stewardship.

If your nervous system is addicted to drama, it’s going to fight you every time you try to rest, save, or say “no.”

But that’s not the voice of God. That’s the voice of your past trying to hold your future hostage.

How to Break the Cycle

Here’s where we start:

1. Tell the truth.
Admit when you’re creating chaos out of habit. Admit when calm feels scary. That’s not weakness, that’s wisdom.

2. Pause before reacting.
Before making a big purchase, saying yes to helping someone, or ignoring your bills, take a beat. Ask: “Am I solving a real problem, or am I chasing that drama high again?”

3. Create routines that feel safe.
Budgeting, tracking expenses, and planning your financial week, these aren’t chores. They’re anchors. They help your nervous system learn what safety feels like.

4. Invite God into your money.
Ask Him to break your patterns. To heal your heart. To help you see money as a tool, not a trap.

5. Get help.
You’re not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s a coach (hi, that’s me), a therapist, or a trusted accountability partner, bring people into your healing.

You need to understand, you are not lazy, and you’re not bad with money. You’re not broken.

You’re likely exhausted. And your brain has confused chaos with comfort.

But you can change that.
You can heal.
And you can build a financial life that doesn’t just look good, but actually feels good.

Drama doesn’t have to be your default. Peace can be your new normal.

Money on Your Mind?

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Money stress is real. Whether you’re staring down a stack of bills, going through a job change, navigating a divorce, or just trying to stretch your dollars to the end of the month, it can feel like your brain never gets a break. It’s like your finances moved into your head and turned the volume all the way up.

But here’s something most people never say out loud: you are allowed to rest—even when your finances aren’t perfect. Actually, especially when your finances aren’t perfect.

Let’s be honest—worrying 24/7 doesn’t magically make money appear or create that perfect budget you can stick to. What it does is drain your energy, mess with your sleep, and leave you feeling anxious or stuck. Your shoulders get tighter. Your jaw clenches. Your mind races at 2 a.m. with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. Sound familiar?

That constant pressure can lead to some not-so-great decisions. Maybe you overspend to feel better. Maybe you avoid looking at your bank account. Or maybe you freeze up and do nothing at all because you just can’t deal. Totally normal reactions—but not helpful ones.

Now, imagine if you hit pause. Just for a moment.

Not forever. Not in a “bury-your-head-in-the-sand” kind of way. But in a “let’s give my brain a minute to chill so I can think straight” kind of way. That kind of rest—mental, emotional, even spiritual—isn’t laziness. It’s smart. It’s necessary. And believe it or not, it’s actually good for your finances.

When you take a break from the stress, you start thinking more clearly. You spot better solutions. You become more intentional instead of reactive. You make decisions that align with your long-term goals instead of chasing a quick fix. You get your creativity back. You breathe easier. And guess what? You’re way more likely to follow through on those budgeting plans, savings goals, or side hustle ideas when your nervous system isn’t fried.

Sometimes resting means going for a walk and leaving your phone at home. Sometimes it’s saying, “I’ve done what I can today, and that’s enough.” Sometimes it’s calling a friend and talking about anything but money. And sometimes, it’s just being still, praying, meditating, or sipping your favorite tea without guilt.

You don’t have to earn rest by having everything figured out. You can rest right in the middle of the mess. Right in the middle of the progress. Because you’re human. And because taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your finances.

So breathe. Stretch. Laugh. Cry. Take a nap. Light a candle. Dance it out in your kitchen if that’s your vibe. Let your body and your brain know: we’re not living in panic mode today.

You’ve got this. And even if things feel tight right now, you’re not stuck. You’re learning, growing, and becoming someone who handles money with clarity and confidence. That version of you? They need rest too.

To get more pointers on how to rest in your financial stress, join my FB community, Wallets and Well-Being!

Have You Done a Year-End-Checkup With Yourself Yet?

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The year is almost over—can you believe it? Life has likely been moving at lightning speed between the busy days, unexpected twists, and triumphs big and small. But before we barrel into the next chapter, let me ask you something:

Have you stopped to check in with yourself lately?

Not just a passing thought or a fleeting “how am I doing?” but a deep, intentional pause. A year-in-checkup can help you reflect on your journey, celebrate wins, and refocus your energy on what’s ahead.

Sounds good? Let’s dive into how this can be a game-changer for you.

What’s a Year-End-Checkup, Anyway?

Think of it like a personal progress report, but way more exciting. This isn’t about nitpicking or stressing over what didn’t get done. Instead, it’s about celebrating how far you’ve come and identifying what could use a little more love and attention.

You’ll take stock of important areas in your life:

  • Your Career and Finances: Are you thriving or just surviving? Have you hit those milestones you set for yourself, or is it time to tweak the plan?
  • Your Relationships: Which connections have been your lifeline? Which ones need a little TLC?
  • Your Health and Well-being: How’s your energy? Are you giving yourself the care you deserve?
  • Your Personal Growth: Have you learned something new? Pushed your boundaries? Pursued joy?

This checkup is your chance to reflect, recharge, and reimagine your next steps.

Why You’ll Love Doing This

Here’s the thing: without stopping to reflect, it’s easy to lose track of what really matters. We get so caught up in daily routines and putting out fires that we forget to ask, “Am I happy with where I’m headed?”

A year-in-checkup is empowering. It’s your opportunity to:

  • Celebrate what you’ve accomplished. (Yes, even the little wins!)
  • Spot areas that could use some extra care or attention.
  • Realign with what’s most important to you.

The best part? You don’t need to wait for January 1st to start fresh. You can make small, intentional shifts right now that will set you up for an even better year ahead.

How to Get Started (It’s Easier Than You Think)

Ready to give this a try? Here’s how to make it happen:

  1. Set the Mood: Grab a pen and notebook, your favorite drink, and find a cozy spot where you can think clearly.
  2. Ask the Big Questions:
  • What made me proud this year?
  • What challenged me, and how did I grow because of it?
  • What am I most grateful for?
  • What could I do differently to make next year even better?
  1. Celebrate the Wins: Take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. Seriously, give yourself credit—you’ve earned it.
  2. Dream Big: What’s one exciting thing you’d love to achieve next year? Write it down and make it your mission.

The Magic of Self-Reflection

When you take the time to check in with yourself, you’re not just looking back—you’re setting the stage for what’s next. You’re choosing to step into the next year with purpose, clarity, and confidence.

So, what do you say? Ready to give yourself the gift of reflection? A year-end-checkup isn’t just a task—it’s a chance to reconnect with you. And trust me, you’re worth every second of it.

Make it a date with yourself. Your future self will thank you.

Go on—get started! What’s the first thing you’re going to celebrate?

Living In Fear

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Living in fear often means constantly feeling anxious, worried, and scared. It can come from many sources, like personal experiences, societal pressures, or even things happening around the world. This state of mind not only affects our mental health but also has serious impacts on our physical health and overall happiness. Understanding what it means to live in fear and finding ways to overcome it is crucial for living a happy and healthy life.

Fear is a natural response to danger. It prepares our body to either fight or run away (fight or flight). But when fear becomes a constant part of our lives, it can turn into a big problem. This can happen because of:

  • Past Traumas: Bad experiences, like abuse, accidents, or violent events, can leave a lasting impact, making us afraid of similar situations in the future.
  • Ongoing Stress: Constant stress from work, relationships, or money problems can create a lingering sense of fear.
  • Mental Health Issues: Conditions like anxiety, PTSD, and depression can cause irrational fears and make us more sensitive to threats.
  • World Events: News about crime, terrorism, pandemics, and natural disasters can make us generally fearful of the world.

Living in fear affects both our mind and body:

  • Mental Health: Chronic fear can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental health problems. It makes it hard to concentrate, make decisions, and remember things.
  • Physical Health: Long-term fear can cause physical problems like headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and a weakened immune system. It can also contribute to heart disease and other long-term health issues.
  • Behavioral Changes: Fear can change our behavior, making us avoid certain situations or places, withdraw from social activities, and struggle with everyday tasks.

Dealing with chronic fear involves several steps:

1. **Recognize and Understand**: The first step is to identify what’s causing the fear. Understanding why certain things make us scared helps us tackle the root of the problem.

2. **Get Professional Help**: Therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), is very effective for treating chronic fear and anxiety. In severe cases, medication might be necessary.

3. **Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation**: Techniques like meditation, prayer, deep breathing, and yoga can help manage stress and reduce fear.

4. **Live a Healthy Lifestyle**: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, limiting social media, and getting enough sleep strengthen the body and mind, making them more resilient to fear.

5. **Build a Support System**: Having a strong network of family and friends provides emotional support and makes us feel safer.

6. **Learn About Fear**: Educating ourselves about fear and its effects can empower us to confront and manage our fears more effectively.

Living in fear is exhausting and affects every part of our life. It traps us in a cycle of anxiety and stress, preventing us from truly enjoying life. By recognizing fear, seeking help, and adopting healthy coping mechanisms, we can break free from fear’s grip and live a more peaceful and productive life. Understanding and addressing fear is not only important for our own well-being but also for creating a more compassionate and resilient society.

Mental Health For May

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In an increasingly fast-paced and interconnected world, the concept of healing often takes a back seat to the demands of daily life. However, the importance of healing, both physically and mentally, cannot be overstated. Healing is not merely a recovery from illness or injury; it is a holistic process that encompasses the mind, body, and soul, creating overall well-being and resilience. The process of healing is essential for restoring balance, well-being, and enabling individuals to lead fulfilling lives.

Physical healing is probably the most apparent form of recovery, often necessitated by injuries, illnesses, or surgeries. The body’s remarkable ability to repair itself is a testament to its resilience.

And while physical healing is vital, mental and emotional healing is equally important. Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress can have profound effects on an individual’s overall health. Healing the mind involves addressing these issues through various methods, including therapy, medication, mindfulness practices, and social support. Emotional healing, on the other hand, often requires acknowledging and processing past traumas and grief. This can be facilitated through counseling, expressive arts, and building healthy relationships.

The stigma around mental health has decreased in recent years, allowing more people to seek help without fear of judgment. This shift is crucial because mental health profoundly impacts physical health. Chronic stress, for example, can lead to cardiovascular problems, weakened immune function, and other health issues. By prioritizing mental and emotional healing, individuals can improve their overall quality of life.

Emotional healing addresses the scars left by traumatic experiences, grief, and stress. It is a journey that requires time, patience, and often the guidance of a mental health professional. Emotional wounds can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Healing these wounds involves acknowledging and processing painful emotions, embracing forgiveness, and building resilience.

The importance of emotional healing lies in its ability to free individuals from the burdens of the past, allowing them to engage fully with the present and look forward to the future. Emotional healing creates better relationships, improves mental health, and enhances overall quality of life. Practices such as mindfulness, therapy, practicing spirituality, and support groups are instrumental in this process, providing safe spaces for individuals to explore and heal their emotions.

Psychological healing goes hand-in-hand with emotional healing but delves deeper into the cognitive processes that shape our understanding and interaction with the world. It involves restructuring negative thought patterns, overcoming limiting beliefs, and developing a more positive and realistic outlook on life. Psychological healing is essential for those dealing with chronic stress, anxiety disorders, or the aftermath of traumatic experiences.

Therapeutic techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), meditation, and journaling are effective tools in the psychological healing process. These methods help individuals gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors, promoting a healthier and more balanced mental state. The importance of psychological healing lies in its ability to empower individuals to break free from the constraints of their past and build a more fulfilling life.

Healing is not a one-time event but a continuous journey. Life inevitably brings challenges and hardships, and the ability to heal from these experiences is crucial for long-term well-being. Embracing healing as an ongoing process encourages individuals to be proactive about their health and seek help when needed.

In today’s continually changing world, taking the time to heal is more important than ever. It is a reminder that well-being is not merely the absence of illness but a dynamic state of balance and harmony. By prioritizing healing, we honor our bodies, minds, and spirits, paving the way for a healthier and more meaningful life.

The Weight of Stress

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Stress – it’s a feeling we encounter frequently in our fast-paced lives. From work deadlines to personal obligations, stress seems to be an unavoidable aspect of modern living. While a little stress can sometimes be motivating, chronic stress can take a severe toll on both our mental and physical well-being. Recognizing the detrimental effects of stress is the first step towards a healthier lifestyle. Given the profound impact of stress on both mental and physical health, it’s crucial to prioritize stress management.

No one enjoys stress but often people don’t take it seriously until it’s too late. I myself didn’t deal with the stress I was going through at one point in my life until out of the blue I had an anxiety attack in the middle of my work day. My doctor told me I needed to make some changes before I ended up with a serious medical condition – or even have a heart attack. And I wasn’t old or out of shape when this happened. But I wasn’t dealing with the stressful situations in my life and continually told myself I could just push through a little longer. We do this to ourselves with the expectation that someday soon the stress will work itself out or go away.

The Mental Toll:

Stress is not merely a fleeting emotion; it’s a silent disruptor that can wreak havoc on our mental well-being. I’m sure you all know that chronic stress has been linked to a myriad of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and burnout. The constant activation of the body’s stress response can lead to an imbalance in neurotransmitters, affecting mood regulation and cognitive function. Over time, individuals may find themselves trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts, impaired concentration, and emotional exhaustion.

The Physical Consequences:

Beyond its impact on mental health, stress takes a toll on the body, showing up in a variety of physical symptoms. From headaches, insomnia, and muscle tension to gastrointestinal issues and compromised immune function, the repercussions of stress are wide-ranging. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones like cortisol can contribute to inflammation, increasing the risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders. The connection between stress and physical health is undeniable, making stress management a crucial aspect of overall well-being. The good news is there are things we can do to manage our stress.

First, you need to realize that stress hits everyone at some point in their lives and that having stress isn’t a sign of weakness. Here are some suggestions of things you can try when you find yourself struggling with life’s demands:

  • Get physical: This is one of the easiest and cheapest (and probably the most avoided) ways of dealing with stress. But physical activity not only helps in the release of endorphins, the body’s natural mood enhancers, but also provides a healthy outlet for stress relief.
  • Mindfulness, Meditation, and Prayer: Incorporating mindfulness practices, meditation, or prayer into daily routines can help calm the mind and reduce stress levels. These techniques promote relaxation and enhance emotional well-being.
  • Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle contribute significantly to stress resilience. Proper self-care is essential for building a healthy foundation for mental and physical well-being.
  • And one that isn’t talked about nearly enough – Seeking Support: Talking to friends, family, or seeking professional help when needed is crucial for managing stress effectively. Establishing a support system can provide valuable insights and coping mechanisms.

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but its effects on mental and physical health should not be underestimated. By recognizing the signs of stress and implementing effective stress management strategies, we can protect our well-being and lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury – it’s a necessity.