financial-coach

What Affordability Really Means After Divorce

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

There’s a moment after divorce or a major life reset when things finally settle down and everything gets quiet.

The paperwork is signed.
The adrenaline fades.
And you’re standing in your kitchen at 9:30 p.m., eating cereal for dinner, wondering how this became your life.

That’s usually when the question shows up:

Can I buy a home or keep the one I’m in on my own?

Not to prove anything.
Not to “win” the divorce.
Not to impress anyone who doesn’t pay your bills.

Just to build something steady again.

If that’s where you are, let me say this gently: buying a home after divorce is different. Not impossible. Just different. And God’s not surprised you’re here.

I know this season well. I’ve lived it. And I’ve watched God meet people right in the middle of it, sometimes with provision, sometimes with redirection, and occasionally with a sense of humor that feels almost rude at first.

Buying on one income changes everything.

There’s no “we’ll figure it out later.”
No second paycheck as a safety net in the background.
No shared “oops” fund when the water heater decides to retire early.

It can feel scary… and oddly freeing.

You stop asking:
“What can we qualify for?”

And start asking:
“What can I afford and still sleep at night?”

That question is wisdom.

After divorce, many people go one of two ways:

They either tell themselves,
“I guess I don’t get to want much anymore.”

Or they swing hard in the other direction, like,
“I’ve been through enough. I deserve this house.”

Both reactions make sense. Neither one makes great financial decisions.

Budgeting on one income isn’t God telling you to live small forever. It’s Him inviting you into stability.

It’s knowing:

  • What your income supports without constant stress
  • How much margin you need to feel safe
  • What makes your nervous system calm, not clenched

Here’s where people get tripped up.

They focus on:
“Can I make the payment?”

But forget:

  • Repairs don’t care that you’re newly single
  • Utility bills don’t accept emotional coupons
  • Maintenance doesn’t show mercy just because you’re tired

Owning a home should not require prayer every time the fridge makes a noise.

Your home should support your life, not consume it.

God is a provider. But, He’s not asking you to ignore math.

Emotional buying is very real after divorce

Let’s be honest.

After loss, people shop with feelings.

They buy the house that quietly says:
“I’m okay.”
“I made it.”
“I didn’t lose everything.”

Or the house that whispers:
“I shouldn’t want much.”
“I’ll stay small.”
“I don’t trust good things anymore.”

Neither extreme is sinful. Both are human. But finding stable middle ground is best.

Your house doesn’t need to heal your heart. God does that work. Your house just needs to be a safe place to land.

One of the most freeing thoughts rebuilding buyers can have is this:

“My home doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to work.”

Work for your income.
Work for your peace.
Work for the life God is rebuilding, not the one you’re grieving.

Sometimes that means:

  • Less square footage
  • A longer timeline
  • A simpler layout
  • A different plan than the one you had before

And sometimes it means letting yourself want something nice again without guilt. God is not offended by your desire for beauty or comfort.

Why I Specialize in This Season

I work with divorced, newly single, and rebuilding homebuyers because I understand the layers.

The financial reset.
The emotional exhaustion.
The quiet prayers that sound like, “Please don’t let me mess this up.”

Buying a home after divorce isn’t just a transaction. It’s a moment of direction.

And when done thoughtfully, with wisdom, numbers, prayer, and a little grace for yourself, it can be one of the most stabilizing decisions you make.

Not because it fixes everything.
But because it gives you a place to breathe while God continues to rebuild the rest.

And yes, you might still eat cereal for dinner sometimes.

That’s okay too.

Why Are You Holding Yourself There?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I’m going to say what you’ve probably been thinking:

You’re worn out.

Not in the “I should go to bed earlier” way. More in the “I’m carrying ten different worries and pretending I’m fine” way.

Trying to figure out how you’ll ever buy a home when everything feels overpriced.
Trying to rebuild financially after a divorce that flipped your life inside out.
Trying to stop the money disagreements with your partner because you both look at dollars and bills through completely different lenses.

It adds up.
And it weighs on you in ways people don’t always see.

But you’re not just tired of the situation.
You’re tired of feeling like you’re doing everything you can… and still not getting anywhere.

And deep down, you might be waiting.

Waiting for the “right time.”
Waiting until life settles.
Waiting until you’re less stressed, less busy, less overwhelmed.

But think about it… when was the last time life slowed down for any of us?

You might be telling yourself you’ll start once things calm down.
But somehow, every week comes with a new fire to put out.

And while you’re waiting?

Time keeps moving.

The next six months are coming whether you’re ready or not.
The next year is still going to show up, even if you spend the whole time in pause mode.
Life isn’t going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Okay, now’s a good moment.”

Life is going to happen, with or without you.

And I’m saying this with love:

If you keep waiting for life to feel peaceful, you’ll be waiting forever.

I’m not judging you. I’ve lived this.
I’ve stalled.
I’ve told myself, “I’ll start once things slow down.”
Meanwhile, life kept tossing curveballs, and I was still trying to figure out how to make a dollar behave.

And somewhere in all this, there’s a steady nudge from God that says:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” (Proverbs 16:3)

It doesn’t say after you fix everything.
It doesn’t say once everything is organized, clean, and predictable.
It just says: Commit.

Show up as you are.
In the mess.
With the fear.
With the busy schedule.
With the long list of worries.

Because God doesn’t need perfect timing. He just needs willingness.

You might feel like you have too much going on to start fixing your finances.

But imagine how heavy things will feel six months from now if nothing changes.

Imagine being in the exact same spot or even further behind a year from today:
Still overwhelmed, still guessing, still exhausted.

That’s the part we don’t think about enough.

Waiting isn’t neutral.
It costs you peace.
It costs you progress.
It costs you time you can’t get back.

And look, you’re not asking for a yacht.
You’re not trying to impress anybody.
You just want stability.
A future that feels steady.
A home that doesn’t stretch every part of you thin.
A bank account that doesn’t give you heartburn.

You deserve that.
Not someday.
Not “when things settle.”
Now.

And you can get there by starting with small, doable steps that don’t require your whole life to be perfect first.

So if you’re sitting there thinking:

“I’m drowning in decisions.”
or
“I can’t focus on this right now. I have too much going on.”

Let me gently ask:

Isn’t that the exact reason to start now?

Life won’t magically get easier.
But you can get stronger, clearer, and more prepared, one step at a time.

Imagine where you could be next year if you started today.
Imagine looking back thinking, “I’m glad I didn’t wait again.”

And when you’re ready, I’ll walk with you.
We’ll get your finances steadier.
We’ll get your credit where it needs to be.
We’ll get you prepared to buy a home without losing your mind.

Because you’re not too late.
You’re just at a turning point, and it’s time to move forward, not keep waiting for permission from a moment that may never come.

Are You Throwing the Big Fish Back?

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You’ve probably heard the story about a man fishing by the river. He was catching more fish than anyone else, so people started gathering to see what he was doing differently. But when they watched closely, they got confused. Every time he caught a fish, he pulled out a tape measure. If the fish was smaller than eight inches, he kept it. If it was bigger, he tossed it back into the water.

Someone finally asked him, “Why in the world are you throwing back the big ones?”
The man replied, “Because my frying pan is only eight inches wide.”

Now, most of us would laugh at that, right? But a lot of us are doing the exact same thing with our finances.

We pray for financial blessings. We talk about wanting to save more, earn more, or get out of debt. Yet when opportunity knocks, we throw it right back because it doesn’t fit the size of our current “frying pan.”

Maybe you’ve said things like:

  • “I could never make that much money.”
  • “I’ll always be bad with budgeting.”
  • “People like me don’t get ahead financially.”
  • “I don’t deserve more.”

That’s not reality. That’s our own limiting belief.

You might be asking God to bless your finances, but He’s waiting for you to expand your capacity to receive it. It reminds me of Matthew 25:29, where Jesus says:

“For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

That verse isn’t saying God plays favorites; it’s about stewardship. When we handle what we have well, more comes. But when we let fear or disbelief call the shots, we end up tossing big opportunities back because they don’t fit our comfort zone.

And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not even about lack of opportunity — it’s about our habits. You can’t pray for financial peace and then let Amazon talk you into buying a 3 a.m. “emergency candle holder” because it was on sale.

If that stings a little, I get it. I’ve been there too. We’ve all made financial decisions that made us shake our heads later. But awareness is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • What’s really keeping me from saving more or paying off debt?
  • When did I start believing I wasn’t “good with money”?
  • Who told me I couldn’t have more?

Those thoughts didn’t appear out of nowhere. They came from experiences, family patterns, and sometimes fear. But Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That includes how you think about money.

When you change your beliefs, your behavior follows. Replace “I’ll never get ahead” with “I’m learning how to build stability.” Replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I plan for it?”

The truth is, God can bless you with bigger fish, but you’ve got to be ready to receive them.

So maybe it’s time to stop throwing back the blessings because they don’t fit your current situation. Stretch your faith, adjust your mindset, and grab yourself a bigger frying pan.

Because when you do, you’ll realize the abundance you’ve been praying for has been swimming right in front of you the whole time.

You Know What to Do. So Why Aren’t You Doing It?

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Let’s cut straight to it.
You probably already know how to fix your money problems.

You’ve read the blogs. You’ve watched the videos.
You know how to budget, how to save, and what not to buy on impulse.
So if knowledge was the answer, you’d already be good.

But you’re not stuck because you don’t know. You’re stuck because you don’t trust yourself to follow through.

And that’s a different kind of problem.

It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the stories.

Every money habit you have; the overspending, the procrastination, the avoidance, is connected to a story you’ve told yourself for years.
Maybe it’s:
“I’ve never been good with money.”
“I’ll never have enough.”
“I’ll start once I make more.”

And every time you act in a way that fits that story, it reinforces it.
Not because you want to stay stuck, but because it feels familiar.

Familiar feels safe, even when it’s expensive.

So you keep living on autopilot, repeating the same behaviors you swore you’d stop doing… because doing something different requires a new identity, not just new information.

Let’s get real for a second.

You don’t need another budget app.
You don’t need a color-coded spreadsheet.
You don’t even need another “money challenge.”

What you do need is a better understanding of why you don’t believe yourself when you say you’ll change.

Because if you’ve broken a promise to yourself enough times, you stop trusting your own word.
And without trust, motivation doesn’t matter.

So what can you actually do?

Let’s shake things up a little. Not with more rules, but with real moves.

1. Stop setting “perfect world” goals.
You don’t live in a perfect world. Stop making plans for one.
If your budget only works when nothing goes wrong, it’s not realistic, it’s fantasy. Build in real life. Build in the unexpected. Build in grace.

2. Change your environment before you change your behavior.
If your phone is full of shopping apps, delete them.
If you always overspend with certain friends, start suggesting hangouts that don’t cost money.
You can’t keep your same habits and expect your money to behave differently.

3. Make your progress visible.
We love seeing “wins,” but most financial change happens quietly like paying $200 more than the minimum payment regularly, saying no to dinner out, skipping the sale. Track it somewhere you can see it. Progress you can see becomes progress you protect.

4. Create small discomfort on purpose.
Change never happens in your comfort zone. Set up small challenges that stretch you; a no-spend weekend, a savings goal that feels slightly out of reach, a conversation with someone about debt that you’ve been avoiding.
You don’t need chaos. You need tension that teaches you self-control.

5. Ask better questions.
Instead of “Why can’t I stick to this?” ask, “What do I gain by not changing?”
Because if you’re holding onto a habit, even a bad one, it’s doing something for you; giving you comfort, control, or distraction. When you find that reason, you can finally replace it with something healthier.

Here’s the truth no one likes to hear:
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t have a plan.
They stay stuck because they’re addicted to the version of themselves that’s used to struggling.

Change costs identity.
And until you’re willing to let go of who you’ve been with money, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns, just with better excuses.

So maybe the question isn’t “Why am I not doing what I know I should do?”
Maybe it’s “What part of me is afraid of what happens if I actually do it?”

Because sometimes it’s not fear of failure holding you back — it’s fear of finally succeeding.

The Addiction No One Talks About

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I saw this quote recently, and I swear it leapt off the screen and side-eyed me:
“If you don’t think you’re addicted to something, try fasting from it.”

Well… that felt a little personal.

Because my first thought was, Oh, I could give up anything if I had to.
And then I imagined going a week without coffee, Amazon, or that little thrill I get when I see “Your order has shipped.”
Suddenly, I realized, yeah, maybe I am a little addicted.

Financial Fasting Hits Different

Now, before you think I’m suggesting a wilderness fast with no water and locusts, calm down. I’m talking about a financial fast; no unnecessary spending for a set time.

No takeout. No “just one quick Target run.” No late-night scrolling on Etsy, convincing yourself you need another candle that smells like “Peaceful Rainforest Serenity.”

If you want to know what’s got a grip on you, try saying no to it for seven days.
The first day, you’ll feel strong. Day two, you’ll justify everything. By day three, you’ll be eyeing your debit card like it’s the last donut in the box.

The moment you tell yourself no, you start to see what’s really driving the yes. But that’s where the learning happens.

What God Showed Me

When I went through my divorce, I didn’t just lose a marriage; I lost my sense of safety. And without realizing it, I tried to buy that feeling back. New clothes, dinners out, little treats “to cheer myself up.”

And I remember God nudging me one day: “You’re trying to fill an emotional hole with financial band-aids.”

Ouch again.

Because He was right. What I really needed was peace. Not another Amazon box on my porch.

Money wasn’t my problem. My need for comfort was.
And only God could really meet that need.

The Real Addiction

It’s not always the spending we’re hooked on.
It’s the feeling it gives us. The comfort, control, or distraction.
And when those feelings fade, we’re right back where we started, wallet lighter and heart still hungry.

That’s why fasting, financial or otherwise, can be such a powerful reset. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about revelation.

When we stop feeding the habit, we start hearing from God in the quiet.
And He has this funny way of showing us what we’ve been running from… and what we actually need.

Let’s Dig a Little Deeper

Here’s where the life coach in me steps in:
If you find yourself overspending, ask what need you’re really trying to meet.

Are you buying to feel seen?
To escape stress?
To reward yourself because no one else is clapping for your effort?
Or maybe, you’re trying to create a sense of control in a life that feels unpredictable.

When you can name the feeling behind the behavior, you start to break the pattern.
And when you bring that awareness to God, He can actually heal the part of you that’s reaching for something temporary to soothe something deeper.

Try It

Pick one thing to fast from financially. It might be DoorDash, Amazon, Starbucks, or online browsing when you’re bored.

Every time the urge hits, stop and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What am I hoping this purchase will fix?
  • Is there another way I can meet that need, spiritually, emotionally, or practically?

Then invite God into that space.
Pray. Take a walk. Journal. Call a friend.
You’ll start to see what’s been running your money (and maybe your peace) without your permission.

Sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough money.
It’s that we’re spending to fill a void only God and a little self-honesty can heal.

And when you fast from what controls you, you finally make room for what frees you.

And hey, if you make it all seven days without an Amazon relapse, reward yourself with… well, prayer. Or maybe a walk. But not another candle, okay? (And no—adding just one thing to your Amazon cart “for later” doesn’t count as fasting. Nice try.)

Your First Paycheck Is Coming. Let’s Make Sure It Stays

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Graduation caps have been tossed, your diploma is somewhere under a pile of moving boxes, and you’ve finally figured out how to make ramen taste like a real meal. Congratulations! You’re officially a recent graduate and now, welcome to adulthood, where you’ll quickly discover that your student loan servicer knows more about you than your grandma does.

As you prepare to dive into the job market or just landed your first “real” job, there’s one person you might want to bring into your corner, no, not your cousin who’s “really into crypto” or your roommate who swears they’re going to retire off of TikTok earnings. We’re talking about a financial coach.

Now, you might be thinking, “Why would I hire a financial coach? I don’t even have any finances yet. I have vibes and debt.” Fair point. But that’s exactly why now is the perfect time.

A financial coach isn’t just someone who tells you to stop buying $6 lattes (though they might gently suggest a reusable mug and a better budgeting app). They’re more like your personal money GPS helping you avoid the financial potholes you can’t even see yet. Most people only think about financial guidance once things are already on fire. Collections notices, overdraft fees, or the haunting realization that they accidentally blew their entire paycheck on concert tickets and Uber Eats. A financial coach helps you get ahead of those moments and build a roadmap for your money that doesn’t rely on hope and impulse.

Imagine starting your financial life with intention instead of regret. Knowing how to set up a budget that doesn’t make you feel like you’re grounded. Understanding how to tackle student loans without crying. Learning how to save for future-you—yes, the one who wants to travel, buy a house, or finally replace that cracked iPhone screen.

Plus, working with a coach can help you build confidence. You’ll finally stop nodding blankly when someone says “Roth IRA” and start using terms like “emergency fund” and “compound interest” without breaking into a cold sweat. It’s like having a financial translator—someone who helps you make sense of adult money things without making you feel like you failed Econ 101.

And the truth is, building good habits early is like investing in your future self. Think of your money like a plant: if you water it now and give it the right conditions, it grows. If you wait too long, it gets droopy, weird, and you end up frantically Googling “how to revive dead succulents” except it’s your credit score.

Sure, you could try to figure it all out on your own. There’s YouTube, TikTok, Reddit threads with advice from anonymous users named “StonkMaster420.” But if you want tailored guidance, real support, and someone who doesn’t vanish when the economy wobbles, a financial coach is worth it. They’ll help you build a plan you can stick to even if you’re still living with roommates and your “retirement plan” is just “not working forever.”

So, before you splurge on celebratory sushi or finance a couch you can’t afford, consider this: hiring a financial coach as a recent grad doesn’t mean you’ve got it all together. It means you’re smart enough to want to have it together. And that, my friend, is the kind of energy your bank account will thank you for—long after the ramen days are behind you.

*Whether you just said “I do” or just tossed your graduation cap, this summer is the perfect time to take control of your finances and set yourself up for long-term success.

I’m offering special discounted financial coaching sessions for:
Engaged or Newly Married Couples – Build a solid financial foundation together with guided money talks, budgeting support, and shared goal planning.
Recent Graduates – Learn to manage your income, student loans, and savings with confidence as you step into the real world.

No matter your stage, now is the time to create a plan that works for your future.

Offer ends August 31st — Limited spots available!

Schedule a free insight session here