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The Hidden Lesson Behind Those Gifts on the Porch

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I remember being a little kid, maybe five or six, coming home one cold winter night with my sister and parents to our tiny house heated by a coal burning stove. It was around Christmas, and we’d been gone all day. When we got back, there were gifts sitting on the back doorstep, one for every single person in the family.

And in my little kid brain, I thought, Wow, Santa really outdid himself this year! I remember feeling so happy, so excited. It felt magical.

What I didn’t understand then, and what hit me a lot later, was that those gifts weren’t from Santa. They were from people in town who knew we didn’t have much that year. People who quietly showed up to make sure we still had a Christmas.

And I’ll be honest, when I figured that out as an adult, it hit hard. Because that’s when I realized… we were probably the poorest family in town.

Now, as a kid, you don’t think much about money. You just know what you have and what you don’t. But growing up with that kind of experience, it stuck with me. It planted this belief deep down that not having money meant something about me. That if I wasn’t doing well financially, I was somehow “less than.”

And for a long time, I carried that into adulthood.

If I wasn’t making enough money, I felt embarrassed. If someone asked how much I made or what I did for work, I’d tense up a little. Even when I started doing okay, there was still this fear in the back of my mind that it could all disappear, that I might end up back on that porch, being the family that needed someone else to show up for them.

That kind of shame can run deep. It shows up in the way you spend, the way you save, even in the way you talk about money. You might feel guilty for having it, or guilty for not having enough of it. And the truth is, neither one feels good.

It took me years to unlearn that. To realize that my worth has nothing to do with my income. That money isn’t good or bad. It’s just a tool. And when you know how to use it, it can give you options, peace, and the freedom to help others the way someone once helped my family.

That night, those mystery gifts on the doorstep, they taught me a lot more than I realized at the time. They taught me about kindness, about quiet generosity, and about what it feels like to be on the receiving end of grace.

Now, when I think about money, I think about that balance between giving and receiving, between being smart with what you have and being grateful for what you’ve been given.

And I think maybe that’s something we all need to remember. You can grow up poor, make mistakes, feel shame, and still learn how to create a healthy relationship with money.

We need to learn being broke isn’t permanent. But the lessons it teaches you about resilience, about gratitude, about empathy – those can change your life forever.

If you’d like some tips and tricks on dealing with holiday spending or personal finance all year round, follow me on any social media platform.

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And if you’d like to schedule a free call with me, go here– https://tulincu.com/

The Middle

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

There’s a stretch of life that feels like a pressure cooker. You’re not just building your own future, you’re supporting everyone else’s too. The kids still need you. The parents now do, too. And somehow, you’re expected to keep the lights on, stay sane, and have a retirement plan in place.

Welcome to the middle.

This stage, often called the “sandwich generation”,  is where so many people find themselves emotionally stretched and financially scrambled. You’re the go-to person for school pickups, sports fees, emergency dental appointments, and also the one researching Medicare plans, managing doctor visits, and making sure your parents don’t fall for the latest scam call.

It’s a season of deep love, real responsibility, and if we’re being honest…a little chaos.

The Unspoken Toll

Let’s talk numbers for a second. It’s not just the emotional labor. It’s the money.

You might be covering part of your parents’ prescriptions, helping with their rent, or paying for in-home care. At the same time, your teenager just announced they want to tour colleges, each one with a tuition price tag that could fund a luxury car.

Add in your own rising property tax, food costs that feel like a prank, and the guilt of not saving enough for your own retirement, and yeah, it’s a lot.

And here’s the kicker: Most people in this spot don’t talk about it. They just quietly stretch their budgets, skip vacations, and push their own goals to the back burner.

The Myth of “Having It All Together”

There’s this subtle pressure to pretend you’re managing just fine. But behind closed doors, the budget spreadsheet isn’t adding up. You’ve dipped into savings. You’re making minimum payments. And sometimes, you wonder how long you can keep this up.

If this is you, let me say this clearly: “If it feels like you’re sinking, maybe it’s because you’ve taken on a load too heavy to carry alone.

What You Can Do (Even If It’s Not Perfect)

You may not be able to fix everything overnight, but there are a few things that can make this season more manageable:

  • Get brutally honest about your numbers. It’s tempting to avoid the hard look at the bank account. But clarity is a kindness to your future self.
  • Prioritize ruthlessly. You can’t give everyone everything. Choose what really matters right now; maybe it’s college savings over a new car, or saying no to a costly family event you can’t swing this year.
  • Ask for help. From your siblings, from your partner, from a financial coach. You don’t have to do this alone.
  • Talk to your kids and your parents. When transparency is shared with love and care, it builds trust, and sometimes it even sparks unexpected solutions, like scholarships or shared caregiving that come out of family brainstorming sessions.
  • Give yourself grace. This isn’t a season of perfect plans. It’s a season of surviving with heart.

This Is Temporary

It doesn’t always feel like it, but this season will change. Your parents won’t need the same level of care forever. Your kids won’t live at home forever (even if it really seems like they might). And eventually, you’ll come up for air.

But while you’re in the middle, remember this: You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing what strong, loving, resilient people have always done—figuring it out, one hard decision at a time.

And that, my friend, is something to be proud of.

The Beauty of Memories: The Heartbeat of Our Lives

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Isn’t it incredible how a single scent, sound, or snapshot can take you back in time? One whiff of sunscreen, and you’re on a sun-drenched beach from years ago, laughing with friends. A song plays, and suddenly, you’re dancing at your high school prom, feeling every bit as alive as you did then. That’s the beauty of memories—tiny time capsules packed with emotion, ready to transport us in an instant.

Memories aren’t just the highlight reel of our lives; they’re the stories that shape us. They remind us of where we’ve been, who we’ve loved, and how far we’ve come. And their true magic? They connect us, heal us, and inspire us to live fully.

Ever stumbled across an old photo and felt a warm flood of emotions? Maybe it’s that blurry snapshot from a family road trip where everything went hilariously wrong—or that selfie you took with someone you love on the best day of your life. Those moments are more than pictures; they’re pieces of who you are.

Memories are our emotional time machines. They bring joy, comfort, and sometimes, a touch of sadness. That’s okay—it’s all part of their beauty. They remind us we’ve lived, felt deeply, and have grown.

Not all memories are sunshine and rainbows, and that’s what makes them so valuable. The tough ones—the heartbreaks, mistakes, and setbacks—carry the biggest lessons. They can teach us about forgiveness, show us how far we’ve come, and remind us that we’re stronger than we thought.

And let’s not forget the triumphs! Those shining moments of success—your first big win, the time you nailed that impossible goal—are proof that you’re capable of amazing things. When you need a boost, these memories are your biggest cheerleaders.

There’s something magical about shared memories. Sitting around a dinner table, swapping stories with loved ones, laughing until your sides hurt, or texting late into the night remembering special moments from the past and smiling as you drift off to sleep—those are the moments that glue us together.

And it’s not just about the here and now. Shared memories create legacies. Think about the stories your grandparents told you. They’re not just anecdotes—they’re pieces of history that shaped your family. Every memory we share keeps those connections alive, even across generations.

Here’s the thing about memories: they’re not just something you look back on. They’re also something you’re creating every single day.

That spontaneous road trip? That’s a memory in the making. The time you stayed up way too late talking with a friend? Another one for the treasure chest. The beauty of life is that every moment holds potential to be a story you’ll want to revisit again and again.

So, say yes to the adventure. Be present in the quiet moments. Laugh, love, and soak it all in—because today’s little joys are tomorrow’s cherished memories.

In our demanding and often chaotic lives, it’s easy to let memories slip through our fingers. But preserving them doesn’t have to be complicated. Snap that photo. Write down how you felt after a big milestone. Share stories with the people you care about.

But most importantly, relive them. Close your eyes and remember the way your favorite day smelled, sounded, and felt. That’s how memories stay alive—not just in your mind, but in your heart.

Memories are life’s greatest treasures, not because they capture the past, but because they remind us of the beauty of living. They’re proof that we’ve loved, learned, and truly experienced this wild, wonderful ride of life.

So, as you keep moving forward, carry your memories with you. Let them be the spark that lights your way and the reason you dive headfirst into new adventures. After all, life isn’t just about the moments—it’s about the memories we create along the way.

Ho Ho Ho or No No No

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I don’t know about you, but this year has flown by! It feels like just yesterday we were setting goals, making plans, and envisioning what 2024 would look like. And yet, here we are, nearing the holiday season, reflecting on all the things that went well and, let’s be honest, the plans that didn’t exactly pan out. So, as the end of the year draws near, I’m making a conscious choice not to go into the holidays without a plan. How about you?

For so many of us, this season is filled with joy, laughter, and a sense of wonder that lights up our hearts. But we know that’s not the case for everyone. For some, it brings feelings of anxiety, stress, and loneliness. This time of year, even amid festive lights and cheerful carols, can be challenging for those carrying emotional weight. And I believe that’s all the more reason to approach the holidays with intention and care. Let’s talk about how we can all prepare for the upcoming season—whether it’s the best time of the year for you or one you’re a little hesitant to face.

Before jumping into holiday prep, let’s take a moment to pause and reflect. What moments from this year stand out to you? What brought you joy, and what challenges helped you grow? Taking time to acknowledge these moments can offer a sense of closure on the year, making it easier to move into the holidays with clarity and gratitude. Write these reflections down, or share them with someone close—it’s a beautiful way to honor the year that’s nearly behind us.

A lot of us set intentions at the start of a new year, but the holiday season is a fantastic time to do the same. Setting an intention—whether it’s to slow down, spend more time with loved ones, or take better care of yourself—can help you create a meaningful experience. Maybe your intention is simply to be present, appreciating the small, fleeting moments of joy that often slip by unnoticed. Or perhaps it’s about reconnecting with loved ones, strengthening bonds, and making memories.

Think about what you want to prioritize this season. And here’s a little tip: write it somewhere you’ll see every day. This gentle reminder can help you stay grounded and focused, even when things get busy.

Plans don’t have to be grand or complicated to make the holiday season feel special. Sometimes, it’s as simple as committing to a quiet night in or setting aside a few minutes each day for yourself. This could mean deciding which gatherings you want to attend, identifying a few people you’d like to reconnect with, or setting aside days specifically for rest.

A holiday plan could also be as practical as budgeting for gifts, so you can enjoy giving without financial stress. Or, it could involve mapping out a self-care routine if the season is overwhelming for you. Whatever it looks like, having a plan can help ease some of the holiday pressure, allowing you to focus more on what truly matters to you.

The holidays can bring out a mix of emotions, and sometimes, we can feel guilty if we’re not as happy as we think we “should” be. Know that it’s okay to experience the season in your own way. Take time for yourself when you need it. That might mean saying no to certain events or stepping away from social media if it’s adding stress. Remember, joy doesn’t have to be forced. Give yourself permission to enjoy the season in ways that genuinely fill you up.

For many, giving back is one of the most fulfilling parts of the holiday season. If you’re looking for ways to spread some joy, consider how you can support those in your community. It might be through volunteering, helping a neighbor, or simply offering a listening ear to someone who’s having a tough time. Giving doesn’t have to be extravagant or costly—it’s often the small acts of kindness that mean the most.

Above all, let’s make this season about gratitude. Whether it’s a quiet moment with a cup of coffee, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, or a beautiful winter sunset, savor these moments. They’re gifts in themselves, often unnoticed in the rush of daily life.

Let’s also remember to check in on each other. A quick call, a thoughtful text, or a coffee date can make a world of difference, especially to someone who might be feeling a little lonely. Connection doesn’t have to be elaborate; it just has to be genuine.

Join me this Wednesday 11/6 @ 8pm cst for the Find Your Wise Podcast where we dive deeper into preparing for the holidays.

https://www.youtube.com/@FindYourWisePodcast/streams

What Will Your Story Be

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Often time when someone thinks about that they want to leave behind for loved ones when they pass away, they think in terms of money, property, or some sort of an inheritance.

But how often do we think about the legacy, the memory of our life, we leave behind? Our choices and passions shape how we are remembered. It’s the impact we have on the people we know and the world around us.

Our legacy is made up of our actions, values, and contributions that last beyond our lives. It’s more than money or things; it’s about the values we pass on, the kindness we show, and the difference we make. A legacy isn’t just what we own but what we give to others through our behavior and the example we set.

Each of us creates a personal legacy through our relationships and choices. For example, parents leave a legacy through the lessons and values they teach their children, like honesty and kindness. Teachers shape their legacy by inspiring and educating their students.

Even small acts of kindness can create a positive legacy. Helping a friend, being there for someone in need, or volunteering can all have lasting effects. These actions make the world a better place and become part of how people remember us.

In our jobs and careers, we also build a legacy. It’s not just about what we achieve but how we treat others and how we contribute to our workplace. Good leaders build trust and help their teams succeed, creating a legacy of strong, supportive organizations. Innovators and creators leave legacies through their new ideas and inventions that push society forward.

Every job offers a chance to leave a mark. Doctors and healthcare workers save lives and improve health, leaving a legacy of care and compassion. Artists and writers create works that inspire and provoke thought, adding to our cultural heritage.

To think about your legacy, start by looking inward. Consider your values, passions, and the impact of your actions. Ask yourself: What’s important to me? How do I want my family and friends to remember me? What changes do I want to see in the world, and how can I help make those changes happen?

Creating a legacy takes effort and intention. It means setting goals that match your values and working toward them consistently. It’s also about understanding that what we do today shapes how we’ll be remembered in the future.

In the end, our legacy is a reflection of how we live our lives. It’s shaped by our choices, our relationships, and our commitment to making a positive difference. Whether our impact is big or small, each of us has the power to leave a legacy that shows who we truly are. As we go through life, let’s aim to create a legacy of love, kindness, and positive impact, ensuring that our presence is felt long after we’re gone.

Finding Balance in a Chaotic World

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

As the holiday season approaches, it’s all too common to find ourselves caught up in the intricate web of our own little worlds. The hustle and bustle of this time of year can easily cause stress, distraction, and a sense of overwhelming busyness. I am not exempt from getting trapped in the whirlwind of seasonal demands, and I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy, reflection, and connection, yet it often transforms into a frantic race against the clock. As the to-do lists pile up, it becomes increasingly challenging to maintain a sense of balance. The pressure to meet societal expectations, coupled with personal needs, can create a perfect storm of stress and distraction.

I confess that I have fallen victim to the trap of being consumed by it all this time of year. The constant demands of work, social and family obligations, and the ever-growing checklist of tasks to accomplish can make it difficult to pause and appreciate the true essence of the season. It becomes easy to lose sight of what truly matters in the whirlwind of chaos.

Knowing all the things we should do, but find ourselves unable to due to circumstances beyond our control, only adds another layer to the mix. Limited time, financial constraints, or unforeseen challenges can create a sense of helplessness, making it even more challenging to strike a balance between what we want to achieve and what is realistically possible.

So, how do we navigate this intricate balance of responsibilities and desires without succumbing to the stress and distractions that threaten to pull us under?

Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge our own limitations. We are only human, and it’s okay to recognize that we can’t do it all. Setting realistic expectations for ourselves and others allows us to prioritize and focus on what truly matters.

Next, finding moments of mindfulness within the chaos can be a powerful remedy. Taking a few minutes each day to step back, breathe, and reflect can provide clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. Whether it’s through meditation, a brief walk, counted breathing, or simply sitting in quietness, these moments of stillness can help ground us in the present.

Additionally, embracing a sense of gratitude can shift our perspective. Instead of dwelling on what we can’t do, let’s focus on what we can. Expressing thankfulness for the small joys and accomplishments, no matter how minor, can create a positive mindset that helps us more easily conquer the challenges we face.

Ultimately, the holiday season is a time to celebrate the spirit of giving, compassion, and connection. By finding a balance between our aspirations and the reality of our circumstances, we can navigate this season with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Let’s not allow the rush of our own little worlds to obscure the beauty of the season and the joy that comes from being present in the moment.