If you make more than $100,000 a year, you’d probably expect to feel pretty comfortable, right?

You have a good income. You pay your bills. You’re not out there buying $300 worth of clothes every time you have a bad day. You’re not making huge, impulsive purchases that you know you can’t afford.

So why does it feel like there’s never enough money at the end of the month?

You sit down and create a budget. You account for the housing, utilities, groceries, insurance, savings, gas, subscriptions and everything else you can think of.

You give every dollar a job. And yet you’re still coming up short. Or maybe you aren’t technically short, but there is very little left over.

You look at the numbers and think, where is all my money going?

This is where I think it’s worth looking a little deeper because sometimes the problem isn’t that you’re spending frivolously. It’s that you’re spending consistently.

Maybe every month there are massages. Maybe you get your nails done. Maybe there are wellness programs, supplements, memberships, treatments, classes or other things you’ve decided are important to your well-being.

And individually, none of these purchases seem unreasonable.

In fact, they’re easy to justify.

“I work hard.”

“I deserve this.”

“This is self-care.”

“It’s good for me.”

And maybe it is. Self-care matters. Doing things that make you feel good isn’t inherently a problem.

But what if you started asking a different question?

Not just, “Do I enjoy it?”

But…What am I hoping this will change for me?

There is a difference. And sometimes it’s a really important difference.

Because you can have a six-figure income and still use money to manage emotions you haven’t dealt with.

You can spend money on things that look completely healthy and responsible on the outside while something very different is happening underneath.

Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe you’re overwhelmed.

Maybe you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else and don’t know what it feels like to take care of yourself without buying something.

Maybe your life changed and you’re trying to figure out who you are now.

Maybe you’re constantly chasing that little feeling of relief. And every time you find something that gives you a little bit of it, you do it again.

Another appointment.

Another program.

Another treatment.

Another thing that promises to help you feel better, look better, be better or finally get your life together.

And because each purchase makes sense on its own, you never really see the pattern until you look at the whole picture.

That’s when the questions get more uncomfortable.

What if a lack of money isn’t the real problem?

What if your spending is telling you something?

That’s where financial coaching can become about so much more than a budget. Because I can help you put numbers on a spreadsheet all day long. But, if your spending is meeting an emotional need, a budget alone isn’t going to solve the problem.

You can make the perfect budget on paper and still find yourself spending money in the same places month after month because the spending is doing a job.

And until you understand what that job is, it’s really difficult to change the pattern.

That’s where the real work begins.

Not with cutting out every massage or telling yourself you can’t get your nails done. And definitely not with making your life miserable in the name of saving money.

But with getting curious about your money, your choices, your emotions, and about what you’re really trying to create with all that spending.

Because sometimes the thing you’re trying to buy isn’t the massage. It isn’t the manicure. And it isn’t the wellness program.

It’s the feeling you hope that comes with it.

And that is a very different conversation.

Maybe it’s time to start having it.