You Can’t Take It With You, But You Will Leave a Trail

Most of us don’t lie awake at night thinking about our “financial legacy.” We’re thinking about how to stretch this week’s paycheck, how to pay for braces or college or a leaky roof, and how to somehow enjoy life in the middle of all that. Legacy sounds like something for the rich. Like a trust fund with a nameplate.

But that’s a myth.
Your financial legacy isn’t about wealth. It’s about intention.

It’s not just what you leave behind, it’s how you live now.

And whether you’re the type to meal prep and coupon clip, or you’re on a first-name basis with DoorDash, you’re already building your legacy.

Let’s Back Up: What Is a Financial Legacy?

Your financial legacy is the impact your money habits, decisions, and values have on others, long after you’re gone. It’s not just a will or a life insurance policy (though please, go make one of those).
It’s the story your finances tell about your life. About what mattered. About what you prioritized. It’s the story your dollars tell about what mattered to you. Maybe it’s the house you built equity in and passed on. Maybe it’s the business you started from scratch that changed your family’s future. Maybe it’s that you taught your kids to tithe before they even understood how taxes work. Maybe it’s simply that you taught your kids how not to fear money.

Everyone leaves one.
The question is: Will yours be by design or by default?

Let me ask you this: when you think about your parents’ or grandparents’ relationship with money, what comes to mind? Was it survival mode? Scarcity? Generosity? Guilt? Hustle culture? Were there unspoken rules about debt, giving, or talking about money?

Those silent messages are part of a financial legacy. And if we’re not careful, we pass them on, whether we meant to or not.

So… What Do You Want It to Be?

Here’s where things get exciting, and, yes, a little convicting. You get to write this story. You get to choose what your money says about your life. And before you start spiraling into shame or overthinking your current bank balance, take a breath. Legacy isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about being intentional.

Some of the most powerful legacies don’t come with dollar signs.

Legacy isn’t just for “someday.” It starts now.
In the daily decisions.
In the silent generosity.
In the way you manage what you’ve been given, whether that’s a little or a lot.

Start with questions like:

  • What money values do I want to pass down?
  • What do I want my kids (or community, or nieces and nephews) to learn by watching me?
  • How do I want to model both faithfulness and freedom?

Maybe your financial legacy is showing your daughter she doesn’t have to go broke to prove she’s successful. Maybe it’s modeling generosity in small, consistent ways. Maybe it’s paying off your debt so your kids don’t inherit your stress.

And yes, maybe it is setting up a trust, or teaching your children how to run the family business. But that all starts with a change of mindset.

If all of this feels like a lot, take it one step at a time. You don’t need to fix everything overnight. You don’t need a six-figure income to have a seven-generation impact. You just need to start living your values with your money, right now, right where you are.

Your legacy isn’t just something you leave. It’s something you live.
And every time you choose wisdom over worry, generosity over fear, stewardship over chaos, you’re building it.

So again I ask:
What do you want your financial legacy to be?
And better yet…
What are you doing about it today?

What If I Mess It Up?  

Let’s talk about the panic that sets in when life throws you a curveball… and money starts lurking in the background like a nosy neighbor peeking through the blinds whispering, “You gonna handle this or…?”

Whether it’s a divorce, a new job, a layoff, a baby, an empty nest, or just waking up one day feeling like someone replaced your life with a new script and forgot to give you the next page, it’s wild how fast everything can change. And when it does, money decisions feel like fragile bomb wires you’re terrified to cut.

Suddenly, every question feels loaded:

  • Should I move?
  • Can I afford this new direction?
  • Do I cash out the retirement fund or just cry and scroll Zillow? (my former go-to)
  • What does “rebalance your portfolio” even mean, and why does it sound violent?

Why We Freeze (Even Smart People)

You can be incredibly capable and still find yourself absolutely paralyzed when it’s time to decide what to do with your money in a big life transition. Why?

Because money feels finite. It feels like whatever decision you make has to be the right one, or you’ll ruin everything.

You’re not clueless. Your life just outgrew the old plan.

We fear failure. Fear regret. Fear of making it worse. Fear of disappointing people. Fear of having to explain it to your ex, your mom, your financial advisor, or even just your cat, who seems unusually judgmental lately.

And so, instead of deciding, you start Googling things like:

  • “Is ‘hope’ a legit financial strategy?”
  • “Would a grown adult ask their mom to pick their health plan?”
  • “Is there a budget app that comes with a therapist?

You start cleaning the kitchen. You watch YouTube videos about minimalism. You open your spending plan, then immediately close it and make a snack. Decision fatigue sets in before you’ve even made a decision.

And then you realize you’re not stuck. You’re scared. And that’s okay.

Change, even the kind you asked for, is still a form of loss. You’re grieving the old version of you, the familiar routines, the financial plan that may have worked for that past season.

What you need isn’t a perfect plan. It’s a kind voice (yours or borrowed) that says:

“You don’t have to get it all right today. You just have to start.”

And if you’re a person of faith, here’s the reminder you might’ve needed: You don’t have to carry the weight of every decision on your own. God isn’t sitting back waiting for you to figure it out. He’s ready to walk with you through it. Ask Him. Even if your prayer is just, “God, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to do it alone.”

Money decisions are rarely one-and-done. They’re more like a recipe you can tweak along the way. Maybe you start with one small thing:

  • Cancel a subscription.
  • Ask someone you trust a question.
  • Look at your account balances without bracing for emotional impact.
  • Say out loud, “I want to feel safe with money again.”

Funny Thing About Fear…

Fear tries to convince you that making the wrong money decision is the end of the world. But let me tell you what usually ends up happening is you either:

  1. Make a good decision and feel amazing.
  2. Make a so-so decision and learn from it.
  3. Or…make a weird choice, fix it later, and now you’ve got a story that starts with “Okay, don’t judge me, but…”

And guess what? All of those paths still lead forward. And not one of them catches God off guard, even if you’re surprised by the outcome.

So, What Now?

If you’re in the middle of a life change and terrified to touch your finances, just breathe. You don’t need to build Rome (or your retirement plan) in a day.

Start by admitting you’re scared to choose. That honesty alone will take some of the power out of the fear. Then, get curious. Ask:

  • What do I need to feel a little more secure right now?
  • Is there someone who can help me think through this without pressure?
  • What’s one small money win I could try this week?

And pray. Even about your budget. Even about what’s in your cart. Even about whether to downsize or stay put. There’s no shame in asking God to lead you in the practical stuff.

Courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about showing up scared and doing something anyway. Even if that “something” is just opening your banking app without closing one eye and whispering a prayer first.

You’ve got this. Life changed, but you’re still here. And the future version of you is quietly cheering you on from the other side of this decision.

Also… your cat forgives you. Probably.

It’s Okay to Change the Plan

There’s a moment in life when you look around and think: I’m not who I used to be.

Maybe it’s subtle like realizing you no longer enjoy the things you used to. Maybe it’s big like going through a divorce, getting married, having a baby, switching careers, or stepping into entrepreneurship. Whatever it is, something inside you has shifted.

You’ve grown.

You’ve evolved.

So why are you still using the same money plan from a version of you that no longer exists?

The Budget That Doesn’t Fit Anymore

A money plan isn’t just a spreadsheet. It’s a reflection of your values, your priorities, your goals, and your identity. And if you’ve changed, if your life has changed, then sticking to the same old budget is like wearing clothes that don’t fit anymore.

Sure, they technically cover you. But they don’t feel right.
They pinch. They restrict. They don’t give you room to breathe, stretch, or move forward.

So, if you’re feeling off financially, it’s not necessarily because you’re doing something wrong.

It might just be that you’ve outgrown the plan.

A plan made by a different version of you. A version who was in survival mode, or trying to please everyone, or following rules that never really fit in the first place.

You’ve healed. You’ve evolved. You’ve stepped into a new season.

And new seasons call for new plans.

You’re Not “Bad With Money”—You’re Outdated

This part is important, so read it twice:
If you’re struggling with your finances right now, it might not be because you’re bad with money.

It might be because your money plan is built for a person you no longer are.

A single mom going back to school has a completely different financial reality than she did when she was child-free and working full-time.
A new entrepreneur can’t rely on the same paycheck-to-paycheck plan they used when they had a 9-to-5.
And someone who’s healing from a toxic relationship might need space, and a spending plan, that prioritizes self-care and rebuilding trust in themselves.

Your money needs to meet you where you are now, not where you were two years ago, or where someone else thinks you should be.

The Spiritual Side of Shifting Your Finances

For those of us who walk with faith, change is not only allowed, it’s expected.

God does not create you to stay the same. He prunes. He redirects. He places you in new seasons, not to punish you, but to grow you.

So why would your finances be any different?

Too often, we treat our finances like a separate part of life, like God is invited into our relationships, our parenting, or our healing… but not our bank accounts.

But God cares about it all.

He sees your desire to be a good steward. He knows the pressure you carry. And He’s not asking for perfection. He’s asking for surrender.

Sometimes, the tension you feel in your finances isn’t a failure. It’s God whispering, This plan no longer fits the person I’m growing you into.

So what if instead of judging yourself… you paused and listened?

What if the struggle was just an invitation to co-create something new with Him right beside you?

Give Yourself Permission

Here’s what I want you to know: You have permission to change your mind. You have permission to rewrite the plan.

You’re allowed to create a money strategy that reflects the season you’re currently in, not the one you survived, or the one you’re trying to impress others with, or the one that “should” make sense on paper.

Let it reflect your values now. Let it support your mental health now. Let it guide your decisions in ways that align with the truth of who you are now.

Your Financial GPS

Think of your money plan like a GPS. When you take a detour, whether by choice or by circumstance, the map doesn’t yell at you or freeze in judgment.

It simply says:
“Recalculating.”

And it gives you a new route.

So if you’ve changed… maybe it’s time your budget says, “Recalculating,” too.
Not because you failed. But because you’re headed somewhere new.
And you deserve a financial plan that can grow with you. One that’s rooted in grace, grounded in reality, and fueled by hope.

Need help with that recalculating moment?
That’s what I’m here for. Let’s make sure your money plan reflects this version of you, the one who’s still learning, still growing, and still worthy of wealth and peace.

The Untreated Truth

You can’t fix a leaky faucet by pretending the kitchen floor is just naturally damp. And you can’t heal what you won’t name. That’s where most of us get stuck. We feel the anxiety, the frustration, the pit in our stomach that shows up at 2 AM, but we wave it off. “Oh, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired.”

Sure. And I’m an Olympic figure skater. In heels.

The truth is, naming what’s going on is terrifying because it makes it real. Saying, “I’m scared about this new marriage,” or “I feel lost after this divorce,” or “Starting my business has me completely overwhelmed,” feels like putting a neon sign over our head that flashes: I DON’T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER.

But guess what? You don’t have it all together. None of us do. And the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can actually do something about it. Pretending everything is fine is like duct taping your check engine light and hoping for the best. Spoiler alert: that engine is still going to blow. Probably on the highway. Probably when you’re already late.

Life changes—whether you’re standing at the altar, staring at a positive pregnancy test, sitting across from a divorce attorney, or trying to figure out if LLC or S-corp makes you sound more impressive—will stir up every single unhealed, unnamed thing inside you. And money? Oh, money loves to poke those tender spots.

If you grew up thinking money was tight, or you watched your parents fight about it, or you felt like you never quite got it right yourself, guess what happens when you’re about to combine finances with a spouse, or figure out maternity leave, or split assets, or launch your dream business? All that old junk comes flying out like confetti from a busted balloon. And if you don’t name it, you’ll just keep reacting to it. You’ll pick fights over Target runs or blow up your budget because “you deserve it,” when really, you’re just trying to quiet that panicked little voice inside that you’re too scared to acknowledge.

When you name it—”I’m terrified I’ll mess up our finances like my parents did”—you take its power away. You can work with something you name. You can build a plan around it. You can create habits that make space for both your fear and your goals. You can even call in help—a coach, a therapist, a very honest best friend who doesn’t let you get away with your usual nonsense.

But you can’t fix what you’re pretending isn’t there.

So go ahead. Say it out loud. Whisper it if you have to. Write it down where no one sees it. Name the thing. The fear, the hurt, the story you keep dragging around. Because once you name it, you can finally start healing it. And believe me, that feels way better than pretending your kitchen floor is just… naturally damp.

Show Me Your Bank Statement and I’ll Show You What You Value

Let’s start with a question: When you think about being “good with money,” what pops into your head?

Saving more? Investing earlier? Maybe finally sticking to that not-yet-used budget that’s been silently judging you since January?

That’s all useful. But managing your money well isn’t just about math. It’s about meaning. If you’ve ever hit a financial goal and still felt a little… empty? Yeah, that’s your values trying to break through the noise.

Because if your money and your values aren’t on the same page, no amount of budgeting or earning will bring you real peace. Because the peace you’re looking for isn’t in your bank account.

Picture this: someone says they value peace and simplicity. But every weekend, they’re online shopping to cope with stress, signing up for side hustles they hate, and saying yes to every offer that comes with a paycheck no matter how soul-draining, all to pay for the shopping to “cope with the stress”.

That’s not peace. That’s burnout with a direct deposit.

We confuse “wants” with “values” all the time. Wanting something isn’t bad, it’s normal. But buying every want is like trying to build a stable life out of marshmallows. Fun for a minute. Messy later.

When you spend based on your values, your money decisions stop feeling like sacrifices and start feeling like freedom. You’re not depriving yourself. You’re choosing peace over pressure. Long-term joy over short-term dopamine.

But what are values, really?

Let’s pause. Because some people hear the word “values” and immediately think of something vague or preachy.

But values are just what matters most to you.

Not to your mom. Not to your best friend. Not to the influencer who “just can’t live without” her $40 matcha serum.

You might value creativity. Or rest. Or adventure. Or family. Or building a legacy. You don’t have to get it perfect, but you do have to get honest with yourself. Most of us don’t even stop to ask. We just chase the next thing because everyone else is doing it.

But clarity is powerful. When you really know what your values are, decision-making gets a lot easier. You stop asking, “Can I afford this?” and start asking, “Does this fit who I want to be or the life I want to live?”

Okay, you’re sold on the idea. Now what?

Here’s a simple (but not easy) process:

  1. Slow down and listen. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel grounded? Write it down. Pay attention to when you feel content, not just excited.
  2. Notice your spending. Pull up your transactions from the last 30 days. What did you buy that actually felt worth it? What left you feeling “meh”? Your bank account is already telling your story. Read it. It’s like the saying goes, show me your bank statement and I’ll show you what you value.
  3. Ask the value question. Before you buy, ask: “Is this aligned with my values or just a passing want?” Even better, try, “Would future me thank me for this?”
  4. Plan with your values in mind. Make room in your budget for what matters most, even if that means spending more on it and less elsewhere. If community matters, maybe you host more dinners instead of buying more clothes. If freedom matters, maybe you say no to the second job and work on living within your means. (Ouch, I know that one stung)

Success feels different when it’s aligned.

Aligning your money with your values doesn’t always mean you’ll spend less. But it does mean you’ll spend smarter. With intention. With integrity. With the “I actually like how I’m living” kind of satisfaction.

And weirdly, that kind of peace attracts more success. Because you’re no longer wasting energy chasing stuff that doesn’t even matter to you. You get focused. You make decisions faster. You stop comparing your life to people who aren’t even aiming for what you want.

Most of us are trying to build a life that looks good on paper. But what if you built one that felt good instead?

More money won’t always fix your life. But money aligned with your values? That’s the good stuff. That’s where peace and success stop competing and start walking hand-in-hand.

So take your time. Learn what matters to you. Then let your money follow.

That’s the real flex.

What If Your Money Mindset Matters More Than Your Income?

We often think money is all about numbers: budgets, balances, debt, and credit scores. And sure, those things matter. But I’ll let you in on something that’s not on most spreadsheets: gratitude has a direct impact on your financial life. And it’s bigger than you think.

You might be wondering, What does being thankful have to do with paying off debt or building wealth? The short answer? Everything.

Gratitude calms your spending triggers

When you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have, it’s easy to slip into the “I deserve this” spending spiral. You’re stressed, you’re tired, and suddenly that $70 online cart looks like self-care.

But when you’re grounded in gratitude, your perspective changes. You stop chasing happiness with your wallet because you’re already finding contentment in what you have. You’re not immune to temptation (none of us is), but you’re not ruled by it, either.

Gratitude says: “What I have is enough.”
And that mindset can slow down impulse spending faster than any budgeting app.

Gratitude brings awareness to what matters

When you’re grateful, you start paying attention. You see where your money is going and whether it lines up with your values.

You realize that the $120 a month going to random subscriptions you barely think about could be helping you save for something that truly matters, like your child’s education, your next big trip, or simply being able to breathe easier when bills come around.

Gratitude clears the fog. It reminds you that financial progress isn’t always about having more. It’s about using what you already have with intention.

Gratitude builds a mindset that welcomes abundance

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m just bad with money,” or “I’ll never get ahead,” that mindset becomes your ceiling. But gratitude pokes a hole in it.

When you start noticing the good, your ability to earn, your resourcefulness, and your progress start to improve, and you begin to believe that more is possible. That belief changes how you act. You ask for the raise. You start the side hustle. You get serious about your goals.

Gratitude doesn’t just make you feel better, it makes you bolder. And boldness leads to better financial choices.

I once worked with a woman who was drowning in credit card debt. She felt stuck, ashamed, and overwhelmed. But instead of starting with spreadsheets, we started with a simple gratitude practice. Every morning, she wrote down three things she was thankful for, even if it was just her morning coffee, her kids’ laughter, or getting to work on time.

It didn’t fix the debt overnight. But it did change her energy. She stopped spiraling. She stopped beating herself up. And with that clarity, she created a plan. Today, she’s paid off two of her four cards, built a small emergency fund, and told me, “I finally feel proud of myself again.”

That’s the power of gratitude.

How to practice gratitude with your money

You don’t need a journal and a sunrise (although that’s lovely too). Start small:

  • The next time you pay a bill, pause and say, “I’m grateful I can cover this.”
  • When you grocery shop, be thankful you have food and choices.
  • When you review your finances, celebrate progress—even $10 saved is a win.
  • Look back at past financial “mistakes” and instead of shame, thank them for the lessons they taught you.

Money isn’t usually a math problem. It’s an emotional one. Gratitude won’t magically erase debt or double your bank account overnight, but it will change how you approach money. And that change is the starting point for everything else.

Because when you shift your mindset from “not enough” to “I’m already rich in so many ways,” your money starts working with you, not against you.

And it can all start with one small thank-you.

The Startup Fantasy They Don’t Show on Social Media

Starting a business sounds so glamorous. You see the Instagram reels: laptops on the beach, perfect coffee mugs on pristine desks, captions like “be your own boss.” And sure, that part exists. Kind of. But behind those polished posts is a lot of sweat, late nights, and more than a few moments of quietly panicking while whispering “What have I done?” into a lukewarm slice of pizza.

The financial side? Well, let’s just say it’s not the part people rush to post about.

When you first get the itch to start your own thing, money feels like both the fuel and the fire. You need it to get going, but you’re also terrified of watching it burn too fast. It starts with those “just a few startup costs.” A website here, some software there, maybe a logo that you swear you can design yourself but end up spending hours searching UpWork and Fiverr to pay someone to do it for you. Before you know it, your credit card balance looks like a phone number and you’re muttering, “Well, that escalated quickly.”

Then comes the rollercoaster of income. One month you feel like a rock star. The next you’re googling “how to sell a kidney legally.” Welcome to entrepreneurship.

Here’s the thing most people don’t tell you upfront: the biggest danger isn’t the spending or even the slow months. It’s not having a plan. A lot of people walk into entrepreneurship with nothing but a great idea and a hope that “it’ll all work out.” Hope is lovely. But hope doesn’t pay vendors, taxes, or that health insurance bill that somehow doubled when you left your 9-to-5.

This is where having a financial coach comes in. And no, I’m not just saying that because it’s my job (okay, maybe a little). But seriously, someone needs to be your financial reality check while you’re dreaming big. You need someone who’ll ask, “Do you actually need that $900 course on how to grow your Instagram following?” Or, “Have you set aside money for taxes or are we going to cry together in April?”

A financial coach helps you build a plan that fits your actual life. Not someone else’s glossy highlight reel. We talk about things like setting up a business emergency fund (because stuff will go sideways), separating personal and business accounts (so you don’t accidentally use your grocery money to buy a new laptop), and figuring out how to pay yourself consistently—even when business feels like a rollercoaster strapped to another rollercoaster.

Starting a business is one of the most exciting and terrifying things you can do. You’ll have days where you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. You’ll have days where you Google job openings at Target because at least they offer benefits. But with a solid financial foundation, you can ride the ups and downs without constantly living in panic mode.

Money doesn’t have to be the thing that breaks your business. Done right, it can be what gives you freedom. The freedom to grow, to experiment, to fail and pivot, to take time off, to eventually sit on that beach (without bringing your laptop). And if you need someone in your corner helping you figure it out—well, you know where to find me. I’ll bring the spreadsheets. You bring the big dreams.

https://meetings.tulincu.com/schedule/672919734bae9a002c333ede

Mid-Year Money Check-Up: Are You Where You Wanted to Be in 2025?

Let’s start with the obvious: somehow, it’s already summer.

Wasn’t it just January? One minute we’re toasting to “New Year, New Me,” and the next we’re knee-deep in sunscreen, graduation invites, and last minute plans.

But before we get swept into vacation season and BBQ weekends, now’s a good time to ask: how are things going with your money?

No guilt. No panic. Just a good, honest check-in.

It’s about noticing where you are, what’s working, what isn’t and making small tweeks so you don’t roll into December with a shrug and a credit card bill you forgot about in July.

Here’s a simple way to reflect, adjust, and refocus without feeling overwhelmed or needing a spreadsheet-induced nap.

1. Look Back Before You Look Ahead
Pull out the financial goals you set in January if you can find them. If you didn’t write them down, no worries. Think back: what did you hope would happen with your money this year? Pay off a credit card? Build an emergency fund? Finally stop fighting with your budget?

Now ask yourself: are you closer to those goals than you were six months ago? Even a little bit? Great. If not, don’t spiral. You’re not behind you’re just getting data. Life throws curveballs. Budgets break. Priorities shift. That’s not failure. That’s being human.

2. Check the Numbers (Without Letting Them Boss You Around)
This is your quick glance at reality. Look at your spending. Check your savings. Peek at that debt. Are the numbers moving the way you want them to?

You don’t need to create a brand-new budget from scratch unless yours is a total dumpster fire, in which case, maybe give it a little refresh. But this is more about noticing trends. Are you spending way more on takeout than you realized? Is your savings account still sitting at $73.20?

Awareness is power, and it’s a lot less painful than pretending it’s all fine while your money quietly tiptoes out the back door.

3. Rework the Plan (Yes, You’re Allowed to Change It)
Maybe you’ve had some wins. Maybe you’ve had some setbacks. Either way, it’s okay to change the plan. In fact, it’s smart.

If a goal no longer makes sense, change it. If something felt realistic in January but now feels laughable, adjust it. Let this mid-year moment be about setting yourself up for success not holding yourself hostage to a plan that no longer works.

Refocus on what matters most now. Maybe you’re ready to go all in on paying down debt. Or maybe what you really need is a little breathing room in your budget so you can stop feeling tense every time your phone dings with a bank alert.

4. Choose One Thing to Stick With
This part’s important. Pick one small habit to carry into the rest of the year. Just one. Something doable. Something that keeps you connected to your money. Maybe it’s tracking your spending once a week. Maybe it’s putting $50 into savings every time you get paid. Maybe it’s finally canceling that gym membership you’re not using (we both know it’s time).

Financial success isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about doing one thing consistently. Then another. And another.

Let’s Wrap This Up
Mid-year is not a reason to panic. It’s an invitation to pivot. Whether you’re on track, off track, or have no idea where the track even is, this is your moment to stop, check the map, and decide where you want to go next.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire financial life in one weekend. You just have to pay attention. Reflect. Adjust. Keep going.

And if you need a little help on your journey? That’s where I come in. No judgment. Just direction. Think of me like your financial GPS – recalculating when needed, but always helping you get back on the road.

The High Cost of Hiding

There’s a quiet ache that comes from living out of alignment with who you really are. It’s subtle, like a tag in the back of your shirt that you almost forget is there until it starts to itch. And in your finances, that itch can turn into full-blown discomfort.

We often think of authenticity as something reserved for journaling retreats, identity crises, or the kind of self-help books you buy with good intentions and never finish. But authenticity can also be deeply financial. It’s not just about how you feel it’s about how you spend, save, and stress.

Because if we’re honest, a lot of people are budgeting for a life they don’t even like.

Think about it. How many purchases have you made for the version of you that only exists in your imagination? The one who always looks put together, never repeats outfits, and somehow has a fridge full of green juices that don’t expire? That version of you is expensive. And slightly exhausting.

We’re not just buying things—we’re buying belonging. A curated lifestyle. A story we hope people believe. The upgraded car. The “dream” apartment with more square footage than friends to invite over. The business wardrobe for a job that mostly happens over Zoom.

This isn’t judgment, it’s a gentle nudge. What’s the honest answer if we ask ourselves how many of our financial choices are less about needs and more about narratives? We spend to feel enough. We say yes to things we don’t want to attend. We avoid our bank account like it’s judging us. (It’s not. But the notification that says “Your balance is low” does feel oddly personal.)

The more out of alignment we are with our real selves, the more chaotic our money becomes. Being real with ourselves clears the fog. It’s like finally putting on your glasses and realizing that plant you’ve been watering for three months is fake. Clarity can be funny that way.

When you start aligning your spending with your actual values—not the values your friends or social media feed told you to have—things change. You stop buying out of guilt or comparison. You stop chasing trends that don’t match your life. You give yourself permission to be weirdly specific in your budget, like prioritizing concert tickets over cable or saving for a tiny house instead of a mortgage in the suburbs.

Authenticity also means accepting the truth, especially the uncomfortable kind. Like admitting that you’re still paying off a trip that didn’t even go that well. Or that you have no idea how investing works, and your current strategy is “gut feelings and Google searches.”

In business, authenticity can be just as freeing. Stop trying to sell like someone else. Your clients don’t need a guru, they need a guide who knows who they are and isn’t afraid to sound like themselves. If you’re quirky, be quirky. If you’re straightforward, don’t fake the fluff. People can smell performance, and they usually don’t like it…unless it’s on Broadway.

Living and spending authentically doesn’t mean you never treat yourself or go after big dreams. It just means you do it with a sense of peace instead of pressure. It means your budget starts feeling like a mirror instead of a mask.

So, if you’re feeling stuck financially, maybe the next step isn’t another app or spreadsheet. Maybe it’s asking yourself: Am I spending money to be myself or to escape myself? Because the best financial plan starts with telling the truth. To ourselves. And maybe making peace with the fact that your “dream life” might actually involve fewer brunches and more naps.

Quick Fixes Won’t Fix You

It’s easy to get drawn in by the idea that one simple trick can turn your finances around. Maybe it’s a new budgeting app, a viral savings challenge, or the perfectly timed ad for a loan consolidation or low-interest credit card. It feels like if you just find the right fix, everything will click into place. But the idea that one quick move can solve years of habits, patterns, and beliefs about money is misleading.

There’s a seductive quality to shortcuts. When you’re financially stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, your brain craves relief. It offers a moment of calm in the chaos, even if it’s temporary. But financial transformation is never just about the numbers It’s about who you’re becoming through the process. And real transformation isn’t fast. It’s often uncomfortable. It’s deeply personal.

Quick fixes are surface-level solutions. They focus on what you do like cutting expenses, downloading a tool, following a plan, without addressing why you spend the way you do or what you’re trying to feel when you swipe your card. You can set up automatic transfers to savings, but if you still feel like you never have enough, that money might not stay there for long. You can follow a budget, but if it feels restrictive or disconnected from your real life, you’ll eventually abandon it.

Then life happens. A tire blows. A friend invites you on a spontaneous weekend trip. Your old habits sneak back in, disguised as self-care or “you only live once” indulgences. The app gathers digital dust. The quick fix fades, and you’re back where you started, sometimes even more discouraged than before.

Why? Because quick fixes address symptoms, not core issues. They aim to change behaviors without addressing the beliefs that drive them. You can automate savings, but if you still believe you’re “bad with money,” that savings account will stay empty. You can follow a debt payoff plan, but if you haven’t built the discipline to say no to impulsive spending, the cycle will repeat. There is no app or spreadsheet that can replace the inner work of developing financial resilience.

This kind of change isn’t as exciting as a new app or a bold financial goal. Real change looks less like a sudden leap and more like a slow, intentional climb. It’s committing to tracking your spending even when it’s boring. It’s revisiting your goals regularly, not just when you’re inspired. It’s learning how to sit with discomfort instead of numbing it with a shopping spree. It’s asking yourself hard questions: What do I believe about money? Who taught me that? Does it serve me? What am I avoiding by chasing the next quick fix?

If you’re stuck in a cycle of hoping the next idea will be the one, take a step back. Ask yourself what you’re avoiding. Are you looking for a fix, or are you ready for real change? You don’t need a miracle. You need a plan that fits your life, habits that support your values, and the patience to let progress build.

Quick fixes might feel good in the moment. But they won’t build the kind of financial life you actually want. Real change is slower, steadier—and far more rewarding.

So the next time you’re tempted by a financial fix that promises overnight success, pause. Ask yourself if it’s addressing your foundation or just patching a crack. You’re not broken. You’re just evolving. And evolution takes time, intention, and a willingness to go deeper than the surface. Quick fixes won’t fix you. But showing up for yourself every day, even in small, imperfect ways just might.