values

The Great Generational Money Feud: Who Really Had It Easier?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s get controversial. Arguments about money between generations have become intense. Online, Boomers might say, “If you’d stop buying $7 lattes, you could afford a house!” while Millennials or Gen Z reply, “Yeah, when homes didn’t cost 14 times your salary!”

It’s easy to roll your eyes at either side. But, like most arguments, the truth isn’t black and white; it’s somewhere in the middle.

The Older Generation’s Side: “We Worked for It.”

The older generation loves to remind everyone that they worked hard for what they have, and they’re not wrong. Many of them came up during a time when you landed a job and stayed there for 30 years, maybe even retired with a pension.

They dealt with sky-high interest rates, sometimes as high as 15% or more in the late ’70s and ’80s. So yes, homes were cheaper, but financing them was a whole different kind of painful. A single percentage point (or even a quarter of one) can mean hundreds of dollars a month, and they felt that sting.

They didn’t have credit cards on every corner or “buy now, pay later” buttons tempting them daily. Vacations (if they took them) were road trips, dinners out were rare, and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant mowing your yard, not competing with Instagram influencers.

So when they look at today’s spending habits, subscription services, daily coffee runs, and designer side hustles, they see indulgence, not inflation.

And from their view, they’re right. They learned to live on less because they had to.

The Younger Generation’s Side: “You Don’t Get It.”

But the younger generation isn’t imagining things either; the math really is different now.

Yes, Boomers had higher interest rates, but they were also borrowing a lot less. A $60,000 house at 12% is a whole different beast than a $400,000 home at 7%. And that’s if you can even get approved for a mortgage with today’s debt-to-income ratios.

Millennials and Gen Z aren’t just battling home prices. They’re buried under student loans, rising healthcare costs, childcare that costs more than rent, and stagnant wages that haven’t kept up with inflation. Many of them are working two jobs or side hustles just to break even.

And while many Boomers had company pensions and affordable healthcare through their employers, younger workers are often piecing together gig income, freelance work, and 401(k)s that depend entirely on their own contributions.

Add in things like skyrocketing rent, insurance premiums, and the constant cost of staying “connected”, internet, cell phone, streaming, and apps, and it’s no wonder so many feel like they’re sprinting just to stay in place.

The Truth in the Middle

Here’s where both sides are right and wrong.

The older generation worked hard and faced real financial challenges, but they also lived in an economy that rewarded stability and consistency. The younger generation is facing costs that didn’t exist back then, but they also live in a time with more access to information, flexibility, and opportunity than ever before.

Boomers had to sacrifice convenience; Millennials and Gen Z have to sacrifice comfort. Both are valid forms of struggle.

The truth is, both generations want the same thing: financial freedom, peace of mind, and the ability to enjoy life without worrying about the next bill. They just had to play the game under completely different rules.

What We Can Learn From Each Other

Maybe the older generation could acknowledge that times really have changed and the math doesn’t add up the same way it used to.
And maybe the younger generation could recognize that some of the financial frustration isn’t just systemic, it’s also behavioral.

Discipline, patience, and delayed gratification still matter. But so does adaptability, creativity, and learning to navigate a world that moves faster than ever.

If we stopped arguing over who had it worse and started learning from each other, we might actually meet in the middle: old-school sacrifice with modern strategy.

Because financial success isn’t just about the decade you were born in, it’s about how you manage the one you’re living in.

The Addiction No One Talks About

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I saw this quote recently, and I swear it leapt off the screen and side-eyed me:
“If you don’t think you’re addicted to something, try fasting from it.”

Well… that felt a little personal.

Because my first thought was, Oh, I could give up anything if I had to.
And then I imagined going a week without coffee, Amazon, or that little thrill I get when I see “Your order has shipped.”
Suddenly, I realized, yeah, maybe I am a little addicted.

Financial Fasting Hits Different

Now, before you think I’m suggesting a wilderness fast with no water and locusts, calm down. I’m talking about a financial fast; no unnecessary spending for a set time.

No takeout. No “just one quick Target run.” No late-night scrolling on Etsy, convincing yourself you need another candle that smells like “Peaceful Rainforest Serenity.”

If you want to know what’s got a grip on you, try saying no to it for seven days.
The first day, you’ll feel strong. Day two, you’ll justify everything. By day three, you’ll be eyeing your debit card like it’s the last donut in the box.

The moment you tell yourself no, you start to see what’s really driving the yes. But that’s where the learning happens.

What God Showed Me

When I went through my divorce, I didn’t just lose a marriage; I lost my sense of safety. And without realizing it, I tried to buy that feeling back. New clothes, dinners out, little treats “to cheer myself up.”

And I remember God nudging me one day: “You’re trying to fill an emotional hole with financial band-aids.”

Ouch again.

Because He was right. What I really needed was peace. Not another Amazon box on my porch.

Money wasn’t my problem. My need for comfort was.
And only God could really meet that need.

The Real Addiction

It’s not always the spending we’re hooked on.
It’s the feeling it gives us. The comfort, control, or distraction.
And when those feelings fade, we’re right back where we started, wallet lighter and heart still hungry.

That’s why fasting, financial or otherwise, can be such a powerful reset. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about revelation.

When we stop feeding the habit, we start hearing from God in the quiet.
And He has this funny way of showing us what we’ve been running from… and what we actually need.

Let’s Dig a Little Deeper

Here’s where the life coach in me steps in:
If you find yourself overspending, ask what need you’re really trying to meet.

Are you buying to feel seen?
To escape stress?
To reward yourself because no one else is clapping for your effort?
Or maybe, you’re trying to create a sense of control in a life that feels unpredictable.

When you can name the feeling behind the behavior, you start to break the pattern.
And when you bring that awareness to God, He can actually heal the part of you that’s reaching for something temporary to soothe something deeper.

Try It

Pick one thing to fast from financially. It might be DoorDash, Amazon, Starbucks, or online browsing when you’re bored.

Every time the urge hits, stop and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What am I hoping this purchase will fix?
  • Is there another way I can meet that need, spiritually, emotionally, or practically?

Then invite God into that space.
Pray. Take a walk. Journal. Call a friend.
You’ll start to see what’s been running your money (and maybe your peace) without your permission.

Sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough money.
It’s that we’re spending to fill a void only God and a little self-honesty can heal.

And when you fast from what controls you, you finally make room for what frees you.

And hey, if you make it all seven days without an Amazon relapse, reward yourself with… well, prayer. Or maybe a walk. But not another candle, okay? (And no—adding just one thing to your Amazon cart “for later” doesn’t count as fasting. Nice try.)

From Piggy Banks to Paychecks: Why Kids Need Money Lessons Early

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I still remember the first time my daughter asked me for money. She was maybe four years old, holding a crumpled dollar in her little hand like it was gold. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and said, “Mommy, can I buy all the candy?”

That was my wake-up call.

Teaching kids about money is a lot like teaching them to ride a bike. You don’t just shove them on a two-wheeler, give a little push, and pray they figure it out before crashing into the mailbox. No, you start with training wheels. You run alongside them. You let them wobble, tip, and scrape a knee or two while you cheer them on.

Money works the same way.

Kids don’t come with a built-in money manual. They come with big dreams, sticky fingers, and an uncanny ability to find the toy aisle like it’s the Promised Land. But if we don’t start teaching them about money when they’re small, they’ll grow up learning about it the hard way, usually from the school of overdraft fees and credit card debt.

Money is one of those topics we sometimes whisper about, like it’s too big or too grown-up for kids to understand. But we need to remember, they’re watching us. They notice when we swipe a card at Target like it’s magic. They notice when we sigh at the kitchen table with the stack of bills. They notice when we drop a $20 in the offering plate on Sunday. They’re learning whether we say anything or not. Just like little seedlings, they soak it all in, even if they don’t have words for it yet.

And that’s why it matters to start early.

Give them chances to handle money. Instead of waiting until they’re teenagers and suddenly expect them to “get it,” why not start now? Give them little bits of responsibility early. A dollar to put in the offering plate. A piggy bank where they can watch their coins grow. Let them save for something they want instead of handing it to them right away. That’s watering the seed.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Yvonne, my kids can’t even keep their shoes on the right feet, and you want me to trust them with money?” Yep. Because learning about money when the stakes are small is exactly the point. Better they “waste” $5 on slime or Pokémon cards now than $500 on a credit card bill later.

God says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” That doesn’t just mean teaching them to say “please” and “thank you.” It means showing them how to live wisely including how to use money in a way that honors Him.

When we start early, those lessons take root.

And if they mess it up? Well, isn’t that the safest time for them to learn while the “budget crisis” is just about a lost dollar and not about not being able to pay rent?

So, start the conversation. Make it fun. Let them make a few mistakes while the stakes are low. Teach them about giving, saving, and spending in that order. You’ll be planting seeds that will grow into wisdom later and maybe, just maybe, you’ll save yourself from being the family ATM when they’re 25.

Because at the end of the day, money isn’t just about numbers. It’s about values, choices, and trusting God with what we’ve been given. And those are lessons worth teaching as soon as their little hands can hold a dollar bill.

The Middle

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

There’s a stretch of life that feels like a pressure cooker. You’re not just building your own future, you’re supporting everyone else’s too. The kids still need you. The parents now do, too. And somehow, you’re expected to keep the lights on, stay sane, and have a retirement plan in place.

Welcome to the middle.

This stage, often called the “sandwich generation”,  is where so many people find themselves emotionally stretched and financially scrambled. You’re the go-to person for school pickups, sports fees, emergency dental appointments, and also the one researching Medicare plans, managing doctor visits, and making sure your parents don’t fall for the latest scam call.

It’s a season of deep love, real responsibility, and if we’re being honest…a little chaos.

The Unspoken Toll

Let’s talk numbers for a second. It’s not just the emotional labor. It’s the money.

You might be covering part of your parents’ prescriptions, helping with their rent, or paying for in-home care. At the same time, your teenager just announced they want to tour colleges, each one with a tuition price tag that could fund a luxury car.

Add in your own rising property tax, food costs that feel like a prank, and the guilt of not saving enough for your own retirement, and yeah, it’s a lot.

And here’s the kicker: Most people in this spot don’t talk about it. They just quietly stretch their budgets, skip vacations, and push their own goals to the back burner.

The Myth of “Having It All Together”

There’s this subtle pressure to pretend you’re managing just fine. But behind closed doors, the budget spreadsheet isn’t adding up. You’ve dipped into savings. You’re making minimum payments. And sometimes, you wonder how long you can keep this up.

If this is you, let me say this clearly: “If it feels like you’re sinking, maybe it’s because you’ve taken on a load too heavy to carry alone.

What You Can Do (Even If It’s Not Perfect)

You may not be able to fix everything overnight, but there are a few things that can make this season more manageable:

  • Get brutally honest about your numbers. It’s tempting to avoid the hard look at the bank account. But clarity is a kindness to your future self.
  • Prioritize ruthlessly. You can’t give everyone everything. Choose what really matters right now; maybe it’s college savings over a new car, or saying no to a costly family event you can’t swing this year.
  • Ask for help. From your siblings, from your partner, from a financial coach. You don’t have to do this alone.
  • Talk to your kids and your parents. When transparency is shared with love and care, it builds trust, and sometimes it even sparks unexpected solutions, like scholarships or shared caregiving that come out of family brainstorming sessions.
  • Give yourself grace. This isn’t a season of perfect plans. It’s a season of surviving with heart.

This Is Temporary

It doesn’t always feel like it, but this season will change. Your parents won’t need the same level of care forever. Your kids won’t live at home forever (even if it really seems like they might). And eventually, you’ll come up for air.

But while you’re in the middle, remember this: You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing what strong, loving, resilient people have always done—figuring it out, one hard decision at a time.

And that, my friend, is something to be proud of.

Show Me Your Bank Statement and I’ll Show You What You Value

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s start with a question: When you think about being “good with money,” what pops into your head?

Saving more? Investing earlier? Maybe finally sticking to that not-yet-used budget that’s been silently judging you since January?

That’s all useful. But managing your money well isn’t just about math. It’s about meaning. If you’ve ever hit a financial goal and still felt a little… empty? Yeah, that’s your values trying to break through the noise.

Because if your money and your values aren’t on the same page, no amount of budgeting or earning will bring you real peace. Because the peace you’re looking for isn’t in your bank account.

Picture this: someone says they value peace and simplicity. But every weekend, they’re online shopping to cope with stress, signing up for side hustles they hate, and saying yes to every offer that comes with a paycheck no matter how soul-draining, all to pay for the shopping to “cope with the stress”.

That’s not peace. That’s burnout with a direct deposit.

We confuse “wants” with “values” all the time. Wanting something isn’t bad, it’s normal. But buying every want is like trying to build a stable life out of marshmallows. Fun for a minute. Messy later.

When you spend based on your values, your money decisions stop feeling like sacrifices and start feeling like freedom. You’re not depriving yourself. You’re choosing peace over pressure. Long-term joy over short-term dopamine.

But what are values, really?

Let’s pause. Because some people hear the word “values” and immediately think of something vague or preachy.

But values are just what matters most to you.

Not to your mom. Not to your best friend. Not to the influencer who “just can’t live without” her $40 matcha serum.

You might value creativity. Or rest. Or adventure. Or family. Or building a legacy. You don’t have to get it perfect, but you do have to get honest with yourself. Most of us don’t even stop to ask. We just chase the next thing because everyone else is doing it.

But clarity is powerful. When you really know what your values are, decision-making gets a lot easier. You stop asking, “Can I afford this?” and start asking, “Does this fit who I want to be or the life I want to live?”

Okay, you’re sold on the idea. Now what?

Here’s a simple (but not easy) process:

  1. Slow down and listen. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel grounded? Write it down. Pay attention to when you feel content, not just excited.
  2. Notice your spending. Pull up your transactions from the last 30 days. What did you buy that actually felt worth it? What left you feeling “meh”? Your bank account is already telling your story. Read it. It’s like the saying goes, show me your bank statement and I’ll show you what you value.
  3. Ask the value question. Before you buy, ask: “Is this aligned with my values or just a passing want?” Even better, try, “Would future me thank me for this?”
  4. Plan with your values in mind. Make room in your budget for what matters most, even if that means spending more on it and less elsewhere. If community matters, maybe you host more dinners instead of buying more clothes. If freedom matters, maybe you say no to the second job and work on living within your means. (Ouch, I know that one stung)

Success feels different when it’s aligned.

Aligning your money with your values doesn’t always mean you’ll spend less. But it does mean you’ll spend smarter. With intention. With integrity. With the “I actually like how I’m living” kind of satisfaction.

And weirdly, that kind of peace attracts more success. Because you’re no longer wasting energy chasing stuff that doesn’t even matter to you. You get focused. You make decisions faster. You stop comparing your life to people who aren’t even aiming for what you want.

Most of us are trying to build a life that looks good on paper. But what if you built one that felt good instead?

More money won’t always fix your life. But money aligned with your values? That’s the good stuff. That’s where peace and success stop competing and start walking hand-in-hand.

So take your time. Learn what matters to you. Then let your money follow.

That’s the real flex.