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Are You Throwing the Big Fish Back?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

You’ve probably heard the story about a man fishing by the river. He was catching more fish than anyone else, so people started gathering to see what he was doing differently. But when they watched closely, they got confused. Every time he caught a fish, he pulled out a tape measure. If the fish was smaller than eight inches, he kept it. If it was bigger, he tossed it back into the water.

Someone finally asked him, “Why in the world are you throwing back the big ones?”
The man replied, “Because my frying pan is only eight inches wide.”

Now, most of us would laugh at that, right? But a lot of us are doing the exact same thing with our finances.

We pray for financial blessings. We talk about wanting to save more, earn more, or get out of debt. Yet when opportunity knocks, we throw it right back because it doesn’t fit the size of our current “frying pan.”

Maybe you’ve said things like:

  • “I could never make that much money.”
  • “I’ll always be bad with budgeting.”
  • “People like me don’t get ahead financially.”
  • “I don’t deserve more.”

That’s not reality. That’s our own limiting belief.

You might be asking God to bless your finances, but He’s waiting for you to expand your capacity to receive it. It reminds me of Matthew 25:29, where Jesus says:

“For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

That verse isn’t saying God plays favorites; it’s about stewardship. When we handle what we have well, more comes. But when we let fear or disbelief call the shots, we end up tossing big opportunities back because they don’t fit our comfort zone.

And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not even about lack of opportunity — it’s about our habits. You can’t pray for financial peace and then let Amazon talk you into buying a 3 a.m. “emergency candle holder” because it was on sale.

If that stings a little, I get it. I’ve been there too. We’ve all made financial decisions that made us shake our heads later. But awareness is the first step.

Ask yourself:

  • What’s really keeping me from saving more or paying off debt?
  • When did I start believing I wasn’t “good with money”?
  • Who told me I couldn’t have more?

Those thoughts didn’t appear out of nowhere. They came from experiences, family patterns, and sometimes fear. But Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That includes how you think about money.

When you change your beliefs, your behavior follows. Replace “I’ll never get ahead” with “I’m learning how to build stability.” Replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I plan for it?”

The truth is, God can bless you with bigger fish, but you’ve got to be ready to receive them.

So maybe it’s time to stop throwing back the blessings because they don’t fit your current situation. Stretch your faith, adjust your mindset, and grab yourself a bigger frying pan.

Because when you do, you’ll realize the abundance you’ve been praying for has been swimming right in front of you the whole time.

The Hidden Lesson Behind Those Gifts on the Porch

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I remember being a little kid, maybe five or six, coming home one cold winter night with my sister and parents to our tiny house heated by a coal burning stove. It was around Christmas, and we’d been gone all day. When we got back, there were gifts sitting on the back doorstep, one for every single person in the family.

And in my little kid brain, I thought, Wow, Santa really outdid himself this year! I remember feeling so happy, so excited. It felt magical.

What I didn’t understand then, and what hit me a lot later, was that those gifts weren’t from Santa. They were from people in town who knew we didn’t have much that year. People who quietly showed up to make sure we still had a Christmas.

And I’ll be honest, when I figured that out as an adult, it hit hard. Because that’s when I realized… we were probably the poorest family in town.

Now, as a kid, you don’t think much about money. You just know what you have and what you don’t. But growing up with that kind of experience, it stuck with me. It planted this belief deep down that not having money meant something about me. That if I wasn’t doing well financially, I was somehow “less than.”

And for a long time, I carried that into adulthood.

If I wasn’t making enough money, I felt embarrassed. If someone asked how much I made or what I did for work, I’d tense up a little. Even when I started doing okay, there was still this fear in the back of my mind that it could all disappear, that I might end up back on that porch, being the family that needed someone else to show up for them.

That kind of shame can run deep. It shows up in the way you spend, the way you save, even in the way you talk about money. You might feel guilty for having it, or guilty for not having enough of it. And the truth is, neither one feels good.

It took me years to unlearn that. To realize that my worth has nothing to do with my income. That money isn’t good or bad. It’s just a tool. And when you know how to use it, it can give you options, peace, and the freedom to help others the way someone once helped my family.

That night, those mystery gifts on the doorstep, they taught me a lot more than I realized at the time. They taught me about kindness, about quiet generosity, and about what it feels like to be on the receiving end of grace.

Now, when I think about money, I think about that balance between giving and receiving, between being smart with what you have and being grateful for what you’ve been given.

And I think maybe that’s something we all need to remember. You can grow up poor, make mistakes, feel shame, and still learn how to create a healthy relationship with money.

We need to learn being broke isn’t permanent. But the lessons it teaches you about resilience, about gratitude, about empathy – those can change your life forever.

If you’d like some tips and tricks on dealing with holiday spending or personal finance all year round, follow me on any social media platform.

https://www.instagram.com/tulinc_coaching/

https://www.facebook.com/TuLincU/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/yvonneclark/

TikTok @tulinc_coaching

(YouTube channel coming soon)

And if you’d like to schedule a free call with me, go here– https://tulincu.com/

The Great Generational Money Feud: Who Really Had It Easier?

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Let’s get controversial. Arguments about money between generations have become intense. Online, Boomers might say, “If you’d stop buying $7 lattes, you could afford a house!” while Millennials or Gen Z reply, “Yeah, when homes didn’t cost 14 times your salary!”

It’s easy to roll your eyes at either side. But, like most arguments, the truth isn’t black and white; it’s somewhere in the middle.

The Older Generation’s Side: “We Worked for It.”

The older generation loves to remind everyone that they worked hard for what they have, and they’re not wrong. Many of them came up during a time when you landed a job and stayed there for 30 years, maybe even retired with a pension.

They dealt with sky-high interest rates, sometimes as high as 15% or more in the late ’70s and ’80s. So yes, homes were cheaper, but financing them was a whole different kind of painful. A single percentage point (or even a quarter of one) can mean hundreds of dollars a month, and they felt that sting.

They didn’t have credit cards on every corner or “buy now, pay later” buttons tempting them daily. Vacations (if they took them) were road trips, dinners out were rare, and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant mowing your yard, not competing with Instagram influencers.

So when they look at today’s spending habits, subscription services, daily coffee runs, and designer side hustles, they see indulgence, not inflation.

And from their view, they’re right. They learned to live on less because they had to.

The Younger Generation’s Side: “You Don’t Get It.”

But the younger generation isn’t imagining things either; the math really is different now.

Yes, Boomers had higher interest rates, but they were also borrowing a lot less. A $60,000 house at 12% is a whole different beast than a $400,000 home at 7%. And that’s if you can even get approved for a mortgage with today’s debt-to-income ratios.

Millennials and Gen Z aren’t just battling home prices. They’re buried under student loans, rising healthcare costs, childcare that costs more than rent, and stagnant wages that haven’t kept up with inflation. Many of them are working two jobs or side hustles just to break even.

And while many Boomers had company pensions and affordable healthcare through their employers, younger workers are often piecing together gig income, freelance work, and 401(k)s that depend entirely on their own contributions.

Add in things like skyrocketing rent, insurance premiums, and the constant cost of staying “connected”, internet, cell phone, streaming, and apps, and it’s no wonder so many feel like they’re sprinting just to stay in place.

The Truth in the Middle

Here’s where both sides are right and wrong.

The older generation worked hard and faced real financial challenges, but they also lived in an economy that rewarded stability and consistency. The younger generation is facing costs that didn’t exist back then, but they also live in a time with more access to information, flexibility, and opportunity than ever before.

Boomers had to sacrifice convenience; Millennials and Gen Z have to sacrifice comfort. Both are valid forms of struggle.

The truth is, both generations want the same thing: financial freedom, peace of mind, and the ability to enjoy life without worrying about the next bill. They just had to play the game under completely different rules.

What We Can Learn From Each Other

Maybe the older generation could acknowledge that times really have changed and the math doesn’t add up the same way it used to.
And maybe the younger generation could recognize that some of the financial frustration isn’t just systemic, it’s also behavioral.

Discipline, patience, and delayed gratification still matter. But so does adaptability, creativity, and learning to navigate a world that moves faster than ever.

If we stopped arguing over who had it worse and started learning from each other, we might actually meet in the middle: old-school sacrifice with modern strategy.

Because financial success isn’t just about the decade you were born in, it’s about how you manage the one you’re living in.

You Know What to Do. So Why Aren’t You Doing It?

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Let’s cut straight to it.
You probably already know how to fix your money problems.

You’ve read the blogs. You’ve watched the videos.
You know how to budget, how to save, and what not to buy on impulse.
So if knowledge was the answer, you’d already be good.

But you’re not stuck because you don’t know. You’re stuck because you don’t trust yourself to follow through.

And that’s a different kind of problem.

It’s not about the numbers. It’s about the stories.

Every money habit you have; the overspending, the procrastination, the avoidance, is connected to a story you’ve told yourself for years.
Maybe it’s:
“I’ve never been good with money.”
“I’ll never have enough.”
“I’ll start once I make more.”

And every time you act in a way that fits that story, it reinforces it.
Not because you want to stay stuck, but because it feels familiar.

Familiar feels safe, even when it’s expensive.

So you keep living on autopilot, repeating the same behaviors you swore you’d stop doing… because doing something different requires a new identity, not just new information.

Let’s get real for a second.

You don’t need another budget app.
You don’t need a color-coded spreadsheet.
You don’t even need another “money challenge.”

What you do need is a better understanding of why you don’t believe yourself when you say you’ll change.

Because if you’ve broken a promise to yourself enough times, you stop trusting your own word.
And without trust, motivation doesn’t matter.

So what can you actually do?

Let’s shake things up a little. Not with more rules, but with real moves.

1. Stop setting “perfect world” goals.
You don’t live in a perfect world. Stop making plans for one.
If your budget only works when nothing goes wrong, it’s not realistic, it’s fantasy. Build in real life. Build in the unexpected. Build in grace.

2. Change your environment before you change your behavior.
If your phone is full of shopping apps, delete them.
If you always overspend with certain friends, start suggesting hangouts that don’t cost money.
You can’t keep your same habits and expect your money to behave differently.

3. Make your progress visible.
We love seeing “wins,” but most financial change happens quietly like paying $200 more than the minimum payment regularly, saying no to dinner out, skipping the sale. Track it somewhere you can see it. Progress you can see becomes progress you protect.

4. Create small discomfort on purpose.
Change never happens in your comfort zone. Set up small challenges that stretch you; a no-spend weekend, a savings goal that feels slightly out of reach, a conversation with someone about debt that you’ve been avoiding.
You don’t need chaos. You need tension that teaches you self-control.

5. Ask better questions.
Instead of “Why can’t I stick to this?” ask, “What do I gain by not changing?”
Because if you’re holding onto a habit, even a bad one, it’s doing something for you; giving you comfort, control, or distraction. When you find that reason, you can finally replace it with something healthier.

Here’s the truth no one likes to hear:
Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t have a plan.
They stay stuck because they’re addicted to the version of themselves that’s used to struggling.

Change costs identity.
And until you’re willing to let go of who you’ve been with money, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns, just with better excuses.

So maybe the question isn’t “Why am I not doing what I know I should do?”
Maybe it’s “What part of me is afraid of what happens if I actually do it?”

Because sometimes it’s not fear of failure holding you back — it’s fear of finally succeeding.

When Money Decisions Feel Like a Game of Whack-a-Mole

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Ever feel like every time you handle one money issue, three more pop up like a bad round of Whack-a-Mole? You finally pay off one credit card, and boom; the car needs tires, your kid’s field trip fee is due, and someone forgot about that “automatic renewal” you swore you canceled last year.

It’s exhausting.

And if you’ve ever stood in the grocery aisle staring at forty-seven kinds of peanut butter, wondering if “organic,” “crunchy,” or the one with the yellow lid is the “right” choice, you know the feeling. Now multiply that by a mortgage, retirement plans, student loans, and maybe a business decision or two. That’s financial decision paralysis.

We live in a time that’s overflowing with options; apps that track your spending, influencers promising overnight wealth, and “exclusive” credit card offers that show up like uninvited party guests. It’s no wonder people freeze. We’re not just afraid of picking wrong. We’re afraid of failing, of wasting money, of being judged.

And so, we do nothing.
The problem with that is that doing nothing is a decision. And often, it’s the most expensive one.

Why We Freeze Up

It’s not really about money. It’s about fear.
Fear of making the wrong move. Fear of regret. Fear that one bad choice will mess everything up.

We’ve been taught to chase the perfect plan, have the perfect budget, the perfect investment, the perfect system when we all know there’s no such thing. Personal finance isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal.

God never asked us to be perfect planners. He asked us to be faithful stewards. That means doing the best we can with what we have and trusting Him with the rest. He’s not grading us on flawless execution. He’s looking for obedience, wisdom, and a little faith in the middle of the mess.

The Cost of Doing Nothing

Avoiding financial decisions feels safe in the moment, but it’s like putting your money in time-out and hoping it grows while it’s sitting there. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

When you avoid rolling over that old 401(k) or skip setting up a spending plan because it’s overwhelming, that’s progress on pause. And that pause has a price.

Then there’s the stress. That constant mental weight of “I should probably deal with that…” Stress steals your sleep, your joy, and your peace. But remember, God never meant for you to carry all that alone. He said, “Cast your cares on Me,” not “juggle them until you drop.”

How to Break Free from the Freeze

So how do you stop spinning in circles and start moving forward?

  1. Shrink the decision.
    Stop asking, “What’s the perfect plan for retirement?” and start asking, “Can I move 2% more into savings this month?” Small moves create big momentum.
  2. Set boundaries.
    You don’t need every podcast, influencer, and newsletter in your head. Mute the noise. Choose trusted sources, and protect your peace.
  3. Pray before you pay.
    God may not drop your investment strategy into your DMs, but prayer slows the panic. It shifts your heart from fear to faith.
  4. Pick something.
    Almost any forward step beats standing still. Even if you have to adjust later, you’re learning and growing.
  5. Ask for help.
    God wired us for community. Sometimes the breakthrough comes after talking it out with someone who’s not tangled up in your emotions; a friend, a mentor, or yes… a coach.

If you’ve been stuck in that place of financial overwhelm, just pause and breathe for a second. You’re human and you’ve had a lot on your plate.

God’s not looking at your credit score; He’s looking at your heart. He’s not waiting for you to have it all figured out. He’s just waiting for you to take one faithful step forward.

So pick one thing. Just one. Maybe it’s setting up automatic savings. Maybe it’s finally opening that envelope that’s been sitting on your counter giving you the side-eye. Or maybe it’s reaching out for a little guidance and support.

Progress doesn’t come from having all the answers today. It comes from small steps, a little faith, and a good sense of humor when life gets messy.

And listen… if you still can’t decide between crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Buy both. God gives us room for a little grace — and a little variety.

When Seasons Change Along With Your Marriage

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Pumpkin spice isn’t the only thing showing up in early fall. Believe it or not, divorce filings also spike this time of year. Yep, just when you thought the biggest expense you’d face in September was back-to-school shopping, the reality is a lot of couples are sitting down with lawyers instead of PTO calendars.

But why fall? Well, think about it. Couples often try to hold it together through the summer for maybe one last family vacation, one more “let’s see if this works” effort while the kids are out of school. And then, when August heat turns into September routines, many people decide it’s time for a fresh start before the holiday season rolls around.

Here’s the tough part: divorce isn’t just emotionally draining, it’s financially draining, too. Money is already one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and splitting households doesn’t exactly make things easier. If you’re not careful, you can end up with just as much financial heartbreak as marital heartbreak.

So let’s talk about how divorce impacts your money and what you can do to lessen the blow:

1. Two Houses, One Income (or Less)

You go from sharing expenses to doubling them. Mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance—suddenly you’re covering it solo. If you haven’t already, it’s time to put together a realistic budget for your household, not the one that used to be.

2. The “Stuff” Split

Dividing assets sounds fair on paper, but things get tricky fast. Retirement accounts, investments, even furniture, those things don’t just divide cleanly. Before agreeing to anything, understand the tax and long-term implications. A $50,000 retirement account isn’t the same as $50,000 in cash.

3. Debt Doesn’t Magically Disappear

Credit card bills, car loans, and even that home equity line; divorce doesn’t erase them. Be proactive about how debt is divided and whose name it stays under. Otherwise, your credit could take a hit for someone else’s spending.

4. Kids and Cash

If children are involved, child support and possibly alimony come into play. Don’t just think short-term; factor these payments (or the lack of them) into your long-term financial plan.

What You Can Do to Lessen the Impact

  • Get clear on your numbers. Write down your income, expenses, debts, and assets. Knowledge is power.
  • Work with professionals. A lawyer handles the legal side, but a financial coach helps you look at the big picture—budgeting, saving, retirement, even rebuilding your money mindset.
  • Adjust your lifestyle quickly. It’s tempting to keep living like you did as a couple, but the sooner you shift, the stronger you’ll feel financially.
  • Guard your heart and your wallet. Emotional decisions lead to expensive mistakes whether that’s fighting over the couch or giving up assets just to “get it over with.”

And let’s not forget the spiritual side matters, too. God isn’t surprised by your situation, and He isn’t leaving you to figure it out alone. In Proverbs 24:3 it says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” Even if your marriage is ending, you can rebuild your financial house with wisdom and understanding.

Divorce is tough, but God still has a plan and thankfully, so can your budget (even if it involves more coffee and less Netflix)

The Bottom Line

Fall may be “divorce season,” but it doesn’t have to be financial disaster season. With the right plan, the right mindset, and a little faith, you can come out stronger both emotionally and financially. And when you’re ready, I’m here to walk you through the money side of things so you can focus on building a new, solid foundation.

When Peace Feels Wrong and Stability Feels Boring

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Let’s talk about something uncomfortable.

Not credit scores.
Not retirement accounts.
Not budgeting.

Let’s talk about the part of you that might be addicted to chaos.

I know, I know! The word addicted feels dramatic all on its own. But hang with me.

You might not be chasing drama on purpose. You’re not starting fights or stirring up messes. But if you’re constantly dealing with emergencies, living paycheck to paycheck (even when you make decent money), or finding yourself stuck in the same stressful financial patterns, there might be something deeper going on.

And it’s not just about dollars. It’s about what your nervous system has learned to expect.

Trauma and Drama: The Financial Loop

If you grew up in a home where money was always tight, unpredictable, or used as a weapon, your body may have learned to live in crisis mode.

And now, as an adult, crisis feels… normal. Familiar. Even safe.

So when things are calm, when your bills are paid, when your savings account is growing, you may unconsciously self-sabotage.

You buy something you don’t need.
You stop checking your bank account.
You help someone out financially (again) even though you don’t actually have the margin.

And boom, chaos is back. Crisis mode returns. And your nervous system can breathe a twisted sigh of relief: Ahhh, yes, back where we belong.

That’s what addiction looks like. Not because you’re weak, but because your body is just trying to survive in the only way it knows how.

Financial Drama Is a Distraction

Here’s the hard truth: staying stuck in trauma and drama keeps you from having to do the slow, sometimes boring work of building a stable life.

Creating a budget, sticking to it, setting long-term goals, saying no when it’s easier to say yes, these things don’t always feel exciting. They don’t give you that adrenaline rush that a financial emergency does.

But they do give you peace. And purpose. And the kind of freedom that doesn’t come from a tax refund or a side hustle. It comes from consistency.

God Didn’t Design You to Live in Constant Survival

Let’s get spiritual for a second. Because this isn’t just psychological or financial, it’s also deeply spiritual.

God doesn’t call us to chaos.
He doesn’t say, “I came so they could barely scrape by.”
He says, “I came so they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Abundance doesn’t mean designer bags or Instagram vacations. It means enough. It means peace in your decisions. It means margin. It means getting out of survival mode and into stewardship.

If your nervous system is addicted to drama, it’s going to fight you every time you try to rest, save, or say “no.”

But that’s not the voice of God. That’s the voice of your past trying to hold your future hostage.

How to Break the Cycle

Here’s where we start:

1. Tell the truth.
Admit when you’re creating chaos out of habit. Admit when calm feels scary. That’s not weakness, that’s wisdom.

2. Pause before reacting.
Before making a big purchase, saying yes to helping someone, or ignoring your bills, take a beat. Ask: “Am I solving a real problem, or am I chasing that drama high again?”

3. Create routines that feel safe.
Budgeting, tracking expenses, and planning your financial week, these aren’t chores. They’re anchors. They help your nervous system learn what safety feels like.

4. Invite God into your money.
Ask Him to break your patterns. To heal your heart. To help you see money as a tool, not a trap.

5. Get help.
You’re not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s a coach (hi, that’s me), a therapist, or a trusted accountability partner, bring people into your healing.

You need to understand, you are not lazy, and you’re not bad with money. You’re not broken.

You’re likely exhausted. And your brain has confused chaos with comfort.

But you can change that.
You can heal.
And you can build a financial life that doesn’t just look good, but actually feels good.

Drama doesn’t have to be your default. Peace can be your new normal.

You Can’t Take It With You, But You Will Leave a Trail

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Most of us don’t lie awake at night thinking about our “financial legacy.” We’re thinking about how to stretch this week’s paycheck, how to pay for braces or college or a leaky roof, and how to somehow enjoy life in the middle of all that. Legacy sounds like something for the rich. Like a trust fund with a nameplate.

But that’s a myth.
Your financial legacy isn’t about wealth. It’s about intention.

It’s not just what you leave behind, it’s how you live now.

And whether you’re the type to meal prep and coupon clip, or you’re on a first-name basis with DoorDash, you’re already building your legacy.

Let’s Back Up: What Is a Financial Legacy?

Your financial legacy is the impact your money habits, decisions, and values have on others, long after you’re gone. It’s not just a will or a life insurance policy (though please, go make one of those).
It’s the story your finances tell about your life. About what mattered. About what you prioritized. It’s the story your dollars tell about what mattered to you. Maybe it’s the house you built equity in and passed on. Maybe it’s the business you started from scratch that changed your family’s future. Maybe it’s that you taught your kids to tithe before they even understood how taxes work. Maybe it’s simply that you taught your kids how not to fear money.

Everyone leaves one.
The question is: Will yours be by design or by default?

Let me ask you this: when you think about your parents’ or grandparents’ relationship with money, what comes to mind? Was it survival mode? Scarcity? Generosity? Guilt? Hustle culture? Were there unspoken rules about debt, giving, or talking about money?

Those silent messages are part of a financial legacy. And if we’re not careful, we pass them on, whether we meant to or not.

So… What Do You Want It to Be?

Here’s where things get exciting, and, yes, a little convicting. You get to write this story. You get to choose what your money says about your life. And before you start spiraling into shame or overthinking your current bank balance, take a breath. Legacy isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about being intentional.

Some of the most powerful legacies don’t come with dollar signs.

Legacy isn’t just for “someday.” It starts now.
In the daily decisions.
In the silent generosity.
In the way you manage what you’ve been given, whether that’s a little or a lot.

Start with questions like:

  • What money values do I want to pass down?
  • What do I want my kids (or community, or nieces and nephews) to learn by watching me?
  • How do I want to model both faithfulness and freedom?

Maybe your financial legacy is showing your daughter she doesn’t have to go broke to prove she’s successful. Maybe it’s modeling generosity in small, consistent ways. Maybe it’s paying off your debt so your kids don’t inherit your stress.

And yes, maybe it is setting up a trust, or teaching your children how to run the family business. But that all starts with a change of mindset.

If all of this feels like a lot, take it one step at a time. You don’t need to fix everything overnight. You don’t need a six-figure income to have a seven-generation impact. You just need to start living your values with your money, right now, right where you are.

Your legacy isn’t just something you leave. It’s something you live.
And every time you choose wisdom over worry, generosity over fear, stewardship over chaos, you’re building it.

So again I ask:
What do you want your financial legacy to be?
And better yet…
What are you doing about it today?

What If I Mess It Up?  

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Let’s talk about the panic that sets in when life throws you a curveball… and money starts lurking in the background like a nosy neighbor peeking through the blinds whispering, “You gonna handle this or…?”

Whether it’s a divorce, a new job, a layoff, a baby, an empty nest, or just waking up one day feeling like someone replaced your life with a new script and forgot to give you the next page, it’s wild how fast everything can change. And when it does, money decisions feel like fragile bomb wires you’re terrified to cut.

Suddenly, every question feels loaded:

  • Should I move?
  • Can I afford this new direction?
  • Do I cash out the retirement fund or just cry and scroll Zillow? (my former go-to)
  • What does “rebalance your portfolio” even mean, and why does it sound violent?

Why We Freeze (Even Smart People)

You can be incredibly capable and still find yourself absolutely paralyzed when it’s time to decide what to do with your money in a big life transition. Why?

Because money feels finite. It feels like whatever decision you make has to be the right one, or you’ll ruin everything.

You’re not clueless. Your life just outgrew the old plan.

We fear failure. Fear regret. Fear of making it worse. Fear of disappointing people. Fear of having to explain it to your ex, your mom, your financial advisor, or even just your cat, who seems unusually judgmental lately.

And so, instead of deciding, you start Googling things like:

  • “Is ‘hope’ a legit financial strategy?”
  • “Would a grown adult ask their mom to pick their health plan?”
  • “Is there a budget app that comes with a therapist?

You start cleaning the kitchen. You watch YouTube videos about minimalism. You open your spending plan, then immediately close it and make a snack. Decision fatigue sets in before you’ve even made a decision.

And then you realize you’re not stuck. You’re scared. And that’s okay.

Change, even the kind you asked for, is still a form of loss. You’re grieving the old version of you, the familiar routines, the financial plan that may have worked for that past season.

What you need isn’t a perfect plan. It’s a kind voice (yours or borrowed) that says:

“You don’t have to get it all right today. You just have to start.”

And if you’re a person of faith, here’s the reminder you might’ve needed: You don’t have to carry the weight of every decision on your own. God isn’t sitting back waiting for you to figure it out. He’s ready to walk with you through it. Ask Him. Even if your prayer is just, “God, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to do it alone.”

Money decisions are rarely one-and-done. They’re more like a recipe you can tweak along the way. Maybe you start with one small thing:

  • Cancel a subscription.
  • Ask someone you trust a question.
  • Look at your account balances without bracing for emotional impact.
  • Say out loud, “I want to feel safe with money again.”

Funny Thing About Fear…

Fear tries to convince you that making the wrong money decision is the end of the world. But let me tell you what usually ends up happening is you either:

  1. Make a good decision and feel amazing.
  2. Make a so-so decision and learn from it.
  3. Or…make a weird choice, fix it later, and now you’ve got a story that starts with “Okay, don’t judge me, but…”

And guess what? All of those paths still lead forward. And not one of them catches God off guard, even if you’re surprised by the outcome.

So, What Now?

If you’re in the middle of a life change and terrified to touch your finances, just breathe. You don’t need to build Rome (or your retirement plan) in a day.

Start by admitting you’re scared to choose. That honesty alone will take some of the power out of the fear. Then, get curious. Ask:

  • What do I need to feel a little more secure right now?
  • Is there someone who can help me think through this without pressure?
  • What’s one small money win I could try this week?

And pray. Even about your budget. Even about what’s in your cart. Even about whether to downsize or stay put. There’s no shame in asking God to lead you in the practical stuff.

Courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about showing up scared and doing something anyway. Even if that “something” is just opening your banking app without closing one eye and whispering a prayer first.

You’ve got this. Life changed, but you’re still here. And the future version of you is quietly cheering you on from the other side of this decision.

Also… your cat forgives you. Probably.

It’s Okay to Change the Plan

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

There’s a moment in life when you look around and think: I’m not who I used to be.

Maybe it’s subtle like realizing you no longer enjoy the things you used to. Maybe it’s big like going through a divorce, getting married, having a baby, switching careers, or stepping into entrepreneurship. Whatever it is, something inside you has shifted.

You’ve grown.

You’ve evolved.

So why are you still using the same money plan from a version of you that no longer exists?

The Budget That Doesn’t Fit Anymore

A money plan isn’t just a spreadsheet. It’s a reflection of your values, your priorities, your goals, and your identity. And if you’ve changed, if your life has changed, then sticking to the same old budget is like wearing clothes that don’t fit anymore.

Sure, they technically cover you. But they don’t feel right.
They pinch. They restrict. They don’t give you room to breathe, stretch, or move forward.

So, if you’re feeling off financially, it’s not necessarily because you’re doing something wrong.

It might just be that you’ve outgrown the plan.

A plan made by a different version of you. A version who was in survival mode, or trying to please everyone, or following rules that never really fit in the first place.

You’ve healed. You’ve evolved. You’ve stepped into a new season.

And new seasons call for new plans.

You’re Not “Bad With Money”—You’re Outdated

This part is important, so read it twice:
If you’re struggling with your finances right now, it might not be because you’re bad with money.

It might be because your money plan is built for a person you no longer are.

A single mom going back to school has a completely different financial reality than she did when she was child-free and working full-time.
A new entrepreneur can’t rely on the same paycheck-to-paycheck plan they used when they had a 9-to-5.
And someone who’s healing from a toxic relationship might need space, and a spending plan, that prioritizes self-care and rebuilding trust in themselves.

Your money needs to meet you where you are now, not where you were two years ago, or where someone else thinks you should be.

The Spiritual Side of Shifting Your Finances

For those of us who walk with faith, change is not only allowed, it’s expected.

God does not create you to stay the same. He prunes. He redirects. He places you in new seasons, not to punish you, but to grow you.

So why would your finances be any different?

Too often, we treat our finances like a separate part of life, like God is invited into our relationships, our parenting, or our healing… but not our bank accounts.

But God cares about it all.

He sees your desire to be a good steward. He knows the pressure you carry. And He’s not asking for perfection. He’s asking for surrender.

Sometimes, the tension you feel in your finances isn’t a failure. It’s God whispering, This plan no longer fits the person I’m growing you into.

So what if instead of judging yourself… you paused and listened?

What if the struggle was just an invitation to co-create something new with Him right beside you?

Give Yourself Permission

Here’s what I want you to know: You have permission to change your mind. You have permission to rewrite the plan.

You’re allowed to create a money strategy that reflects the season you’re currently in, not the one you survived, or the one you’re trying to impress others with, or the one that “should” make sense on paper.

Let it reflect your values now. Let it support your mental health now. Let it guide your decisions in ways that align with the truth of who you are now.

Your Financial GPS

Think of your money plan like a GPS. When you take a detour, whether by choice or by circumstance, the map doesn’t yell at you or freeze in judgment.

It simply says:
“Recalculating.”

And it gives you a new route.

So if you’ve changed… maybe it’s time your budget says, “Recalculating,” too.
Not because you failed. But because you’re headed somewhere new.
And you deserve a financial plan that can grow with you. One that’s rooted in grace, grounded in reality, and fueled by hope.

Need help with that recalculating moment?
That’s what I’m here for. Let’s make sure your money plan reflects this version of you, the one who’s still learning, still growing, and still worthy of wealth and peace.