spending addiction

Why Your Money Reset Keeps Resetting

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

You want to stop living paycheck to paycheck.

You want to stop spending like your debit card is sponsored by Target.
You want to open your bank app without preparing for emotional impact.

You’ve tried the things.
The budgets. The cash envelopes. The “no-spend weekend.” The new spreadsheet. The cute app with the motivational quotes.

And for a little while… it works.

Then life shows up.
Groceries cost more. The car makes a noise. Someone has a birthday. You’re tired. You deserve a treat. The budget quietly fades into the background like a gym membership in February.

And now you’re back in the same place, wondering, “Why can’t I make this stick?”

Let’s talk about that.

The Emotional Side Nobody Warned You About

We don’t just spend money.
We spend for comfort.
We spend for stress relief.
We spend in celebration.
We spend to escape

Money is tied to emotions, whether we admit it or not.

You don’t buy coffee because you’re thirsty.
You buy it because you’re looking to perk up.

You don’t use Amazon because you need something.
You use it because it’s effortless.

And you’re left wondering why the new budget isn’t working.

Scripture reminds us:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Your spending is showing you what your heart is craving.

Why Simple Changes Don’t Stick

Here’s the part nobody loves to hear:
Small changes fail when they’re sitting on top of big patterns.

You change the budget…
…but keep the same habits.

You cut subscriptions…
…but keep the same stress responses.

You track expenses…
…but keep the same money story.

A few common reasons your resets keep resetting:

1. You’re treating money like math, not behavior.

Money looks like numbers, but it moves like emotions.

2. You’re fixing tools, not identity.

You’re saying, “I need a better system,” instead of, “I need a new relationship with money.”

3. You’re trying to restrict instead of redirect.

Restriction feels like punishment. Redirection feels like power.

4. You’re aiming for perfection instead of progress.

One mistake and the whole plan feels ruined, so you quit.

5. You’re trying to build discipline without building peace.

Discipline without peace always burns out.

The Quiet Frustration Nobody Talks About

You’ve carried hope into every new plan.
And you’ve carried disappointment out of most of them.

You’re tired of starting over.

You’re tired of hoping this plan will be different.

You’re tired of watching your future goals get eaten by present stress.

Scripture speaks straight to that weariness:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

If willpower alone worked, patterns wouldn’t repeat and we wouldn’t need second chances.

Your money habits don’t need another promise you can’t keep.

They need more honesty and better support.

The Spiritual Layer We Skip Too Often

God doesn’t want you stressed, ashamed, or stuck.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

Peace doesn’t mean being rich.
Peace means steady.
Peace means clear.
Peace means you stop expecting everything to fall apart.

And Proverbs reminds us:

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” — Proverbs 21:5

Not overnight abundance.
Not lottery abundance.
Steady, built, grown abundance.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Stop asking:
“How do I fix my spending?”

Start asking:
“How do I build a life I don’t need to escape from with spending?”

That question changes everything.

Because now money isn’t just about stopping.
It’s about building.

Where This Leaves You

You can stop living paycheck to paycheck.
Not by trying harder.
But by looking deeper and building differently.

And when you stumble, because you will, remember:

“The righteous may fall seven times, but they rise again.” — Proverbs 24:16

Not because they’re perfect.
Because they don’t quit.

Show Me Your Bank Account, and I’ll Show You Your Priorities

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

We all have a list in our heads.

Family. Faith. Freedom. Health. Peace. Security. Growth. Legacy.

If I asked you what matters most to you, you wouldn’t hesitate. You’d answer with confidence from the heart. And I would believe you.

But if you slid your bank statement across the table…
I’d learn something else too.

Not because you’re lying.

But because money keeps a record of what we actually choose.

Your bank account isn’t trying to teach you a lesson.
It simply tells the truth.

And sometimes, that truth is uncomfortable.

The Gap Between Values and Behavior

Most people don’t struggle with values.
They struggle with alignment.

We say we value:

  • Financial peace, but live paycheck to paycheck..
  • Family time, but buy convenience instead.
  • Freedom, yet finance everything.
  • Health, but ignore our own care.
  • Growth, but we rarely invest in learning or getting help.

Again, this isn’t about shame.
It’s about awareness.

Because money follows behavior.
And behavior follows habits.
And habits often operate without permission from our values.

Your bank account is a mirror.

It reflects what felt urgent.
What felt comforting.
What felt necessary in the moment.

And what felt easier than sitting with discomfort.

Spending Is Emotional, Not Logical

We like to pretend we are rational with money.

We are not.

We spend when we are tired.
We spend when we are bored.
We spend when we are stressed.
We spend when we are trying to feel something.

Sometimes we spend to celebrate.
Sometimes we spend to numb.
Sometimes we spend to belong.
Sometimes we spend to escape.

Your bank statement doesn’t just show transactions.
It shows emotional patterns.

It shows where you run for relief.
It shows what makes you feel safe.
It shows what you use to cope.

And once you see that, you can’t unsee it.

The Story Money Is Telling About You

Imagine your bank account could talk.

It might say:

“I value convenience more than rest.”
“I value comfort more than margin.”
“I value appearances more than peace.”
“I value quick relief more than long-term stability.”
“I value survival over strategy.”

Or it might say:

“I value preparation.”
“I value choice.”
“I value future me.”
“I value flexibility.”
“I value alignment.”

Neither story makes you a good or bad person.

But one story gives you options.
The other quietly removes them.

Priorities Aren’t What You Claim — They’re What You Fund

If something truly matters to you, it shows up in one of three places:

  1. Your calendar
  2. Your energy
  3. Your money

When all three agree, life feels grounded.

When they don’t, life feels heavy.

You can say you want financial freedom, but if every dollar is assigned to comfort, distraction, and reaction, freedom stays theoretical.

You can say you want peace, but if your spending creates pressure, peace stays distant.

You can say you want growth, but if nothing is invested in learning, growth becomes wishful thinking.

This isn’t about cutting joy.

It’s about deciding what kind of joy you want later.

Why This Feels Personal

Money touches everything:

  • How you sleep
  • How you argue
  • How you dream
  • How you choose
  • How you feel about yourself

That’s why conversations about money often feel like conversations about worth, security, control, and identity.

You aren’t just managing numbers.

You are managing your relationship with safety.

So when I say, “Show me your bank account,” what I’m really saying is:

Show me what you protect.
Show me what you fear.
Show me what you trust.
Show me what you avoid.
Show me what you believe about yourself.

The Quiet Power of Alignment

Alignment doesn’t require perfection.

It requires honesty.

Alignment is when your money begins to reflect who you are becoming, not just who you have been.

It’s when you pause before spending and ask,
“Does this support the life I say I want?”

It’s when you stop treating future-you like a stranger.

It’s when your values stop living only in words and start living in the numbers.

Alignment is peaceful.

Even when the numbers are small.

Even when progress is slow.

Because direction matters more than speed.

The Hardest Truth

If your bank account doesn’t match your values, it doesn’t mean you lack discipline.

It often means you lack clarity.

Most people were never taught how to connect values to spending.

They were taught how to earn.
They were taught how to swipe.
They were taught how to survive.

They were rarely taught how to choose.

You Don’t Need a New Budget. You Need a New Conversation.

Not a spreadsheet conversation.

A values conversation.

A “what kind of life do I actually want to fund” conversation.

A “what am I willing to delay for something better” conversation.

A “what am I tired of pretending doesn’t matter” conversation.

Because once your values are clear, the numbers become easier.

Not easy.

But clearer.

A Gentle Challenge

Pull up your last 30 days of spending.

Don’t judge it.
Don’t explain it.
Don’t justify it.

Just observe it.

Then ask:

What does this say I care about?
What does this say I avoid?
What does this say I protect?
What does this say I prioritize?

You may discover that your money isn’t betraying you.

It’s just telling you where you’ve been living on autopilot.

And autopilot can be changed.

This Is Where Real Financial Peace Starts

Not with restriction.

Not with guilt.

Not with comparison.

But with awareness.

When you see your money clearly, you gain choice.

And choice is where peace begins.

Final Thought

Your bank account is not your enemy.

It is your most honest feedback partner.

It shows you where your life is currently funded.

And it quietly invites you to decide if that still fits who you are becoming.

Reflection Question:
If your bank account had to explain your priorities to someone who’s never met you, would you feel proud of the story it tells or want to rewrite it?

If you’re ready to rewrite it, start with one small, honest shift. One choice that supports the life you actually want to live. And let that be enough for today.

If you’d like help making your money match the life you actually want, I’d love to support you. You can schedule a conversation with me when you’re ready.

You can even do a one time jump start session to get you going in the right direction dhttps://meetings.tulincu.com/public/693db1c6538dba003187eb5d

The Great Generational Money Feud: Who Really Had It Easier?

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

Let’s get controversial. Arguments about money between generations have become intense. Online, Boomers might say, “If you’d stop buying $7 lattes, you could afford a house!” while Millennials or Gen Z reply, “Yeah, when homes didn’t cost 14 times your salary!”

It’s easy to roll your eyes at either side. But, like most arguments, the truth isn’t black and white; it’s somewhere in the middle.

The Older Generation’s Side: “We Worked for It.”

The older generation loves to remind everyone that they worked hard for what they have, and they’re not wrong. Many of them came up during a time when you landed a job and stayed there for 30 years, maybe even retired with a pension.

They dealt with sky-high interest rates, sometimes as high as 15% or more in the late ’70s and ’80s. So yes, homes were cheaper, but financing them was a whole different kind of painful. A single percentage point (or even a quarter of one) can mean hundreds of dollars a month, and they felt that sting.

They didn’t have credit cards on every corner or “buy now, pay later” buttons tempting them daily. Vacations (if they took them) were road trips, dinners out were rare, and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant mowing your yard, not competing with Instagram influencers.

So when they look at today’s spending habits, subscription services, daily coffee runs, and designer side hustles, they see indulgence, not inflation.

And from their view, they’re right. They learned to live on less because they had to.

The Younger Generation’s Side: “You Don’t Get It.”

But the younger generation isn’t imagining things either; the math really is different now.

Yes, Boomers had higher interest rates, but they were also borrowing a lot less. A $60,000 house at 12% is a whole different beast than a $400,000 home at 7%. And that’s if you can even get approved for a mortgage with today’s debt-to-income ratios.

Millennials and Gen Z aren’t just battling home prices. They’re buried under student loans, rising healthcare costs, childcare that costs more than rent, and stagnant wages that haven’t kept up with inflation. Many of them are working two jobs or side hustles just to break even.

And while many Boomers had company pensions and affordable healthcare through their employers, younger workers are often piecing together gig income, freelance work, and 401(k)s that depend entirely on their own contributions.

Add in things like skyrocketing rent, insurance premiums, and the constant cost of staying “connected”, internet, cell phone, streaming, and apps, and it’s no wonder so many feel like they’re sprinting just to stay in place.

The Truth in the Middle

Here’s where both sides are right and wrong.

The older generation worked hard and faced real financial challenges, but they also lived in an economy that rewarded stability and consistency. The younger generation is facing costs that didn’t exist back then, but they also live in a time with more access to information, flexibility, and opportunity than ever before.

Boomers had to sacrifice convenience; Millennials and Gen Z have to sacrifice comfort. Both are valid forms of struggle.

The truth is, both generations want the same thing: financial freedom, peace of mind, and the ability to enjoy life without worrying about the next bill. They just had to play the game under completely different rules.

What We Can Learn From Each Other

Maybe the older generation could acknowledge that times really have changed and the math doesn’t add up the same way it used to.
And maybe the younger generation could recognize that some of the financial frustration isn’t just systemic, it’s also behavioral.

Discipline, patience, and delayed gratification still matter. But so does adaptability, creativity, and learning to navigate a world that moves faster than ever.

If we stopped arguing over who had it worse and started learning from each other, we might actually meet in the middle: old-school sacrifice with modern strategy.

Because financial success isn’t just about the decade you were born in, it’s about how you manage the one you’re living in.

The Addiction No One Talks About

/ Yvonne / Leave a comment

I saw this quote recently, and I swear it leapt off the screen and side-eyed me:
“If you don’t think you’re addicted to something, try fasting from it.”

Well… that felt a little personal.

Because my first thought was, Oh, I could give up anything if I had to.
And then I imagined going a week without coffee, Amazon, or that little thrill I get when I see “Your order has shipped.”
Suddenly, I realized, yeah, maybe I am a little addicted.

Financial Fasting Hits Different

Now, before you think I’m suggesting a wilderness fast with no water and locusts, calm down. I’m talking about a financial fast; no unnecessary spending for a set time.

No takeout. No “just one quick Target run.” No late-night scrolling on Etsy, convincing yourself you need another candle that smells like “Peaceful Rainforest Serenity.”

If you want to know what’s got a grip on you, try saying no to it for seven days.
The first day, you’ll feel strong. Day two, you’ll justify everything. By day three, you’ll be eyeing your debit card like it’s the last donut in the box.

The moment you tell yourself no, you start to see what’s really driving the yes. But that’s where the learning happens.

What God Showed Me

When I went through my divorce, I didn’t just lose a marriage; I lost my sense of safety. And without realizing it, I tried to buy that feeling back. New clothes, dinners out, little treats “to cheer myself up.”

And I remember God nudging me one day: “You’re trying to fill an emotional hole with financial band-aids.”

Ouch again.

Because He was right. What I really needed was peace. Not another Amazon box on my porch.

Money wasn’t my problem. My need for comfort was.
And only God could really meet that need.

The Real Addiction

It’s not always the spending we’re hooked on.
It’s the feeling it gives us. The comfort, control, or distraction.
And when those feelings fade, we’re right back where we started, wallet lighter and heart still hungry.

That’s why fasting, financial or otherwise, can be such a powerful reset. It’s not about deprivation. It’s about revelation.

When we stop feeding the habit, we start hearing from God in the quiet.
And He has this funny way of showing us what we’ve been running from… and what we actually need.

Let’s Dig a Little Deeper

Here’s where the life coach in me steps in:
If you find yourself overspending, ask what need you’re really trying to meet.

Are you buying to feel seen?
To escape stress?
To reward yourself because no one else is clapping for your effort?
Or maybe, you’re trying to create a sense of control in a life that feels unpredictable.

When you can name the feeling behind the behavior, you start to break the pattern.
And when you bring that awareness to God, He can actually heal the part of you that’s reaching for something temporary to soothe something deeper.

Try It

Pick one thing to fast from financially. It might be DoorDash, Amazon, Starbucks, or online browsing when you’re bored.

Every time the urge hits, stop and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What am I hoping this purchase will fix?
  • Is there another way I can meet that need, spiritually, emotionally, or practically?

Then invite God into that space.
Pray. Take a walk. Journal. Call a friend.
You’ll start to see what’s been running your money (and maybe your peace) without your permission.

Sometimes the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough money.
It’s that we’re spending to fill a void only God and a little self-honesty can heal.

And when you fast from what controls you, you finally make room for what frees you.

And hey, if you make it all seven days without an Amazon relapse, reward yourself with… well, prayer. Or maybe a walk. But not another candle, okay? (And no—adding just one thing to your Amazon cart “for later” doesn’t count as fasting. Nice try.)