Happiness. Everyone is in pursuit of happiness.

Happiness is something we pursue for its own sake. Every goal we set we do it in hopes that when we reach that goal, we’re going to be happy or at least happier than we are now. 

Have you ever heard of the Hedonic Treadmill? The hedonic treadmill is a metaphor for the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another thinking that when we finally reach a goal we’ll be happy. Having goals and setting goals are GOOD! But discontent can become addictive, hence the treadmill. Going, going, going with no end. Once we’ve gotten on that treadmill and we’ve reached our goal we get to what’s called Hedonic adaptation. It’s the tendency for us to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major events regardless if they are positive or negative. Maybe you really want a new car. And you save everything you can for six months in order to get that car. You go to the dealer, test drive, smell the new interior, feel the power behind the acceleration and you can’t wait to sign on the dotted line. You get through the transaction, drive off the lot and bring that baby home. Every morning you head to the garage a little early so you can take the scenic route to work and spend a little more time in your new car. But eventually, it rains and the car needs to be washed. And your kid spilled their juice in the back seat. And the hair from the pet you so dearly love is now stuck to the upholstery. The love affair is fading and your brand-new car is now just a car. It’s still beautiful and it still gets you where you’re going in style but the excitement is gone. So, we return to the treadmill because the thought of new wood floors in the family room sure sounds nice! And we step back onto the treadmill seeking our next moment of happiness (kind of like what people call chasing a high). That is unless we start to evaluate what happiness truly means to us.

One way to start defining your happiness is when you set a goal, any goal, ask yourself “How is this goal going to increase my happiness? And will the end justify the means?” – meaning will it be worth the sacrifice you’re going to make in order to reach your goal.

And every goal does have a sacrifice. Maybe you want to be more successful in business or make more money? Your sacrifice may be spending more time at work or in school instead of doing something else you really want to do like spending time with loved ones or doing other activities that you enjoy.

What about losing weight and getting in shape? You’ll likely sacrifice the food you love and the comfort it may bring you. You’ll sacrifice free time working out. Maybe even give up some sleep if you decide you need to get up earlier to fit that workout in. You’ll sacrifice money spent on new clothes.

So, you really need to ask yourself, is it worth it? And most times that answer will be yes.

Now ask yourself what reaching this goal will give you that you don’t already have. It may be more money and the security it can bring. Or maybe a healthier body so you can live longer and have more time with your loved ones. But by asking this question, it helps to validate your yes, confirming it will be worth the sacrifice. And sometimes this is where we find out it’s not worth it or doesn’t align with our true values.

As we work on our goals (pursuing our happiness) it’s important to celebrate the small victories. It makes the journey more tolerable and if we make celebrating the small stuff a habit, we may start looking forward to the sacrifice and see our progress which makes reaching our goal more likely.

It’s important to be an active participant in your own life. To live with intention.

Take a moment and ask yourself what brings you joy in your life. It can be something simple, like for me, I love being outside and I start every morning spending time in my backyard with my dogs. I love it and it makes for a peaceful start to my day. Maybe you find joy in reading a book, working on cars, or having a phone call with a friend. Whatever it is, look for a way to incorporate a small moment of joy in every single day. Even if you have to schedule it.

On the flip side, ask yourself what has a tendency to drain joy from your life. Pay attention to how you feel around certain people, or doing certain activities (like being on social media maybe). And then look for ways to reduce or if possible, eliminate those things that drain your joy. 

Research shows that when we have a positive impact on others it helps us put our own lives in perspective and it boosts our own happiness. So, I want to leave you with this challenge- find a way today or sometime this week, to boost someone else’s happiness. Let that become a habit and watch your own happiness grow.

#happiness #personaldevelopment #goals #growth #contentment

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