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Pull In And Park It Here For A Little Tune-Up

The Chances We Don’t Take

Good morning, friends!

I apologize for so much time between posts but I’m doing my best to deal with the things life has tossed at me. I can tell you that the grieving process is rather unpredictable.

If you’re a reader or know me personally you know my routine…. sitting in the hammock chair on the balcony is how most of my thoughts begin.

So, I made a simple post on Instagram. I shared a meme. It was something that struck a chord in me so I thought I’d share. It was a simple meme. I’m not even responsible for penning it.  But I shared it. And the response has been incredible. It lead to what I will write.

I want to be brave and say a million things. Tattletale everything in my heart and on my mind. But I’m afraid of the consequence. But then people started to message me….

I can’t tell you how many people I know and certainly don’t know, that suffer from life. Yeah. From life. We live strong, love fully and get broken, hard.

And we settle.

For what’s left.

And we breathe to survive.

And we eat. Not tasting.

And we work. To pay bills.

And we go from day to day not remembering anything or making any memories.

And time passes.

Wasted.

And we look back. At what was.

And we wish for more.

And dream forward.

At what could have been,

If only…

And we sit.

And time ticks.

And we.stop.living…..

And yet wake each day just to do it again.

That was my life. My existence. The crumbs I accepted.

Friends, why do we do that? Why do we think that if we just make it through today, to next week, to the weekend, the new job, the new whatever! that things will be better?

I’m telling you, they won’t! We have to take charge of our own lives and make the changes within ourselves to create the lives we want.

I did it. And I’m just realizing what taking a chance will do.

My story is ever evolving and I have so much more to tell.

But for now, please friends, don’t give up your dreams. Don’t believe that what is is all that will ever be. Things can and will get better if you take the chance to make the changes.

Continue to be kind, continue to dream. Don’t give up on yourself or the life you are meant to live!

I will try to be back soon…..I’m still working on me.

Marching On

Hello friends! I mentioned an update in my last post so I need to get to it!

I’m sorry to have neglected you for so long but a lot has happened and I have needed time to absorb and deal with it all.

I am often talking about living your life and following your path and I finally did just that!

I knew it was time to make a change and I prayed a lot about it and as doors were closing where I was, I trusted God and followed the doors He opened.

Since being here things have gone fairly smoothly. And when they haven’t, I haven’t gotten worked up about it. I’ve dealt with it and learned.

As I said in a previous FB video, unfortunately, along the way I lost two people that meant more to me than I can express. I’m angry, sad, hurt and about a thousand other emotions I can’t put into words. One I lost to…I don’t even know how to say it other than extenuating circumstances. The other to what they are saying is suicide. I can’t believe either one happened. I always thought they would be part of my life always. People who I would continue to share my life with forever. But I guess they had other plans. When someone leaves your life, especially suddenly and unexpectedly as both of these did, it leaves an emptiness that you can’t explain and most likely will never fill. So here I am, just after midnight into July 4th. What an appropriate day to do my best to break free and find independence from it all.

I will probably never know the whole story with either person. But one thing has been solidified to me…always, always tell people how you feel. I know we all hear it all the time, and I know I say it all the time, but we hear it all the time because it’s true!

I go to the FB page of my friend who died just to see his face and relive memories. I re-read our texts, and messages and look at pictures and linger on the last things we said to one another. I always told him how I felt so I don’t have that regret but a month later I see people still writing on his page saying “I don’t think I ever told you”. I don’t ever want to be one of those people.

There are times that it has drained me. I’ve emptied myself more than once without being refilled. It’s left me exhausted physically and emotionally but I have an innate drive to make the world better. To uplift people. It doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone. It’s just my purpose in life. It always has been and I’ve always known it. It just manifests itself in different ways.

So as I start this new chapter in my life I’m excited to share it all with you. I’m trying to come to grips with everything that has happened and embrace what is to come. I hope you all stick around and come along for the ride because I’m on a new road!

I’m too tired for the details as to how I got to where I am but I promise to fill in the blanks soon.

Just remember this, friends….You only get one shot at life so make it count. Make it last. Make it worth every heartbreak, every smile, every tear, every memory.
This is your life, your destiny, your fate…this is your only chance.

 

Change

What’s good friends!!??

I apologize for neglecting you but I have quite the update coming soon!! Until then I want to share a small, heartfelt poem I penned a little while back.

You know it’s coming….Be kind, friends! Let’s make the world better, together!

 

Change

Sun turns to rain

Smiles to tears

I haven’t felt you

In what feels like years

 

Laughter to lies

Memories burned

Unsure of the next step

Or where it all turned

 

There will be no answers

Questions remain

Best to let go now

Try to lessen the pain

 

Move forward, onward

Stumble, don’t fall

I gave it my best

I gave it my all

 

So much unsaid

Never to be heard

Bury it deep

Lessons unlearned

 

Time never stops

It keeps moving on

Wishing to right

Those things gone wrong

Time Goes On

Happy Mother’s Day Friends! I hope you’ve all had a blessed week!

I know that today is an off day for Nordy’s Garage but I wanted to put out a special Mother’s Day message.

I know that today is a day to celebrate mothers and I personally think it’s a wonderful holiday.

But as joyful as the flowers and ice cream cakes are, today can also be a very difficult time for many.

I remember many years back when all I wanted was children and it seemed to be the one thing I couldn’t have. Every year on this day my heart broke for the longing I had to have a child in my arms.

If you’ve read my bio you know I did eventually go on to have children but for those years in waiting it was a painful emptiness every year especially on this day. And now that my kids are grown and moved away, a new emptiness has come in to play. But now it’s different. Now it’s a missing them that is also filled with pride and joy.

But I know many other people are suffering this day as well. Some for the same reason I once did but many for the emptiness that won’t quit.

For my best friend who lost her oldest son earlier this year. And another friend who recently lost his mother. My heart is with you. When people are missing from our lives, those are holes in us that won’t ever be completely repaired.

This post won’t be long because I know we’re all busy but my message is clear. Appreciate those you have today because tomorrow isn’t promised. You can lose people in the blink of an eye whether through misunderstandings, death, or whatever the case may be.

Don’t live with regret. Let people know they matter to you and that you love them because the memories can haunt you for a lifetime.

Be kind friends. Time is short.

What I Learned

Hello Friends!! Have you found something good today? How about that you’re alive? That’s always a good place to start.

Sometimes you don’t know how exhausted you are until you stop moving and it hits you like the train that’s been trying to run you over for weeks. With all of my early to rise days, last night was finally my early to bed night. And with that being said, let’s get on with today’s tune-up.

I give advice (or often just ramble…LOL) generally based off of my (or someone close to me) life experiences or the wisdom of others that I have seen put into action.

Recently, simply by listening to a conversation, I received a brilliant piece of advice. I overheard a friend say “If someone comes into your mind, or you can’t get someone off your mind, pray for them. Literally stop what you’re doing and pray for them.”

That sounded like wonderful advice! So I recently started to put this into practice and what a difference it’s made!

Sometimes praying is easy. You can pray about people you love, your family, to have a good day, all kinds of things.

But what about praying for people that haven’t treated you well? That boss that that only talks to you to tell you what you’ve done wrong, that friend that only comes around when they want something from you, your child that makes you question why you ever had children, that significant other that broke your heart?

We tend to shirk away from pain and things that cause us discomfort but prayer isn’t just for the good things. God can turn any test into a testimony. And when we pray for difficult people or situations it’s not to change THEM. It’s to change US.

I’m not trying to tell you that if you put this into practice that your life will suddenly turn around and you’ll have no problems but with practice, it will change your perspective on things.

Maybe the next time your boss comes to you with an issue, you can use it to improve your work instead of being resentful. Maybe your friend comes to you because they have no one else and they trust you. Maybe your stubborn child (although difficult now) will grow up to make a real difference in other peoples lives (in a good way!) and maybe the person who broke your heart can teach you to forgive.

Kind of going back to a previous tune-up…it’s about your response to things after the reaction.  If someone comes to your mind there’s a reason for it and you need to deal with it. And if the reason someone is on your mind is for a good thing then make sure to count that among your blessings. Either way, you get a more positive result.

We only can control ourselves and when we practice controlling our thoughts and responses we can change ourselves for the better.

Start today by being kind to each other, and yourself. Make changes to make yourself better. Seems simple enough, right?

Until next time, friends!

 

Short And Sweet

Hello friends!

Today’s post is a bit later but I’ve been working on it for a while and each time I read it, it feels scattered and like the thoughts are just rattling around randomly in my head. If you recall a few weeks ago I was very out of sorts and couldn’t seem to figure it out. It’s like God was constantly tapping on my shoulder telling me to pay close attention and I was distracted. The cloud lifted a few weeks ago and things were made clear but I have to admit that the cloud is back.

So today I decided to try and clear my head a little and I headed to the park for my first run since my injury last year! I’m far from 100% healed yet but it felt really amazing to get out there and stumble around for a while.

I can’t say that it made a difference to the fogginess in my head so I’m not going to leave much here today as I’m going to continue working on my next tune-up that I started earlier in the week and hope that the thoughts in my head can come together to make sense to you all.

I’m working hard on not only retraining and strengthening my body to work properly again after my injury but I’m also working hard (maybe even harder) on my heart and mind after what they’ve been through as well. Maybe none of it is completely repairable. Maybe these have been life-changing events for me. But no matter the path I will search hard to find the silver lining and a way to glorify the Father.

Kindness friends…it goes a long way.

Leaps Of Faith

Hello friends! I hope your week has gone well and that when you’ve laid your head down at night you were able to count your blessings.

My week was full of work. We’re in our busy season so it’s expected but still exhausting. When I’m not at work I have been taking a look at the things I want to achieve.

I often think about what I’m going to write either from what I (or people I care about) are experiencing or after being inspired or reminded of a quote or saying I’ve come across that sparks something in me.

This week it’s a bit of both. I’ve been actively working on healing my body and soul. It’s slow going and some days are better than others. At my low times, I rely heavily on prayer, friends, tears, and of course, Nordy.

But on one of my lowest days, I came across a quote that spoke to me…loudly.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

And that’s when I truly realized how much of my life I’ve spent wishing it away.

I know we’re all guilty of that. We wish we could lose weight, as we eat another slice of pizza (or in my case, nachos). We wish we had a better job, yet we never take a look at the want ads. We wish we had a more fulfilling life yet we never leave our comfort zone. We wish we could break bad or unhealthy habits yet are not willing to suffer short-term for the long-term gain.

Doing any of these things takes a leap of faith and it scares us because that means we have to have faith in ourselves and embrace one of the hardest things to achieve, discipline.

So this past week I really refocused on me and not my circumstances and took my first step towards one goal…I got back to healthy eating and working out and I’m down almost 10 pounds.

I’ve also stopped simply wishing and set goals that scare me beyond words but it’s time I practice what I preach. These are not new goals for me. They are all things I had planned on doing but my timeline has changed a bit. I’d tell you more about them now but I’m saving them for future tune-ups!

My point today is dream! Dream BIG! But you can’t stop there. Take the next step into making your dreams come true. YOU are the driver of your life! Don’t let fear stop you. Especially fear of failure. Yes, you might fail…and that’s ok. You can try again. The only thing worse than failing is never trying and living the rest of your life wishing you did.

I’m tired of just wishing…I’m ready to try.

And of course as always, be kind, make amends, and keep striving for greatness! If you don’t then who will?

Stay tuned. You can help me take Nordys Garage to the next level…adventures await!

Suck It Up Buttercup. No, Not This Time.

I’ve heard it said many times that life isn’t about what happens to you but how you react to what happens to you. And I always simply agreed. But I’ve thought about it a lot lately and I think that saying is a little dismissive, and a little too basic, because life IS about the things that happen to you. The things that we have no control over. And when we are forced to feel and react to those things, those things eventually shape us.

This past week and a half has been one of a lot of struggle for me. I was traveling a lot and tired and suffered the loss of more than one person I loved.

I’ve done my best to muddle through and be as positive as I can and look for that elusive silver lining but I found in doing that I was doing a disservice to myself. I wasn’t actually dealing with anything. I was band-aiding it. Trying to cover it up until it went away.

News flash…it doesn’t go away.

I had to accept what had happened this week and face it head on because ignoring it and pretending to be happy wasn’t going to change anything. So, I embraced it. I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve slept, I’ve fasted (going on 72 hours) and prayed and ended my night last night with a meditation and Nordy sleeping beside me growling softly as I imagine he was dreaming about his day at the vet getting poked and prodded.

Did it change anything? No. But will it? Eventually. I’m learning to take it day by day. Sometimes moment by moment.

I’m learning what it means to truly praise God in the storm. Is it easy? Not even a little bit. But my choice is to grow through the pain and not just go through it. And that won’t happen if I ignore it.

So as always friends, please, please be kind to one another. I’ve said it a thousand times and will continue to do so…you never ever know what someone is going through and hiding behind their smile.

Recalculating

Hello Friends!

So recently I found myself existing. I’m sure most of you think that doesn’t sound too bad and it sure beats the alternative. I was giving of myself (or so I thought) to everything…work, friends, family, and not getting filled in any way. I had no purpose, no drive. I simply was. I had a vision for my life and this wasn’t it.

I think we all have that innate desire…to have purpose. To be fulfilled. And that doesn’t mean fortune and fame. Rarely does it mean that. It means to live your life so it matters.

A lot of people will tell you to live your passion. That sounds great on the surface but what does that really mean? Sometimes your passion is to sing…and you love every moment in your car or the shower, belting out the words to your favorite song and it energizes you and makes you happy and you feel it so very passionately with every chorus. But the trouble is that no matter how many voice lessons you take you wouldn’t even make it through the tryouts of The Voice.

Find a way to make money doing what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life! I know we’ve all heard that before. But what if you suck at what you love? What if you try to turn what you love into a money maker but it doesn’t happen. Then what? Now what you love is work. And how long will you continue to love doing it?

I think if we strive to find our purpose in a paycheck we will never be happy. We will never have enough. If you are lucky enough to make money doing what you love then that is a huge blessing. But we can’t be so focused on money=happiness that we forget to be happy when money DOESN’T = happiness. And no, I’m not saying you’ll be happier being poor, but I do think there’s something to be said for simplicity.

Maybe sometimes our passion and what fulfills us doesn’t have a paycheck attached. Maybe instead it has a price tag. Maybe it’s something YOU will pay. Maybe it’s volunteering. Maybe it’s giving of yourself to a friend in need. Maybe it’s listening and giving advice and loving someone through a hard time. Maybe it’s letting go of what you know and taking a chance at something new.

We too often make life about stuff instead of making it about each other.

I know my purpose and I’m on a journey to find my place.

As always, be kind to one another. You never know what someone is going through.

 

And The Light Comes On

Have you ever read something, heard something, or been told something and you think, “yeah, ok, I get that”, but then just move on? You might hear it a dozen times and each time it’s the same thing on repeat…ok, I get it, and move on. Then one day you hear it and it hits you to your core and suddenly it’s like “Ok!! Now I REALLY get it!”

I think things make sense to us for different reasons at different times in our lives. As we continue to change and grow our ideas and mindset can also change and grow.

Sometimes we come to realizations about things because of events in our lives. Things happen that can change a once tightly held belief. That doesn’t mean we were wrong before. It could just mean that whatever we once held true no longer serves the same purpose in our lives that it once did.

I had that happen to me today.

I’ve heard a saying dozens of times and I always (casually) thought, “yep, true”. But today it seriously hit me and really made sense to me. That saying is “if your absence doesn’t matter your presence never did.”

I know why it makes truer sense to me now that it did before. My life has been evolving considerably the last few weeks and I’m making a conscious effort to make changes and forward strides in my life. I know that when the changes I’m working towards comes to fruition I will know without a doubt that my presence never did matter. At least not the way I once thought it did.

Surprisingly that thought doesn’t hurt my ego at all. It motivates me because it shows me that where I am in life is not where I need to be and that so long as I keep moving forward I will be at a place in my life where my presence will indeed matter and that my absence would be noticed.

Change is scary and when making changes DOUBTS will arise. But if you know you’re moving in the right direction the peace will soon return.

Friends, whatever those changes are that you are striving for, new job, new health, new location, new relationships, whatever it is, keep striving. Even when you’re tired and your heart is hurting and you’re wondering if you matter at all, KNOW that you do and you will get to where you need to be in life. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like your presence didn’t matter. Just realize that when you start to feel that way it might be a signal that it’s time to move forward towards where you need to be and that moment is nothing more than a stepping stone.

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